I ATE A MAIN COURSE OF LL BEANS AND PRODUCED AGUSTA WIND
After the Donut Binge, No Pants Would Fritter"
"The Anchorman Enjoyed His Mounted Device"
You don't have to enjoy David Bowie to be bilingual
I like you to stop in ITT Bar
Everybody wants a piece of the fraction
Remember the a la mode
After reading all night, he gave the bucharest
You got a real beatitude problem
Johnny Walker Redneck
Always wear a condiment
Help help me Rwanda
Time to stop and smell Gennifer Flowers
Thanks for flying with us; we're in a nosedive
Pope beat the Bishop Every day in the Pope's rec Room
And the Viet-Naminees are...
It's like to teach the world to sing, and kill them
Walker, scandinavian ranger, starring Chuck Norse
A latvia to be desired
Favorite actress is Holly Junta
Your gas is as good as mine
Look at the cantatas on that singer
Venus Envy
If the price of stamps goes up, keep my posted.
Touch him with a 15 foot Pole
Bookmark my passages
Judah Man!
"Prussia: When Russia Went P"
"Pork Chops and Fiona Apple sauce"
Running off at the Mafia
Dublin over in pain
Girls toys that don't need batteries
Issac worked his Asimov
He Fritz me like a glove
The Young and the Nestless
Kansas Songs besides "Dust in the Wind"
My Five Day Forecast shows a rain of frogs
Mr. Bean there, done that
F words we can say on TV
The Gyro of Living Dangerously
The Prostate of the Union
Bugs you may find in your cotton briefs
Don't belief anything that hotel you
If you could just ironman, then I'd marry you
Just when I was getting used to the Old Zealand
Sexual politics: a subject I'm on top of
A stitch in time tends to mess up your watch
I found my thrill on Blueberry Hillbilly
Minerals B simple, Vitamins B complex
Art Deco Cards
"Another Blanking Category the Blanking Producer Wanted Me to Blanking Write"
"Ben Stein Doesn't Make Mastakes"
"Bible Quotes, Now in Virtuous Reality"
"Birds Bigger Than a Kiwi's Wee-wee"
"Birth Control to Major Tom"
"Bunyan Rings"
"Celtic Records Not Involving Larry Bird"
"A Cushy Date With a Well-Upholstered Quess"
"De-million to One"
"Do the Orthodox Jamaicans Dread Lox?"
"Farm Parties That Don't Include the Pie-Sitting Contest"
"French Roamin' Countrymen, Lend Me Your Iroqouis"
"Get up off Your Dionysius"
"Greco-Roman Wrestling with the Meaning of Life"
"The Grisham that Stole Christmas"
"Guys Who Made it to Third Base with Wade Boggs"
"Heidi Fleiss and Her Performing Horehound"
"Henry VIII, Now There's a Guy Who Had a Solution to Alimony"
"Humpback to Where You Belong"
"I am Not an Animal, I Repeat, I am Elephant Man"
"If at Physicist You Don't Succeed, Sue the B******s!
"I Have a Thorax From Chopping Wood"
"I Hear the Bathrooms in Las Vegas are Big Enough for Craps"
"I Just Passed a Dogberry and Boy was it Painful"
"I Left My Charter in San Francisco"
"I Like the Night Life, I Like to Bookie"
"I Lost 25 cents on the Quarter Horse"
"I've Heard Enough About Art's Movements"
"I've Seen Fire and I've Seen Lorraine"
"If at First You Don't Secede, Try Try Again"
"If You'll Excuse Me, My Wife is Dressing at Hidden Valley Ranch"
"The International House of Pain Cakes"
"Blimps that don't host daytime talk shows"
"You only herd the one you love"
"Touched by an Angelou"
"Do you tsetse what I tsetse?"
Other parts of the matzoh that are edible, besides the balls"
"Francisco, would you please examiner?"
"A Portrait of the artist as a young mannequin"
"Despite an all cheese diet, the gambler still Crapped out"
"Out in the woods I learned I wasn't as large as Spruce"
"If you don't shut up, you're gonna get hittite"
"Whod'a a thunk funk thunk it?"
"I've been workin' on the whale-road"
"I'd like to try one of these whore'd'eouvres"
"Bani-sadr but wiser"
"Alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other stocking stuffers"
"Jack be nimbus, jack be quick"
"Noble gases not emitted by the queen mum"
"Landscaped Crusaders"
"Members of the Mile Deep Club"
"The Miseducation of Capitol Hill"
"More Stiffs in Washington, D.C."
"Mosquito Bite Me"
"My Kosher Pool Needs a New Gefilte"
"Nam That Tune"
"A New Leash on Life"
"Nine Inch Snails"
"Nobody Move, This Plane is Going to Cuba Gooding, Jr."
"Nyet Another Russian Disaster"
"Oh, Wouldn't it be Rubberly"
"On the Origin of the Feces"
"Onward Christian Slater"
"Politicians That Put the 'Idiot' in Idiot Box"
"Prison Sentences Other Than 'You Dropped Your Soap' "
"Proof that Republicans and Democrats Have No Original Ideas"
"Ready or Astronaut, Here I Come"
"Regarding the Electric Chair, He's Got My Volt"
"She's a MIR Lass"
"Singin' in Bahrain"
"The Sound of Slow Hand Clapton"
"Things Almost as Short as Shannen Doherty's Marriages"
"Things Denser Than Your Teenager"
"Things that Flat-topped Frenchmen Wear on Their Heads"
"Veracruzin' for a Bruzin' "
"Waiter, There's a Jew in My Soup"
"Warp Factor Six, Mr. Shaka Zulu"
"Way Down Upon the Swami River"
"We're on Emission from God"
"When the Scotsman Bent Over, I Could See His Fin"
"When You're 14, Every Day is Palm Sunday"
"Where the H*** are we Now?"
