What is a Cartoonist?

     Cartoonists are your best friends. They are Full-grown adult-type people. Kinda like your mom and dad except funnier lookin'. Big, goofy people with buck teeth and glasses and hair all over 'em in places where you probably wouldn't wanna have hair! They like the same kinda stuff you do- they think BOOGERS are funny, they watch the Three Stooges and they spend every cent they get on comic books, toys and cartoon videos. And you know what they do for a living? They draw funny little pictures of characters doin' stupid stuff that can't happen. And they actually get paid to do it (not too much, but they take what they can get).
     So, back zillions of years ago, a buncha these kinda guys- with names like Bob Clampett, Tex Avery, Chuck Jones and Walt Disney- used to sit around cartoon studios thinking up BUTT JOKES and creating all kinds of these cartoon characters, like Bugs Bunny, Goofy, and Daffy Duck (even though their moms probably disapproved). And these cartoons were FUNNY, so funny that we're still laughing at them today.
     So all these guys who made the cartoons were cartoonists. They not only thought up the jokes and the stories, but they DREW them as well! Kinda makes sense doesn't it? Still think all cartoons are made by cartoonists, don't ya? Oh no! not anymore.

Dawn of the Dark Ages

     After the Golden Age, something terrible happened to cartoons. The Dark Ages descended. Back in the 1960's, cartoons were taken away from the cartoonists and put in control of a NEW type of person: Mean, Old, Rotten, Ornery, Nasty, Scumbags! Or, as they are more commonly known in the cartoon world: MORONS. Unlike cartoonists, these people don't like the same kinda stuff you like. They don't like funny pictures. They don't like booger jokes. They don't like violence in cartoons. They don't even like JOKES in cartoons! In fact, they don't like cartoons PERIOD. They think cartoons are bad for you because they're too much fun These people would pee in your ice cream and make you hold your farts. But worse than all of that, even more amazingly, none of these Morons can even DRAW. That's right. The people that make most of the cartoons now couldn't draw a funny lookin' butt to save they're lives.

Cartoonists Abused and Tortured

     Now, because the Morons aren't smart enough to be able to master the sophisticated skills you need to be able to draw, they still need the cartoonists to draw their moronic ideas for them. The problem with this is, Morons HATE cartoonists! Even more than they hate cartoons!
     In order to not have to deal with the cartoonists, the Morons invented a new life-form, even lower than themselves: the cartoon scriptwriter. This persons job is to write scripts for cartoons. But did you know that NONE of the great cartoons were written on scripts? Not Bugs Bunny, not Droopy, not The Flintstones, not Bambi- ALL these cartoons were written and drawn at the same time on storyboards. Storyboards are like comic strips. Not only are they written funny but they also LOOK funny. Just like cartoons used to.
     Since Morons don't like funny pictures and they don't like cartoonists, they really don't like to read storyboards because they don't understand them. Hence, the need for the cartoon scriptwriter. Cartoons since the mid 60's have been written by cartoon scriptwriters who ALSO don't like cartoons, instead of being written by cartoonists, who DO like cartoons.
     The Cartoon Scriptwriter, improving on th Morons lack of skills, not only can't DRAW, he can't WRITE. In fact, a prerequisite for a cartoon scriptwriter is to not be able to spell or construct a sentence. Cartoon scriptwriters are well-known for being the most illiterate entertainment medium today.
     So once the Morons found their willing puppets, they created a really stupid way to make cartoons. Here's how it works: The Morons tell their moronic ideas to the scriptwriter, who write a moronic script ant hen hand it over to the cartoonist, who has to somehow turn it into a cartoon. This saves the Morons the distastful experience of having to speak to the cartoonist, an infinitely more advanced life-form.
     You can imagine what this must feel like for your friends, the cartoonists, who just want to make you laugh, and know how to make you laugh. The cartoonist is NOT allowed to make the cartoons funny. Many cartoonists have been fired for just trying to make you laugh! Heck, why not KILL them?
     So for years cartoonists were forced to make stinky cartoons, like Gummi Bears and Smurfs. They were forced to read huge, illiterate scripts written by people who didn't like cartoons. Hey kids, imagine what it's like to be beaten with whips with fishhooks on the ends. Well, that's exactly what it feels like for a cartoonist who has to read a cartoon script!
     Yessir, many of these poor, noble cartoonists lived in shame and degradation, hiding away in caves, longing for the day when the could make REAL cartoons. Secret underground societies were formed where tortured cartoonists would speak in hushed whispers about the torment they endured at the hands of the oppressive, cruel enslavers. And while the cartoonist suffered, so did the kids. As the Dark Ages pressed on, the cartoons got worse. Gilligan's Planet scalded your eyeballs out. He-Man came and went. Just when it looked like cartoony cartoons were doomed to extinction, and all hope seemed lost, a ripple happened in the cartoon world.

