This is my first loser entry, because much of being a true loser revolves around doing nothing, not on actively doing loserly things. This story begins at a party, sponsored by our Supreme (for now) loser dictator, Snow White (read your titles). As a tempting appetizer to the sumptuous main course, shrimp was served. Being the dignified diner that I am, I began to plow them into my mouth two at a time. I have two hands, no? That’s what they're there for. People began to notice this and told me that I was making a crucial dining error - eating the tails. This is a culinary ‘faux pas’ (also, not pronounced ‘fox pass’) as it turns out. I thought it was a crunchy munchy yummy... but it turns out that not all ‘food’ is ‘food.’ Which leads us nicely to dessert. It was a beautiful cake, with white frosting and white flowers on the side and giant red candles. I knew I was not supposed to eat the candles. The flowers, I thought, would be fun to eat. Just a plant, right? Turns out some plants are poisonous, and, surprise, I had just put one of these beauties into my mouth. Ned kindly told me what I had done, and the party all had a good laugh as I tried to wash the fatal flowers out of my mouth. It turns out later that the flowers are not poisonous, and that good old Ned was pulling my leg, for which I will someday destroy him. At least I was planning to, but I forgave him on the grounds that dinner was non-lethal and I could eat all of it, and it was yummy.