"The Whiffenpoofs and Other Lousy Names for Your Street Gang"
"Wigs You Won't Find on Burt Reynolds"
"The Womanizer Battery Just Keeps Groping and Groping and Groping..."
Bourbon Street strip club
Show me your cookies, little girl
Living in New Jersey makes me irregular
Pope on a rope
The Wizard of Osmosis
What in San Juan Hill is going on here?
To Wong Foos don't make a white
For whom the bell toads
A V-P who almost put in an 8 hour day
I'm going to chant while the Pope disseminates
Can you go to the store and buy me a box of crampons?
After every meal, the King enjoyed throne up
The thin red line is for the loading and unloading of bodybags only
If you Acme a question, it'll take me a Wile E. to answer
My math teacher sent me a Western Union parallelogram
Men you don't want to refer to as "Nancy"
"All that Jurass" directed by Bob Fossil
See youse latah, navagatah
Come here baby; it's time for some hot, sweaty oven
All work and all plague makes Jack a dead boy
Long Polish names not heard on NYPD Blue
Little Princes who don't wear Ass-less Jeans
This is where Napoleon tore his Bonaparte
Hey, Wanna Pizza This?
It's the great patempkin, Charlie Brown!
Out on the back 40, Farmer Bob had a nice movement
Wrap your hands around my mast
Felonius Monks
The High Costner of Making Bad Movies
Freud Green Tomatoes
Hey Hey Mammals, Said the way they Move
Botha You be Quiet
Things that Can Stay Moist for 12 Hours
Castles not Inhabited by Dysfunctional Families
Two Guys Walk into Babar
The Worst Case of the Runs in History
The Sheep's Computer had Plenty of RAM
Crazy Little Thing Called Luftwaffe
The Non-Separation of Church and State
She's Not Weaving Until it's Clothing Time
Call in the Voice Squad
I'll Have the Titanic Salad, Heavy on the Iceberg
The People's Nutcourt
Stop, Look, Abolition
Giving Up Your Belly Button for Lint
One Look at the Sheer Size of My Telescope, and She Saw Stars
Benihana Stein
Doctor, My Browing Came out Blue
Holy Gothic City
If you Seaweed You Like, Help Yourself
Band News: You've Got a Malignant Tuba
The Speaker of the Horse
No Need to Make Such a Fosse
Italian Loafers Not in the Vatican
Bend Over Me Until I'm Loopy
10,000 Romaniacs
Who's Been Sleeping in my Epcot?
Lines Not Done by Gary Busey
I Only Get my Shofar Blown Twice a Year
Alanis Marmoset
Drivin it Home at Promontory Point
Till My Soil, You Dirty Hoe!
I Lava Parade
Don't Apse, Don't Tell
After I inserted My Piano Roll, I found the W. C. Handy
She Likes Pressing Hispanic Button
The King's Scot a Dress on
Pudding Words into your Mouth
Robert Uric Acid
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Other than All of Them
It's Ukraining Men, Hallelujah!
And on your Left, You'll See People Bursting Into Flames
The Old Lady Kept a Jar of Ancient Greece Under the Sink
Wake Me Up Before Rococo
Love Me Legal Tender
Quit Bleeding Down My Neck
Ready or Astronaut, Here I come
More Stiffs in Washington D.C.
Get up off your Dionysus
Things almost as Short as Shannen Doherty's Marriages
Way Down upon the Swami River
Knick Knack Kerouac, Give the Dog a Bone
A Brew in the Hand is Worth Two in the Busch
I Have an Urge to Pork My Pancakes
She Wears Earhart on her Sleeve
You Don't Know Jackalope
Eye of the Needlework
Badgers! We don't Need No Stinking Badgers!
Man of La Monster
Electronic Brains Other than Ben's
That Peasant Girl Gives me a Hardy
Go Straight to Hell, then Take the First Left
Daylight Come and Rwanda Go Home
French Cures for the Common Cold War
Men Who are Pirouette Behind the Ears
One Swing of the Pickaxe and She Made Louis Leakey
Help Stamp out the Mail Race
Even though you B-Flat, we can still make beautiful music together
Elmer Fudd was consumed by woad wage
Uma Thurman Munster
The Rhoda Less Traveled
After the 60s the head shop stopped woodstocking the hippie lamps
After the voyage, I borrowed the Pilgrim's Mayflower Compact
My sister went to school at Basket Case Western University
Polly wanna crack ho?
Just because I slept with my math teacher doesn't mean I have no numerical values
Cinnamon Paradiso
Can't you get your pastel your 1st impression?
After ruining millions of lives, the cigarette company admitted it made a nico-teeny mistake
Hey, il-duce bag
They're having a sale on seizures at the Grand Mal
Mr. Speaker, please pick up your Presidential Ticket at the Delegate
When the lead mountain climber had to relieve himself, the rest of us got piton
I may be Newsweekling, but periodically I take a magazine stand
Got Milne?
The German Playwright washes his hair in Brecht shampoo
Going down in history with Monica Lewinsky
He just went to the party to be Socialist
I've got a run in my Panty Jose
The Basketball Player's Shooting Percentage was all in vein
Gigantic Explosions not caused by Olestra Potato Chips
Farouk, Farouk, Farouk is on Fire
My Chair-y Amour
Auto Injuries more severe than having your girlfriend throw your rod
I know this category like tobacco my hand
Honey, around here your bird is legendary
If you don't stop elsinore-ing, I'm sleeping in the den
I gave at the Orpheus
The short list of heterosexual female golfers
There's something about the Virgin Mary
1995- the year the South finally entered the 19th century
White dwarves other than Billy Barty
Four letter words for a 12-inch column
Look at the Dam Boulders on her
Uri Bends Spoons with his mind, but try getting him to wash a dish
That author's just a Thomas Wolfe in sheep's clothing
Pickled Green Italians other than Drunk Uncle Luigi in a rowboat
The lawyer had marequesas than he could handle
Iacocca Cranked it Every Morning
Watch out for Macao Patties
Au Pair Winfrey
Eat Schist and Die
Other things that make guys go Blind
Because I was walking funny, the doctor made me wear an asteroid belt
Gaucho- the South American Marx Brother
Cosi's fan made her cover her Tuttis
I don't believe in the sandinista bunny
Where's Zubin all my life?
