4) Three nurses died & went to heaven
where they
were
met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, "What did you do
on Earth
and
why should you go to heaven?" "I was a
nurse in an
inner city hospital," she replied. "I
worked to
bring
healing and peace to the poor suffering
city
children." "Very noble," said St.
Peter. "You may
enter." And in through the gates she
went.
To the next, he asked the same question,
"So what
did
you do on Earth?" "I was a nurse at a
missionary
hospital in Africa," she replied. "For
many years, I
worked with a skeleton crew of doctors
and nurses
who
tried to reach out to as many peoples
and tribes
with
a hand of healing and with a message of
God's love."
"How touching," said St. Peter. "You
too may
enter."
And in she went.
He then came to the last nurse, to whom
he asked,
"So, what did you do back on Earth?"
After some
hesitation, she explained, "I was just a
nurse at an
H.M.O." St. Peter pondered this for a
moment, and
then said, "Okay, you may enter also."
"Whew!" said
the nurse. "For a moment there, I
thought you
weren't
going to let me in."
"Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter,
"but you can
only stay for three days..."
5) Thermometer Jokes:
What did the nurse say when she found a
rectal
thermometer in her pocket?
"Some asshole has my pen!"
What's the difference between an oral
thermometer
and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
Why did the nurse always insist on
using the rectal
thermometer to obtain temperatures?
She was taught in nursing school to
always look for
her patient's best side.
6) A nursing assistant, floor nurse, and
charge
nurse
from a small nursing home were taking a
lunch break
in the break room. In walks a lady
dressed in silk
scarfs and wearing large polished stoned
jewlery.
"I am 'Gina the Great'," stated the
lady. "I am so
pleased with the way you have taken care
of my aunt
that I will now grant the next three
wishes!" With a
wave of her hand and a puff of smoke,
the room was
filled with flowers, fruit and bottles
of drink,
proving that she did have the power to
grant wishes
before any of the nurses could think
otherwise.
The nurses quickly aurgued among
themselves as to
which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up,
the nursing assistant wished first.
"I wish I were on a tropical island
beach, with
single, well-built men feeding me fruit
and tending
to my every need." With a puff of smoke,
the nursing
assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next."I wish I were
rich and
retired and spending my days in my own
warm cabin at
a ski resort with well groomed men
feeding me coccoa
and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke,
she too was
gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked
the
lady.
The charge nurse said," I want those two
back on the
floor at the end of the lunch break."
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