"I have a gimpy ankle, a knife, and half a pastrami sandwich to my name. If worse comes to worse, I could distract them with that." - from the Punisher

"Persian God Damn Gulf War!" - Jess Waisaki

"I'm worried about other things than my testacles right now."- Mark Konopka.

"If people take me seriously...THEN I'll be scared."-Dan Gaffron

"There's a plug for everything in my room...THAT'S why my lamp dosen't work."-Steph Becker

"We're buddies now because we shared bodily fluids throught my shirt!" - The Beer Man

"Crazy straws make me paranoid." - Domonic Scranao

"It's only amusing if you don't know what it was a response to." - BUSHIK!!!

"Well...my left hand dosen't have tits." - J.J. Minkel

"I have a nice tan on my butt! - 4 year old girl in my swimming class

"I want to get a van so I can start abducting children" - Ryan Bushik

"Digital pianos don’t sound like real pianos. Besides, you can’t jump on a digital piano." - answer on ECM3080.com's f.a.q.

"Damn you and your damn editing!" - Dan Gaffron

"Mmmmmmm...Pie-pants!" - Homer Simpson

"Did I ask you for your opinion? NO! I didn't, did I. So shut the hell up!" - Dan Gaffron (said to girl who wouldn't shut up)

"I am all powerful... within the limits of my own guestbook and whatnot." - Jessi Bencloski

"Keep disco evil!" - Static-X sticker

"Maybe if we walk away slowly, they won't realize we're running." - Michelle Potter

"Its not a Lie, its an Excuse." - Nan Gaffron

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut-butter quite like unrequited love." - Charlie Brown

"I wish I could just stand up and say "No America, Sept 11th didn't make George W. smarter... you'll see." - Jessi Bencloski

"Cry me a river, biuld a bridge, and SHUT UP!!!" - Dan Gaffron

"Maybe if you didn't talk about penises all the time, everyone wouldn't think you have a problem." Dan Gaffron to Tom Gaffron

"All funds, said and dunds!!" - unknown

"Me fail English? Dat unpossible!" - Ralph Wigum

And finally, in medical news...Dick Cheney is currently suffering from laryngitis. Doctors say he contracted it because of low resistance, lack of Vitamin C, and six months of explaining, "No, George, that's not a word either." - Craig Kilborn, In the News

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett

"Why can't you die like normal people do?"- Dan Gaffron

"How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?"- Dr. Stupid

"Next time I find that fish im gonna wack its fricken head of and sell it to the Chineese!!"-Rooney Jordan

"He drank that stuff that was in the toilet!"-Drew Smith

"Sacred cows make the tastest hamburgers."-Billy Adams

"I'm offended by pornography and I'm offended by the word retard!" - Tyler Carr

"Come on Adam, I'm holding it for ya, try harder!" - Tom Gaffron

"You useless, slope headed, slab of reindeer shit!" - George Gaffron

"Yeah, right after the big fish came and bit everyone's head off." - Tom Gafforn

"Yeah, I grew up on that record." - Alicia Bencloski

"That would explain the grooves in you ass. - Derek

"That just shows ya how bad FOX can be." - Dan Gaffron [on who wants to marry a multi-millionare]

"Yeah! Madonna rules!!!"(screaming) - Domonic Scranao

"George W. Bush is a corprate company desguised as a person." - Ralph Nader

"If that idiot plays one more Backstreet Boys song I'm gonna shoot my slef in the head!" - Nathan Shrader

"Cool! Can I take a picture of that?" - Corey Shrader

"I'm so used to my cable modem, I can't stand this slow shit anymore!" - Dan Gaffron

"That just goes to show ya, you can be to fat to wrestel." - Ryan Bushik

"If you can't say anything nice, your probably at the Ice Capades." - Yacko form Anamanicas

"One of these days they'll clean up their act, untill then I pretend I don't know them in public." - ?????

"Just like my computer, Briteny Spears is cheap, white, and plastic." - Tom Gaffron

"It looks like I just jacked-off an elephant." - Orlando Jones

"Son I'm very disappionted in you, I thought I raised you better than to smash pumpkins and vote for Al Gore, and I thougt you'd at least care about your gun." - StarScream286

"Where's that jack-off that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch? Thats it! I'm sick and tired of being everyone's butt-monkey! It all ends now!" - Xander form Buffy

"I pity the fool who thinks he's Mr. T" - Corey Shrader

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