Jake and the Fathom: Underwater Detectives
Things that you can't buy at Mahal
Back to the Suture
Afghanistan by your man
Breakfast ant Epiphany's
Vibrators that Don't require batteries
Pen names other than BIC
Gulf Car Syndrome
Chocolate Factories other than Willy Wonka's
Hoop! There it is!
Josephine Baker's Dozen
So, Did you Pop the Equestrian?
You Habanera About you, Dear
Going on a Likud Diet
Just an old Fascist Love Song
People in the 1800s with nothing to do
Rats named Ben who Michael Jackson didn't sing to
Chestnuts Who don't read Playboy
Tonto cooks on a Masabi Range
I'm sick and tired of Potsdam Conference Calls
Wherever you go, Iago
Chicago, Chicago, that Clobbering Town
People who may have worked under the President
Topless bathing suits and other great 20th Century Inventions
That's one small leap for a man in a tutu
My Parents went to a Scottish Star Trek Convention and all I got was this lousy Tam O' Shanter
Things that fall faster than ben at Nixon's Resignation Speech
The Scottish Lass wore a Plaided Bra
Would it kilt you to put on some underwear?
When Sister Mary-Nara Got VD, she was known as Chlymidia Jane
The Production of "The Elephant Man" Played to a Pachyderm'd House
The Crooked Chemist Got Paid under th Periodic Table
While Lost in the Pacific, I had a Reef Affair with Marine O'Hara
Stuff Boys Read without a Jar of Vaseline and a Flashlight
I'd Paint better if Jew Would stop Russian Me
To Torture the Prisoner, the People started a Disemboweling Movement
Sopranos You Won't See Getting Whacked on HBO
The Scotsman ate Freshwater fish with Tartan Sauce
Did I Happen Dementia I'm mentally Ill?
The Detective sat in the bath too long and ended up with a Hard-boiled dick
I couldn't afford to own a dog, so I leashed one
He took that Scotch girl on a Date to the single malt shop
Put that in your bagpipe and smoke it
Peat was my favorite character on "The Moss Squad
Jacques Strap Cousteau
ZZ Topping the Charts
Phi-Beta Cappucino
Inter-Stellar Overdrive
It's My Party and I'll Burp if I want to
Animals with Mohair than Ed Asner
22 Guys Looking to Score
Holier than Mao
The Butcher, the Baker, the Eyelash Caker
I like Pictures of Gurley Men
I Remember Moma
One DeToqueville Over the Line
Soviet Bloc Heads
Pomp You Up
Famous Editors and their Boobs
Cell Mates who won't kill you
Montezuma went to College at AZ-Tech
When I rang the Preacher's Chimes, I Heard Norman Vincent Peale
Relax, Don't be Nevis
Get Your Lyonnaise out of My House
And you Thought Trekkies were Losers
Fun Day, Bloody Fun Day
Popping Pillboxes with Jackie Onassis
Hey, I can see My House Vermeer
Members of Congress who Didn't Harrass their Secretaries
Mama Don't Take My Chromosomes Away
The Surrey with the Festival on Top
Two Rhones Don't Make a Right
Walking the Plankton
Wanna Pluck My G-String?
This Malaproperty is Condemned
The Acid Tongue of Timothy Leary
The Smell of Oxen Makes Me Yak
Newspapers God Reads in the John
Giving the Middle Finger Lakes
Apple Turnovertures
Name that Tune, with your Host, Adolf Hitler
A Little B & D is worth More than Some S & M
Tweedy and Sylvester
Red Spots not found on your Teenager's Face
The Most Primitive Animal on Earth, Besides Mike Tyson
Communist Party Favors
I've Got Swelling in the "Hot Zone"
When the Dutch Came to America, they left the Dikes at Home
Dude, I forgot why they Stripped Me
Nuclear Regulatory Commissions that Don't Involve Ben's Gastroenterology
The Hoaxes With the Mostest
Dialing for Dullards
Thongs that Don't Ride up your You-know-what
St. George of the Jungle
Fat Tuesday makes Hump Wednesday all the more difficult
Battle Boys, Battle Boys, Whatcha' Gonna Do?
I Wouldn't Sit on that Icicle, but Stalagmite
Root Root Root for the Vegetable Team
Check out the Unit on that Physicist
Come Heller High Water
Me and Julio Down by the Juliard
That's the Pataki-est Governors' office I've ever seen
If I Caesar, I'll Tell Her
The Wrath of Khane
Executive Orders Not Involving Burgers and Fries
Spread 'em While I Read You Your Rites
She Flipped Me the Lady Bird
Pick up the Milk Andropov the Laundry
Men Especially Known for their Shafts
Flower Power to the People
Who's Kidman Who?
You Got Pooh on Your Shoe
Getting Inuit With your Spouse
It gets Eight Dinosaurs to the Gallon
I've got the 600 Mile Runs
When the Sun is low, put down Divisor
We All Live in a U-Boat Submarine
Regurgitators You won't find in Fashion Magazines
The 1968 Democratic National Confusion
Crashing Boers other than Ben
Not To be Crude, But I Just Stepped in a Load of Black Goo
Doctor, It Hearst When I do This
Tequila Mockingbird
Gimme all the Money you Have, Vanya
Give Your Cold Vastness of Space to "Contact"
Rice that Takes 4 Years
When the Show's Over, Can I have my Hunchback?
