This is part 2 of Confrontations.
Drusilla: Spike, I’m hungry. My stomach is fluttery and my head is still swirly. Please get me something to eat?
Spike: Ok, c’mon Dru. (he takes her by the hand and leads her off the stage)
Buffy: COP CHICK? Care to explain Angel?
Angel: There’s nothing to explain.
Buffy: (haughtily) Oh really?
Angel: Yes. I’m not going all the way with her, as I know you did with that Parker kid.
Buffy: (slack-jawed) How did you know about him?
Angel: Spike paid me a visit. Told me everything. Buffy how could you? He’s too old for you anyway.
Buffy: He’s too old for me? Excuse me, you’re 243 and you had no problem with me! He was only maybe 2 years older than me. And why do I even need to explain this to you? You’re not my boyfriend anymore. You skipped town remember?
Angel: You don’t even know his real age?
Buffy: So. It’s none of your business.
Angel: (exasperated) I’m just trying to look out for you. You don’t know anything about guys.
Buffy: I don’t do I? I know what I need to know. Men are evil. Except Riley who’s sweet and considerate. And why don’t you just shove it Angel because you’re the one who taught me that!
Angel: I…I didn’t know…I didn’t mean to…
Buffy: (snippily) Well you did. So deal.
She walks over to her seat and sits down. Angel trudges after her.
Jenny: Places everyone.
Drusilla and Spike come back to the set, both have blood smudged on their mouths, which they wipe off. They take their seats.
Jenny: Welcome back. Buffy and Angel both had an argument about their significant others. Care to elaborate?
Buffy: (bluntly) No.
Buffy turns in her chair so she’s facing Spike and Jenny, not Angel. She looks hurt and angry. Angel, at her blunt movement, looks crushed.
Angel: I think you summed it up well Jenny. (turns to Buffy) Buffy…I…
Buffy: Shut up.
Angel: (sadly) ‘K.
Buffy: (rolling her eyes) Now comes his patented 50 minute brooding session. Grow up Angel.
Angel says nothing, just sits there, a sad expression on his face.
Audience: Aww!
Jenny: (choked up) Well, this is getting mighty…(gets handed a tissue by an audience member)…heavy. I feel your pain Angel.
Buffy: (dryly) No, you really don’t.
Spike: Wow, slayer’s got a backbone! Who knew?
Buffy: (holds stake up threateningly) Shut up Spike or I’ll jam this up your…
Jenny: (interrupting) Well, to shed some more light on this situation, lets bring out our next guest, Riley Finn!
Riley comes out in a white shirt with sweater tied around his waist, jeans, and sneakers. The epitome of preppy.
Spike: Oh yea, they’re bringing out Captain Cardboard.
Jenny: Welcome Riley.
Riley: (smiling) Thanks Jenny.
Buffy gets up, excitement on her face, and wraps her arm around Riley’s neck and they quickly kiss.
Buffy: Riley.
Riley: Buffy.
Spike: Oh stake me now!
Riley: (glancing at Spike) Do I know you?
Spike: Yes you dumb lug. Remember hostile something or other. You put that *bleep* chip in my *bleeping* head! I want that *bleeping* thing removed! NOW!
Riley: (takes out a walkie-talkie) This is Lilac 1! Hostile Subterrestrial 17 is located! Backup now!
Spike: (shocked) You can’t kidnap me on NATIONAL TELEVISON! I’ll sue! I have rights you know!
Riley: I don’t think you’d be able to get to a court, they’re held during the day.
Buffy: You’re a vampire. You don’t have rights. You’re a ruthless killer.
Spike: Not since Farm Boy’s *bleeping* establishment put this *bleeping* thing in my head!
Buffy: Which is a good thing.
Angel: Well said Buffy.
Buffy: (snapping) I don’t need your praise Angel! Go back to your brooding or something!
Riley: Base 1 this is Lilac 1. I repeat, Hostile Subterrestrial 17 is located. Backup now!
Spike: Lilac? What kind of poof name is that?
Suddenly 5 guys in commando outfits come out from literally nowhere and jump Spike, grabbing his arms and twisting them behind him.
Riley: Forrest, right on time!
Forrest: Yes! Somebody get the duct tape for his mouth! We don’t want any fang bites!
Drusilla: Spikey what’s happening?
Riley: She’s one too! Take her!
Some more commandos come to get Drusilla, who shrieks.
Jenny: I’m afraid I have to side with Spike. This is national television, you can’t kidnap him now. But why don’t some of you sit down so we can interview you on your establishment.
Riley: OK. Guys, back off.
All the commandos back off a bit, but stand behind Spike and Drusilla; except for Riley and three others. Forrest who’s tall, dark-skinned, and built, Graham who’s short but muscular, and Professor Maggie Walsh, who’s an average sized woman wearing a lab coat instead of commando garb. Riley sits down next to Angel, Forrest next to him, Graham next to Forrest, and Professor Maggie Walsh next to Graham.
Jenny: Welcome! You run an establishment that experiments and studies on demons and vampires right?
All 4: Yes.
Jenny: Well what is it called?
Forrest: The Initiative. We keep evil in order.
Buffy: Uh, what about me here? Slayer! She who fights that evil on a daily basis!
Riley: Of course Buffy.
They lean in front of Angel and kiss. Angel looks disgusted, angry, and hurt.
Jenny: Well Riley, you’re Buffy’s boyfriend right?
Riley: (slightly blushing) Yeah. (glances at Angel) And I can see why. So this is your troubled past that’s bothering you so bad.
Buffy: Yeah. Guess my secrets’ loose.
Angel: (scoffing) Why would you take him after having the best?
Buffy: (irritated) Second best. (she reaches in front of Angel and takes Riley’s hand) He’s the best.
Spike: Could this get any grosser? I’m tired of seeing your pointless puppy love.
Buffy: Well then don’t watch.
Riley: I can have you gagged, you know.
Spike: Oh shut your bloody mouth. I can say whatever the bloody *bleep* I want to!
Drusilla: You were mean to my Spikey! Miss Edith thinks you’re bad and so do I!
Angel: Miss Edith is a doll, Drusilla. She can’t talk.
Drusilla: (shocked) She can too! She tells me things. About you…about the slayer…about everyone.
Buffy: Live in the present Drusilla.
Spike: Luv, calm down. I’ll get you someone to eat in a little.
Drusilla: (excitedly) Really? A young one?
Spike: Yes. Whoever my Dru wants.
Drusilla sits back, smiling contentedly.
Riley: Oh we can fix that little insanity problem.
Spike: Doubt it. Angel caused it. Anyway, don’t touch my girlfriend, you…
Jenny: (interrupting) Please chill out on the language Spike, OK?
Spike: Sure Jenny.
Jenny: Well I’m sorry but we have to take a break. We’ll be back in a moment with our next guests who are involved in this puzzle.
(cut to commercial)