Madman from the North

     Out of the north woods came Ontario, Canada native John Kricfalusi (pronounced Kris-fa-loo-see), an uncommonly head strong man determined to reinvigorate the art of animation and make cartoons funny again. A Cartoonist with an attitude, John K. as he is known to his pals, had been drawing since he was a small child. The now 37- year-old cartoonist has confessed an early admiration of the syrupy cartoons produced by the disney factory.

     "When I was a kid, I loved Disney cartoons, but I wasn't looking at the content," he says. "I just liked the pure and inherent form of the cartoon." His love for Mickey and his friends didn't last, however. "As I got older, I rebelled against Disney. I started realizing how insipid they were." John K. instead found himself drawn to the mean and witty ministrations of Bugs Bunny. "I liked Warner Bros. cartoons because they were rude and nasty, like REAL people!" he says.
     In 1980, John K. took a job at Filmation Studios, the worst cartoon studio of ALL TIME! This was the cartoon studio that gave us The Archie Show, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, He-Man and Snow White and The Seven Giants. It was here that John K. met fellow hairy cartoonist Eddie Fitzgerald and Tim Minton. These and other oppressed artists were hired by morons to work on rehashed versions of famous old cartoon classics such as Tom & Jerry, Droopy, Mighty Mouse and Heckle and Jeckle. Their job, as John K. once put it, was to "destroy these cartoons that we all loved when we were kids. We did a pretty good job of it to," he added.
     Over the years, Kricfalusi worked on what he called "some of the worst crap in history." He and other cartoonists constantly complained about the sad state of the animated cartoon. At every studio they tried to improve the product, tried to make the cartoons funny, tried to give the cartoonist some say in this art form created by cartoonists. Everywhere they went they ran into brick walls; they were hated by the morons and the scriptwriters, yet bravely they marched on. John K. in particular, was determined to see the day when cartoonists made cartoons again.
     In 1987, John K. met up with animation mogul Ralph Bakshi, and a crack in the wall formed. Bakshi, himself a cartoonist, and a "Great cartoonist" in Kricfalusi's words, was famous for the raw, X-rated, feature length cartoons Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic (go ask your dad). Bakshi had retired from animation in the early 80's because of the hopeless state of the art form. By this time, it was impossible to sell cartoons based on original ideas, particularly by cartoonists. All the cartoons being made were based on toys or were butchered rehashes of old cartoons.
     Bakshi sold one of these rehashes to CBS. He and John K. produced The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse. It was almost cool, but sorta crummy at the same time. But it was the first cartoon in 25 years to be made by cartoonists! You can tell by all the butt jokes, cow teats and neat stuff in it. A bunch of the guys who worked on this show later went on to do some really cool shows, like Bruce Timm, of Batman: The Animated Series and the manly Jim Smith of the Ren & Stimpy Show.
     In 1988, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? was a smash hit. It was a very cartoony cartoon and set the stage for something good. 

Animation's Bad Boys: The Origin Of Spümcø

     Despite breakthroughs like Roger Rabbit and The Simpsons (even though it sucked), the rest of the cartoon business got to be so disgusting and oppressive that some of the cartoonists just couldn't take it anymore. For years John K. and Lynne Naylor had created original cartoon characters and developed stories and television series and taken them around to the major networks to try and sell them. Ren & Stimpy was one of these shows It was promptly turned down by all three major networks. In 1989, John K. and the other maverick cartoonists, Lynne Naylor, Jin Smith and a relative newcomer to the animation world, Bob Camp, quit working for the established cartoon mills. These people had come to be considered bad boys(and Girl) for their considerable anger at the degraded animation form.
     They opened a tiny office in the heart of old Hollywood and christened it "Spümcø" after animation pioneer Raymond Spum. They lived hand-to-mouth, helping each other on freelance projects untill the day they could sell one of Kricfalusi's many cartoon series. 