I'm Freezing My Weinerschnitzel off
Alexander Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds
Kindly Keep your Dickens out of My Eggnog
Things Flatter than Roadkill
Smelling Salt-n-Pepa
If you're Seasick, Grab a barge Bag
Son of a Ditch
Classic Concentration Camp
Stand by your Manet
Come to Papadopoulous
After his job with the Florist, they Called him Sweet William
That Guy's a Real Knot Job
The Newlyweb Game
I Cringed when my Pick got Stuck in my Zither
When I picked up the Confederate Soap, I felt a little Dixie
Foghorns that Served in the Senate
Hitting the Snail on the Head
Hussein in the Membrane
Hey, Crop Dust Breath
It Takes a Catholic'n and Keeps on Tickin'
The Toltec Free Number is 1-800-mesoamerica
Quatrain Spotting
Pac-Man Fever Blisters
Bunderstag, You're it!
High Grossing Tommy Lee Videos not Starring Pamela Anderson
The Whiffenpoofs and other lousy names for your gang
Naked Lunch Meat
Edna Ferber-ger
One of the Few Things that Have Sunk Lower than Jimmy Kimmel
Opera Been Verdi Verdi Good to Me
Live on Pray-per-view
All we are saying is give War and Peace a Chance
Chew Must Remember This
No use beating a Dead Language
Good Fencing Makes Good Neighbors
Guys with 200-year old pants
Murphy Brown Nose
Ho Ho Hos who Don't Work the Las Vegas Strip
Papa's Got a Brand new Colostomy Bag
A 1.2 Billion Mile Road Trip without a Decent Restroom
Entire Countries Kitty Kelly Has Ticked off
Ladies Call it the Eiffel Tower, I just call it "Mr. Happy"
Spilling the Jacobeans
Behind the Green Tandoor
Don't Give Me any Gallipolli
Roulette My People Go
A Recurring Case of the Runs
Bernie Goetz Your Gun
Scraping up Rodeo Kill
National Parks that Give use Redwood
Casting Pearl Jam befire Swine
Zip-a-dee Buddha, Zip-a-dee-ay
Win Ben Stein's Pants
An Eye for an I, Claudius
17th Century Shopping Centers
Sorry I Mythed You
The James Caanes Film Festival
The Czechs in the Mail
Losing my Red Lesions
Way before you could get *69'd
Ol' Dirty Bastards not found in the Wu-Tang Clan
Making a Franz Liszt, Checking it Twice
Throw Muammar from the Train
Rivers Less Obnoxious than Joan
The Most Artistic Way to Mount the French
The only Good thing named Detroit
What kind of Serial Killer would you Like for Breakfast?
This Kangaroo Court is in Rhesus
I am the Egg White Man
Things that Don't Grow During Sex
You're Sulking in it Now
The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Vibrations
I Don't Give a Rat's Mouth
The First Use of Presidential Knee Pads
The Slaves in Chains Stay Mainly on the Train
Another Kubrick in the Wall
Big Zeros You Haven't Dated
Rotten to the Korea
White Guys in the MBA
Hey, Can I Bum a Cygnet?
I Wouldn't be caught dead wearing Minke
From Ear to Eternity
With Friends like these, Who needs enemas?
Are you my mom, or am I just doing really well with you?
Sorry, but my jockey's riding up on me
I ate 14 Carats and now I'm passing Golden Nuggets
And you thought Running in Heels was tough
Slow and steady wins the Wraith
Don't Know Mush about Alaska
Before Women had Chicken Wings
Revenge of the Nerves
Thou Shalt not commit A-Daltrey
Measuring your Wiki-wiki with a Haw Ruler
Other Instruments the Spice Girls Don't Play
In his new Archery Book, William Tells All
That wild hare Tortoise a Lesson
Got a Whole Lotto Love
You Can't Teach an old God New Tricks
Animals you could use for Acupuncture
The Wedding was so cheap, they sold Pachelbel's burrito supreme
Wag the Dogma
Historic Monkey Bites
I went to the Plastic Surgeon's Office and Picked my nose
That Goodrich Guy is full of B. F.
My Hairy Mother Howls at the Moon
Getting a Good Shag at the Carpet Store
Fondue Me
Let's Go for Brogue
Gimme a bowl of that Atlantic Clam Charter
If Larry and Curly Don't Know, Eskimo
Madison Savage Garden
A Midsummer Night’s Dream Team
A Few Gentlemen of Villanova
The Merchants of Dennis
As You Hike It
Comedy of ERAs
Davis Love’s Labours Lost
The Taming of the Drew
Apocalypse Now or Later
Wonder Light-Years
Smells Like Pre-Teen Spirit
Party of 12 Angry Men
Andrew Lloyd Websurfer
Battling Depression and Fire Spitting Dogs from Hell
After Taxes, you’re lucky to get a Quarter Back
Master Keynes
McAdoo about Nothing
The Russians are Glowing, the Russians are Glowing
You Know it’s a Close Shave if you Cut off your Head
Flightless Birds Other Than Valu-Jet
Weasel the People of the United States
Foreign Tongues not found in Enrique Iglesias’ Mouth
Early Tibet, Early to Rise
Comic Strip Searches
She Took One Look at my Bat and Called Me “Wonderboy”
At Gerald Ford, Quality is Number 2
Nothing gets between my John and his Calvin
The Hell with Natural Childbirth, I want Drugs!
