| First of all,
I would like to tell my story. To some of you this
will not seem like much, because in meeting and talking
to women who have had experiences with this unbelievably
detrimental drug, mine is a mild case.
However; I have come to believe there
is no such thing as being only a "little"
affected by Depo Provera, and those of you who have,
already know what I mean.
In early December
of 1999 I went to my family doctor for a regular annual
check up. For the 1st time in 10 years I found
myself in need of a birth control method. Not only was I
in the process of a divorce, but was also in a new
relationship.
Because I had not had the need for any
type of birth control for such a long time, I asked the
doctor what he thought would be the best way for me to
go.
At that time he discussed only 2
options with me. The pill, and this new option called
Depo Provera.
He explained it was an injection that I
would only need to take 4 times per year and had some
"possible and mild" side affects.
After the physical, the nurse came in
the room to ask which decision I had made, and I said
that "the Depo Provera sounded wonderful!" Who
could beat only having to remember something 4 times per
year?
I asked then, what the side affects
might be and all I was told was that I could have some
irregular bleeding for the first few months, but, in time
it would regulate.
On December 13th
1999 I did receive that shot, and my whole world changed.
(What follows is
the best recollections I have with the help of my partner
and some friends as not all the events are, and may never
be, clear to me in total.)
Almost immediately I started bleeding.
Not just spotting, but bleeding like I had my full blown
menstrual cycle. The nurse had told me this might happen,
so I was not that alarmed at first. After 3 weeks though,
I decided this could NOT be normal.
I called to see what was wrong with me
and was assured by the nurse at that time, that this
would stop, though it might take another shot or two to
do it.
I was frustrated, but trusted my doctor
and his staff. I accepted what they told me and tried to
go on with my life. I noticed I was a little more moody
then normal but I chalked it up to the fact that I was in
a continuous state of my menstrual cycle and just ignored
the possibility that it may be anything else.
Soon though, there was no way to deny
that something was very, very wrong with me.I became
extremely depressed and I had a hard time focusing on
doing even the simplest of tasks.
Day to day chores were all I could
muster, and barely at that. I noticed I was having panic
attacks and moments of paranoia that were totally
overwhelming. I hated being in the house, but when I left
I couldn't wait to get home to the only place I
"sort of" felt safe.
There were times I would say or do
something and it was almost like I was watching
"me" do it from outside myself. (I know that
may be hard for some of you to understand but for those
of you who had problems with the drug I know right now
you are saying OH MY GOD that happened to me too!) I
didn't sleep more then a couple hours at a time, and even
then it wasn't restful sleep.
I can't tell you how long into all this
it was that I called my doctor and demanded something to
at least stop the bleeding, because I honestly don't
remember. But at some point I did.
They encouraged me to wait and take
another shot, which I refused, as by now, at least, my
boy friend had put 2 and 2 together and realized it was
more then likely that very same shot that was making me
so strange. The doctor agreed to put me on the pill to
stop the bleeding, but told me I could only take that for
a month and then I had to go off that again and back on
again in another month. Talk about a body screaming
"what are you doing to me!?".
After many months of this, my wonderful
and patient boy friend could take no more, after one of
my black out rampages I asked him to leave, he did, and
actually it's the only thing that saved our relationship.
He came back a couple months later
after I was starting to be somewhat normal again. There
are many more events that I could relay to you but this
is an overview of what happened after I took the drug. It
has been sometime now since I took my one and only
injection and I still have problems the week before my
period, when my hormone level is at it's lowest. It's
then that I still encounter panic attacks and moments of
paranoia and depression.
"What is
the purpose of pouring out all this personal
information?" It is my attempt to stop the use of
this drug, and if I can prevent this from happening to
anyone else. Even if it's only 1 woman it will be worth
it!
I have done some research and found
that they actually use Depo Provera to chemically
castrate sex offenders (among other things)!
How can they then in turn allow it to
be given to women as a method of birth control?
I would encourage all those with bad
experiences to use the available links to contact as many
people as you can and raise your voices so that we can be
heard.
I also would like you to sign my guest
book with your story, or if you need just a friendly ear
to help you through this.
Any one that is willing, I am compiling
a list that I intend to use to take our fight to the FDA
and to government officials in Washington D.C. in the
hopes of removing this bane from the open market.
Progress
Report (as of August 2, 2001)
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