Spümcø's Noble Cause

     Spümcø had a purpose: to create a home for cartoonists. To create cartoony animation that cartoonists could be proud of instead of being ashamed of! To make cartoons for people instead of morons. To make cartoons that piss your mom off! To make cartoons FUNNY again! HOORAY!

Kricfalusi's Flying Circus

     Spümcø wanted to attract other misfit cartoonists like themselves, who were willing to quit or had been fired from the animation establishment. This is one of the qualities that first attracted John K. to Bob Camp, who technically speaking, was not an animator but definitely fit the misfit bill. And what a misfit! An eccentric Southern fellow, Camp has long, strawberry blonde hair that flows down his freckled back (girly length!) and a Colonel Saunders billygoat beard decorating his sparkling pinched face. Wise network and studio executives steer clear of this gifted cartoonists wrath.
     Camp's rage with Steven Spielberg's Tiny Toons was bravely defiant. "I had a real problem with the managment," he once said. "We had this real strong mutual hate going on between us. The producers castrated the directors so they didn't have any power. The writers had all the power and none of the talent. You couldn't change things, it was all scripted out. The writers were writing sight gags, which is something you need to work physically by drawing- not by some guy at a typewriter who doesn't know how to draw."
     Hence the rigid Spümcø rule: If you can't draw, you cannot write. This rule is a godsend to cartoonists, who for years had no say in the cartoons and were treated with disdain by talentless employers. John K. on the other hand, swore that "at Spümcø, only cartoonists will make cartoons."
     John K. gave opportunities to cartoonists who never stood a chance at an established cartoon studio. Camp, who just previously had gotten a break in the cartoon business storyboarding under top Hollywood cartoonist Eddie Fitzgerald, was considrered by Kricfalusi to be one of the most talented raw cartoonists (and funniest) he ever met. And so Camp, with six months of solid experience under his belt, went from being a freshman storyboard at Tiny Toons to being one of the key members of Spümcø's creative team. Kricfalusi, Camp and seasoned animation veterans Jim Smith and Lynne Naylor vowed to carry on the tradition of giving artists opportunities based on their raw talent rather that their experience.

Nickelodeon To The Rescue

    A few short months after Spümcø was formed, Nickelodeon, the cable network for kids, announced that they were looking for new cartoons invented by CARTOONISTS! Nickelodeon president Geraldine Laybourne revived a concept long familiar to cartoonists, but forgotten by humankind: the concept of creator driven cartoons. What she meant by this was that she wanted cartoons whose inspiration came from the cartoonists who created them and not from toy companies or Morons. She made it clear to the world that Nickelodeon, unlike the other networks, would encourage the cartoonists; she didn't want to tell the artists what she wanted, she wanted to let the artist create their own ideas and cartoon world. It was this kind of free creativity that led to the creation of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and all the other great cartoon stars, and she wanted her artists to create lasting characters that she could own!
     John K. flew to Nickelodeon headquarters in New York and showed the Nick brass five different ideas for cartoons. Ms. Laybourne was so impressed with John's enthusiasm that she picked to concepts she liked, Your Gang and Jimmy the idiot boy.  "I just knew at the regular networks there was no way in the world they would buy my stuff undiluted," Kricfalusi says. "So I diluted it. I hid the Ren and Stimpy characters, surrounding them with a bunch of kids in a show called Your Gang. And I made up a bogus pitch about it being socially conscious." Nickelodeon's vice president of animation, Vanessa Coffey, immediately saw through Kricfalusi's creative static, to his great satisfaction, and zeroed in on the undomesticated duo. Laybourne particularly liked the idiot concept, and at first wanted Jimmy. John didn't want to give away his best character, so he sold Nickelodeon his second best creations, Ren & Stimpy, and everybody lived happily ever after...IN A PIGS EYE!

...Onward to Part Two!

- "Cel Out- The Plot to Kill Cartoons" by Chris Gore and his Magic Gremlins Wild Cartoon Kingdom #1, 1993 (I shamelessly copied about 90% of the the story from this)
- Wild Cartoon Kingdom #3, 1993
- Spumco News #2, August 1994
- Spumco News #4, January 1996
- Hero Illustrated #15, September 1994
- Cinefantastique Double Issue Vol.26 #6/Vol.27 #1, October 1995
- Ren & Stimpy: The Definitive First and Second Season Episode Log by Michelle Klein-Hass
-A bunch of Interviews with John K., Jim Smith, Bob Camp and other Spümcø Bigshots.