That’s the Sound of Kids working on the Chain Stone
Lights, Camera, Auction
Wine Cooler Heads Prevailed
Washington Cities Just a Shot Away from Kurt Cobain’s Home Town
Things that Make Your Butt Stick Out
Kate and Alimony
Get some Protection, the British are Coming
Amsterdam you all to Hell
Other Body Parts you can Drink with
Toupee, or not Toupee, that is the Question
I’d Like to bite Your Tail
Mutton’s Going on at the White House
I’m Taking off my Lederhosen, and Baron Mein Hosen
FAMOUS ASIAN RAPPERS OTHER THAN NOTORIOUS MSG
I CAME, I SAW, I CONGA-ED
I REMEMBER WHEN BILL WAS JUST A CLINT IN HIS DAD’S EYE
THE ITALIAN FASHION DESIGNER WAS ARMANI AND DANGEROUS
HILLARY TOLD THE BARTENDER TO BRING HER A SUBURBAN MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS
THE ASTRONOMER’S FAVORITE FILM WAS “ATMOSPHERE AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS”
ANIMALS THAT HAVE WON MORE WAR MEDALS THAN BILL CLINTON
THE PHEASANT-ELECT TOOK RESIDENCE IN THE NEST WING
AS HE UNDID HIS CORN BELT, I WAS AMAZED BY THE SIZE OF HIS COB
HIS WRITER’S CRAMP WAS SO BAD HE NEEDED AUTHOR-OSCOPIC SURGERY
LOWER HOUSE IS A VERY VERY VERY FINE HOUSE
The kiln operator went from smoking pot to driving the porcelain bus
Our most patriotic president was J. F. Cake
Things that Shepards crave at night besides Baa-dy heat
We will sell no equine before its time
NY Death Penalties other than having to live north of 95th st.
The flat-chested pharmacist had Trouble filling her prescription
Washington Monuments that aren't phallic
Get your lying, cheating, political ass out of here!
Political Longshots not taken to impress Jodie Foster
Wooden Washington's teeth look better in an oak pattern?
The athlete said to his wife, "Honey, that thing's been in a hot cup all day!"
I'm naked and you call that a python?
To get in the S & M club, you have to sign an oath of orifice
The Mafia web site always gets the most hits
Conning that French guy was easy as un, duped, trois
There was a cell-out at the Amoeba McIntyre concert last night
The LA Riot Force offers On-the-mob training
The well decorated general suffered from epaulet-sy
The conservative schools teach reading, right-wing, and 'rithmatic
King Henry lives tudors down
Finch me, I must be dreaming
The bovine addict was known as a Krakow
A minute with Mickey Rooney, next on 60 Inches
The Nicaraguan was a contestant on Truce or Contra-quences
Moses kept a close eye on his prophet-loss statements
What makes an Ornithologist orni?
The Rockefeller Files
16h century astronomers the Earth Revolved around
Cheesy Danish Literature
Get off your Flying Buttress and build me a church
Nightmare on Sesame Street
Excellent Drivers other than Rain Man
The I.V. League
No, the answer is not Burrito Day
The Forbidden Fruitcake
Just the Smell of Baking Gives me a High-rise
The Kitty Dukakis Guide to Feline Disease
The Day of the Dauphin
I think its time to change my indies
Your love keeps lifting me Heidegger and Heidegger
Other things Jewish people have snipped off
Big Game Fishing for Marlon Brando
F-Stop in the Name of Love
One Frankfurter that stood for something
Rocksand, you don't have to turn on the red light
I ride derails, derfore I amtrak
How food giants get their jollies
I'll have the red, white and blue palette special
I'm betting $100 on the next centerfold, what's the spread?
After eating Earthquaker oats, I felt the Big One
Things that contain silicone besides Pamela Anderson's hacky sack
The insurance agents' baby was born Premium-ature
The oversexed Sea Captain made the Ensign Playmate until he could land-ho
I lost the ripped up picture of the Pope so the singer tore me a new one
The middle eastern sex bomb had a nice Iraq
The motorist knew he was in trouble when he saw the LAPD show up in Black and Blue
Aspirin, CO has a childproof capital
The Librarian was stacked and microfisching for compliments
Tennessee Williams picked up Play boys at Auditions
Now Look What You've Dung
The Time-Life Guide to Capitalist Pigs
Gimme my eggs over Zambezi
Dolly Parton the Red Sea
Other things you can get busted for rolling
Quit staring at my big dipper
Ted Kaczynski, Hermit Crab
Depressed French Hookers make Les Miserables
The compute to work was rough, so I put it in disk drive
A couple of royal pains in the house
Milwaukee-taukee
Wanna see a picture of my Zester Un-Tressing?
Mark Fermentation
I've Got a Loverly bunch of Iacocca's Nuts
Oklahomies
If your Lab Toilet is stopped up, ask for Rodent Rooter
Two tickets to Paradox
When the Fiddler gets stimulated, you can see his bow rosin
Your name is up on the Marquis, de Sade
Folks who have been trapped on an island Formosa their lives
Other things laid by the Cable Guy
The Tomb of the Unknown Jackass
I'd like a woman in Capsule Form
What kind of Fowl am I?
The Kinky Docent gave the Egyptian Bust a Nefertiti Twister
After the negotiations ended, I said "Labor, Dude"
Quien es mas nachos?
We were going to do it doggystyle, so I got some K-9 jelly
The Alien lost Trek of Time because he was in a state of Spock
Because I didn't give her a big enough engagement ring, we got into a big Tiffany
Le chef went a little fast in his new Borscht
When Napoleon had to make water, he skipped to the Loo
At the Presidential Inauguration, they played "Hail to the Cheat"
Romeo and Julienned
The Ad Exec got so excited he had thirty-second spots on his pate
When I came in late, the choir teacher threw a tempo tantrum
The Naughty swimmer got his medal taken away for having Buster Crabbes
Erosencrantz and Guildenstern are Deadwood
Melissa was Etheridged for my Pleasure
Whale-sted away to Mel-ville
Irregular Profiles besides "E!s A Day in the life OF BEN'S COLON."
