What we have and how we got here.
We are a very happily married couple that has been together for over four years. We met in a chat room on the internet, as more and more people are doing these days. That chance meeting on-line was the best thing that had ever happened in either of our lives.
*Before you read on I would like to say that we are very sensual/sexual people. Things of this nature play a large role in our relationship but do not define it. Amongst our reasons for seeking a sisterwife, sex is one of the less important ones. We are seeking a confidant, friend, mate and lover.
We began discussion of an open or swinging lifestyle even before we met real time, face to face. Not long after meeting real time we began experimenting with "swinging" and found it enjoyable but often difficult. One cannot merely walk up to a stranger/friend/acquaintance/family member/co-worker at a party and say, "So would you like to have sex?" Although, I suppose you really could, I doubt it would garner the desired response.
We also experienced difficulties finding others who wanted the same things we did. We would find some who wanted much more of a commitment than we were willing to give at the time or others who wanted sex so casual it made us uncomfortable.
After dropping in and out of the swinging lifestyle for about two years we finally found a swing club to join. This was fun, educational, and also has it's downside. For one thing, there is no way to guarantee that others are into swinging for the same things you are. Just as every personality and relationship is different so too are the objectives and boundaries of every person involved. Also we find that our group goes through great stagnant periods where no new faces join and clicques have formed so that the same people show up to "play" with the same people every time. This is not necessarily a bad thing but for those into experiencing new partners it can be a bit aggravating.
A few words about boundaries. Boundaries are good and very necessary. In our opinion, excellent communication and clear boundaries are the foundation of a happy relationship. Our boundaries have shifted and changed many many times through the years and may even continue to do so. I say 'may' because at the moment our boundaries are quite widely flung. Either of us may be with any other person at any time as long as; the other person is notified either before hand or as soon thereafter as is possible, AND as long as there haven't been any "bans" placed on that person. At times, for a miriad of reasons even the most open couples put hands off lables on some people. For us this is most often because either one or both of us don't trust that person to be discreet, we don't trust their health status, or we feel that person is too serious about the other. In other words I wouldn't want him having sex with a woman I felt wanted him all to herself for good. I trust him completely but jealousy and rivalry don't have a place in an open marriage and we have much better things to do with our time than fend off over eager bed mates.
It has taken us years and many long hours of open, heartfelt communication to get to where we are. We are happy, satisfied and if we only ever had one another we would be fine. But we would like something more.
Have you ever wanted attention, affection, conversation or love making but found that your partner is too tired or busy or even unwilling to give it? Have you found yourself too weary or involved in something to give your partner exactly what it was they wanted at the moment they asked for or needed it? I think, for the most part, we all have and that is why we have put up this web site. Because we want more... |