THE EXPLORERS ENJOYED LISTENING TO FRANK SUMATRA ALBUMS
I'VE ENTRUSTED MY NEST EGG TO CHARLES SQUAB
A PERSEPHONE THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE GREEK FORUM
THE GROUPIE WANTED TO HOP IN THE ZAC DE LA ROCHA WITH THE LEAD SINGER
TO ENTERTAIN THE HOSTAGES, THE MILITANTS BROUGHT IN SID SEIZURE
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, THE MICROBIOLOGIST ATE A GERM CHOCOLATE CAKE
JAMES GOT HARD AS A ROCKFORD WHEN HIS WIFE PUT ON A GARNER BELT
THE ADDICTED FARMER JOINED ALFALFA-HOLICS ANONYMOUS
THAT BRITISH PRIME MINISTER SURE HAS HER UPS AND DOWNING STREETS
HER RELATIONSHIP ENDED BECAUSE SHE WAS SEW NEEDLE-Y
THE CHRONICALLY TARDY SUPERMODEL HAD AN AGELESS BODY AND A TIMELESS MIND
WHEN I LOOKED UNDER HIS ROBE, THE POPE HAD NO ST. PETER
THE RUSSIAN PIANIST PLAYED SLIGHTLY OFF KIEV
MY MUSCLES FEEL SORE, WHETHER I WORK OUT OR KNOT
MASTERS NOT TRYING TO GET INTO JEANNIE'S HAREM PANTS
PEOLE YOU'LL FIND ON "PLANET OF THE APES" BESIDES ROBIN WILLIAMS
MY FAVORITE CANADIAN PERIODICAL IS US EH TODAY
SODA ITALIAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A GIN AND TONY
COLLEGES WHERE YOU TAKE YOUR TESTS WITH A #2 PENNSYLVANIA
AT SMUTS INTL AIRPORT, YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN BAG AND GET OFF
HE INVITED ME UP TO HIS KEYPAD BUT HE WASN'T MY TELETYPE
THE RED HOT ACHILLES PEPPERS
PLEASED TO METEOROLOGY, HOPE YOU GUESSED MY NAME
IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE VURST OF TIMES
YOU'VE GOT A BIG RIPKEN IN YOUR PANTS
LEGGO MY ARCHIPELAGO
ODDER COUPLES BESIDES MICHAEL JACKSON AND, WELL, ANYONE
HUMPING THE MOST POWERFUL LEG IN THE FREE WORLD
HONEY I ATE THE KIDS
I JUST STEPPED IN A PUDDLE OF SCHIST
CREOLE LANG SYNE
BANKS THAT CHARLES KEATING DIDN'T BRING DOWN
MAD COWS AND ENGLISHMEN GO OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN
MOVIES ON THE JAMES DEAN'S LIST
TIED UP IN NAZIS
FAMOUS DYLANS WHO COULD CARRY A TUNE
MY ORCHESTRA IS THE PITS
I'M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT I ACT LIKE ONE ANYWAY
A PAIN IN THE ANISE
JUAN DE FUCA YOU
BALLET MISERABLES
YOU'VE GOT LIPSTICK ON YOUR CHOLERA
I'M A LITTLE POL POT, SHORT AND STOUT
THREE SHEIKS TO THE WIND
VIVA LES CHEESEHEADS
PRESIDENTS WHO CAN KICK YOUR ASS
JUST HOW LOW CAN A LAWYER GO?
PETER PANS NOT FOUND IN A HOSPITAL
WHERE'S BALDO?
THE FULL MONTE CARLO
I WANT A LOVER WITH A SLOW COOKER
THINGS THAT TAPER TO A POINT, OTHER THAN BEN'S HEAD
THE MEIN-KAMPF FIRE GIRLS
GET YOUR DOG'S NOSE OUT OF MY KARACHI
SUPER MARIO CUOMO BROTHERS
ANOTHER SAP FROM VERMONT
ZAMFIR, MASTER OF THE PANCREAS FIRE
YOU HAVE TO PAY TO LICK MY FACE
HONEY, I SWEAR I DON'T HAVE HERMES
A BRIDGE TO FARFALLE
STIFFLY BEATEN WHITE THINGS OTHER THAN GERRY CLOONEY
FIRST I GOT POTTED THEN I TURNED RED, PINK AND WHITE
IT'S NOT EXACTLY SUPREME, BUT I'LL SIT ON IT ANYWAY
IN THE BEAUTY CONTEST, IMELDA'S A SHOE-IN
BEFORE KILLING HIS WIFE, THE HUSBAND TOOK OUT A PLOTS
YOU WANNA MEGA LOVE WITH ME?
I LET HIM FEEL THE OUTSIDE OF MY PANTS, BUT HE HAD INTERIOR DESIGN
MEIN FRAULEIN DAS BARFERGNUGEN
WHY DON'T YOU DO WHEN YOU DIDDLE WHAT YOU DIDDLED TO ME?
WHEN i USED THE WRONG FORK, SHE GOT EMILY POST-AL
THRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME
PRESIDIO, QUEEN OF THE DESERT
TERMINALS OF ENGINEERMENT
ALONE BEHIND HIS DESK, THE STENOGRAPHER ADJUSTED HIS TWELVE-INCH COLUMN
I WANT MY BIG BALLS NEXT TO YOUR LITTLE ONES
YOU CALL IT SOUTHERN SCULPTURE, I CALL IT A PILE OF REBEL
HEY GRANDMA, I CAN SEE YOUR TRIANGLE
ON THE SEVENTH DAY, GOD CREATED A POLITICAL CONSULTING FIRM
AND THEN THERE'S MAUVE
CELLO KITTY
I'VE BEEN SITTING IN A GREASY SPOON SO LONG I'VE GOT DINER SORES
IF I HAD A HAMMER, I'D BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EVERY FOLKSINGER
THE BRIDESMAID OF FRANKENSTEIN
CHAY CHAY CHAIN OF FOODS
THER'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A CACTUS
POPLE WHO'S SUCCESS IS A MYSTERY, OTHER THAN CELINE DION
THAT GUY'S PRETTY SYMBOL MINDED
I THOUGHT THE PLAY WAS GOING WELL UNTIL THE ACTOR SHED HIS PANTS
RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS ALWAYS GET ME OFF
KENYA FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?
THE ANCIENT ROMAN'S BODY WAS COVERED IN LEGIONS
THE METAPHYSICAL ESCORT SERVICE HAS A BUNCH OF FINE AURAS
WEST VIRGINIA: THE STATE THAT TIME FORGOT
ELEVATOR MUSIC PUSHES ALL THE WRONG BUTTONS
DOT'S THE WAY, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, I LIKE IT
WHEN SCULPTING IN THE NUDE BE CAREFUL WHEN CARVING THE BALZAC
WHALIN' JENNINGS
EUROPEAN ON THE FIRE, BUT IT'S NOT GOING OUT
THAT RED SHIRT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A SICILY
HE'S A NICE GUY, BUT HE'S KIND OF A LECHEE
PLACES WITH LOTS OF SAND OTHER THAN YOUR BATHING SUIT
THE PLEISTOCENE OF THE CRIME
THE CHRISTIAN BEHIND DIOR #3
MIRA MIRA SORVINO ON THE WALL
SHE GAVE ME A MAJOR WOODROW WILSON
POLITICAL INDISCRETIONS NOT INVOLVING THE KENNEDYS
I'VE GOT A STAIN ON MAI TAI
YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN, YETI
FRANKLY MARIAH, I DON'T CAREY
A PYNCHON YOUR NETHER REGIONS
EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN HELSINKI
SKIP TO MY LUCCI
ANTHONY QUINN, MEDICINE WOMAN
OUCH! THAT HERZEGOVINA
THE HOSE OF 7 GERBLES
BREAOUTS OTHER THAN THE BALL VARIETY
ANOTHER UNIQUE SUGGESTION FOR THE USE OF YOUR BELLY BUTTON
BATTLESTAR SCHOLASTICA
HAL ROACH LIPS
I'M AN OLD COW GLAND
PEOPLE WHO LIKE BEING IRREGULAR
IS THAT COLOGNE OR DID YOU JUST JUMP IN THE RIVER?
PICASSON WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND TOOK AN ART MOVEMENT
SWEET THINGS NOT WAITING FOR BEN BACKSTAGE
EDGAR ALLAN POLO
IT'S AS PLAIN AS THE VOLCANOES ON YOUR FACE
TO HONOR THAT REBEL'S BIRTH I STAY AT HOME AND YANKEE
SURGERY MENDEZ AND BRAZIL SIXTY-SIX
YOU'RE M-16, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU'RE MINE
I TRIED TO STUFF HER BALLOT BOX AND GOT KICKED IN THE POLLING PLACE
POEM ANOTHER DRINK, BARD-TENDER
MY AZZ IZ ZO ZORRO
DOES YOUR EWING GUM LOSE ITS FLAVOR ON SUE ELLEN OVERNIGHT?
THE HUNCHBACK-ALBINO-DWARF-BOOK-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB
SARDINIA BLOW YOUR MIND THIS TIME?
THE PATRON SAINT OF WIN BEN STEIN'S MONEY
GERMAN MARCHES NOT INVOLVING NAZI BASTARDS
SHE WOULDN'T TOUCH MY DECK BECAUSE SHE WAS RETAINING WATER
I'LL GET DOWN ON MY SNEEZE AND PRAY WE DON'T GET DROOLED AGAIN
WOMAN PRESIDENTS OTHER THAN HILLARY
CYCLONE KILLER, QU'EST-CE-C'EST
I WALKED OUT ON STAR WARS, AND YODA REASON WHY
THE HIP HOP SCULPTOR TRIED TO MOVE A BUST
PIANISTS WHO ARE SCARTZO-PHRENIC
HEY MEATHEAD, YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WIENER!
WHEN IT COMES TO LABOR LEADERS, MEANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE PICKETED
AFTER THE PORNO ACTRESS BLEW SEVEN TAKES, THEY CALLED IN THE HEAD COACH
THE NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL ALWAYS WORE THE GREATEST FISSIONS
THEY PUT THE SPARROW-TIRE ON MY T-BIRD
WHAT'S MY TEMPERATURE? I CAN'T RECTAL-LECT
WILLY LAWMAN IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN "DEATH OF A G-MAN"
THE PRICES ON THESE TOWELS ARE ABORBENT-ENT
ALICE'S FAVORITE SHOW WAS "THE WONDERLAND YEARS"
HAVE YOU DRIVEN A HARRISON FORD LATELY?
JULIE ANDREWS TOOK OFF HER BRA AND I SAW MARY'S POPPINS
HE LEFT HIS JOB AS A CHIROPRACTOR TO BECOME A LUMBAR-JACK
YOU CAN RUM BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, BEN STEIN IS A REAL KINKAJOU
DURING HALFTIME AT THE ROSARY BOWL, WE WENT TO THE CONFESSION STAND
THE BRIDGEMAKER HAD A SHORT TENSION SPAN
"TIMEX IS ON MY SIDE" BY THE ROLEX STONES
I TRIED TO REMAIN.COM DURING SEXUAL INTERNET-COURSE
THE TROUBADOR LOOKED LIKE A BALLADEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS
REARRANGING OF LETTERS NO BY MY MOM AFTER SHE STEAMED THEM OPEN
FEATS OF KLEE
BONED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELON
THAT BUGSY HAS A LONG GANGSTA RAP SHEET
ANOTHER FALCON QUESTION ABOUT AUTHORS
THE SUPREME COURT JUSTICE WARRENED ME ABOUT THAT
WHEN THE HOUSTON AUTHORITIES CAUGHT ME, I TOLD THEM TO KISH MY ASS
THINGS THAT SHIMMY MORE THAN YOUR GRANNY'S ARM
SO LONG SUCKERS, ABYSSINIA
THE ANAL-RETENTIVE DRUNK EVEN LIKED HIS WHISKEY "NEAT"
GENDARME-AH AND GREG
ZIP UP YOUR FLOYD, I CAN SEE PINK
IF I'VE TOWED YOU ONCE, I'VE TOWED YOU 1,000 TIMES
THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN DOVES DRY
PUTTING THE "HOR" BACK IN HORTICULTURE
CHAIR-Y POPPIN' DADDIES
AFTER YEARS IN CATECHISM, THE COWBOY FORGOT THE LORD'S PRAIRIE
THE ONLY CURE FOR ART FEVER IS A VATICAN-ATION SHOT
IS THAT YOUR HAND IN MY POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST ANALYZING MY PORTFOLIO?
THE TRUMPETER'S NIGHT HIT A FLAT WHEN HE BLEW A TIRE
I COOCOO FOR IACOCA PUFFS
THINGS THAT ARE 35% ALCOHOL, BESIDES BORIS YELTSIN
WHENEVER THE BABY SLEEPS, HE SHEETS THE BED
LEAVING ON A JET PAIN RELIEVER, DON'T KNOW WHEN MY BACK'LL GO OUT AGAIN
THE BOXER THREW A PARTY, BUT NO ONE BROUGHT ANY PUNCH
LIVING FROM HAND TO MAFIA
IF YOU'RE GOING TO WORK AT AN ONLINE CAFETERIA, YOU BETTER WEAR AN INTERNET
EXPLOSIVE SOUNDS YOU DON'T MIND TALKING ABOUT
SALMON CHANTED EVENING
DON'T CRY FOR ME, IKE & TINA
THE OLD GRAY MAYOR, HE AIN'T WHAT HE USED TO BE
THEY SAY IT TOOD A VETERINARIAN TO GET EDISON OUT OF HIS LAB
ANOTHER POET YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT
EL POCO LOCO
BACK WHEN CONGRESS HAD A PURPOSE
RING AROUND THE COLORADO
PAUL, THE CUTEST APOSTLE
MOONWALKERS BESIDES MICHAEL JACKSON
WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACCINATION
BUY ME SUBPOENAS AND CRACKER JACKS
YOU SMELL LIKE THE CITY DUMPLING
THE BUTCHER GAVE ME SOME GROUNDHOG
PENNY MARSHALL ARTS
THINGS WITH LONG NECKS OTHER THAN THE GUY CHEATING OFF YOUR TEST
CORSICAN FANTACIZE FOOLING AROUND WITH TWINS
MI CASTRO ES SU CASTRO
SITTING ON THE DOC OF THE A. M. A.
THE FUEL ON THE HILL
ALFRED PITCHFORK PRESENTS
NON POSTAL JOBS FOR THE UNSTABLE
GOING FOR BOLINGBROKE
JFK JR'S ANATOMY LESSONS
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? STEVIE WONDERS
POISONOUS PLANTS OTHER THAN CHERNOBYL
JESUS- PARTY OF 13, YOUR TABLE IS READY
POPULAR THINGS SKINHEADS HAVE DONE
WHER'VE YOU CARRIBEAN ALL MY LIFE?
I SAW SOME SHAKESPEARE WITCH BREW ME AWAY
MY MIND'S IN THE GUTTER AND SO ARE MY BALLS
KEEPING BOB OFF THE DOLE
STAPLES NOT FOUND IN MISS APRIL'S BUTT
ROULETTE IT BE
WOULD YOU RARTHER SEE IT WAGGON OR DRAGGIN?
LILITH'S DIVORCE DIDN'T FRASIER A BIT
BONY ARMOR NOT SOLD IN THE BATHROOM
CONGRESSIONAL ACTS THAT ACTUALLY INVOLVED WORK
THE JOHNNIE COCHRAN BOOK-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FOKKER
SURE i'M TWO FACED, BUT ONLY ONE WORKS
WHERE WAS BEN STEIN'S MONEY WHEN HE NEEDED IT?
HEY BABE, WANNA TOSS MY JAVELIN?
IMPRESSIONS OF ANOTHER OILY FRENCHMAN
VENICE II SOCIETY
PEOPLE ARE STRANGER WHEN YOU'RE A STRANGER
Here Today, Guano Tomorrow
She Swore She Was a Virgin Island
John MacEnroe Your Boat Ashore
Smoking the Presidential Peace Pipe
Go Fax Yourself
Everything's Coming up Moses
She Shtups to Conquer
I Told you to GOP before we got in the car
Hardy Har Harlem
Lifestyles of the Vertically Impaired
Another Husband who's full of bull
Talking with a Slight Lymph
Christianity and its Love affair with the pancake.
James Jones Loves Chachi
Secretaries who won't make coffee
Mind Your Own Damn Business
Give me 15 Minutes before re-entry
Things Shorter than your cat's Attention Span
Let Me Tell You What you can do with your fat assets
A Neruda Awakening
Orzo it Seems
The People's Quartz
Good THings Come in Freeze
The Buckminster Stops Here
Peta Peta Pumpkin Eata
Those Cubists were a bunch of Squares
The Photographs Formerly Known as Prints
The Candymaker was a Real Pezophile