I am the Teller of Tales,
Gaze into the fire with me,
For I know the Badger Lords,
And their mountain, by the sea.
‘Tis of a fearsome warrior,
Full of fate and destiny,
Who followed dreams, along strange paths,
Unknown to such as we.
This Badger Lord was fearless,
As all who followed him knew,
And the haremaid he befriended,
Why she was as young as you!
But no less bold or courageous,
Full of valor and strong of heart,
Aye, young ‘uns like you, good and true,
May stand to take their part.
So hear is my story, may it bring
Some smiles, and a tear or so,
It happened, once upon a time,
Far away, and long ago.
Outside the night wind keens and wails,
Come listen to me, the Teller of Tales!
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Sung by Dotti (p. 23)
“I am but a broken-hearted maid,
My tale I’ll tell to you,
As I sit alone in this woodland glad,
Yearnin’ for a pudden or two.
I hi hi hi, si hi hi hi hi hiiiiiing!
Whack folly doodle ho, whoops cum whang,
The greatest song my grandma sang,
Was to her fam’ly of twenty-three,
Ho dish up the pudden, save some for me!
‘Twas made from fruit an’ arrowroot,
Hard pears and’ apples, too,
Some honey that the bees chucked out,
That set as hard as glue,
Some comfrey leaf an’ bulrush sheaf,
An’ damsons sour as ever,
She stirred the lot in a big old pot
While we sand ‘Fail me never.’
When all of a sudden Grandma’s pudden,
Burst right out the pot,
Round as a boulder, not much older,
Fifty times as hot!
It shot down the road, laid out a toad,
An’ knocked two hedgehogs flat,
Splashed in the lake an’ slew a snake,
An’ the frogs cried ‘Wot was that?’
Oh deary me calamity, oh woe an’ lack a day.
Without a pudden to my name
I’ll sit an’ pine away… awaaaaaay
Whack foholly doohooohoodelll daaaayeeeeeee!”
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Read by Groddil (pg. 32)
“No highland willed from kin deceased,
Or quest for castles, vague, unknown,
For Ungatt Trunn the Fearsome Beast
Will carve a fortune of his own!
Find the mountain, slay its lord,
Put his creatures to the sword!
When the stars fall from the sky,
Red the blood flows ‘neath the sun,
Then let mothers wail and cry,
These are the days of Ungatt Trunn!
Hark, no bird sings in the air!
The earth is shaking everywhere!
His reign of terror has begun!
For these are the days of Ungatt Trunn!”
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Sung by Ruff (pg. 30 & 40)
“Hey ho ahoy we go.
Row, me hearties. Row row row!
Chucklin’ bubblin’ life’s a dream,
I’m the brook that finds the stream.
Hey ho ahoy we go.
Row me hearties. Row row row!
Sun an’ shade an’ fish aquiver,
This ole stream flows to the river.
Hey ho ahoy we go.
Row, me hearties. Row row row!
Down mates down an’ foller me,
I’m the river bound to the sea.
Hey ho ahoy we go.
Row me hearties. Row, row row!”
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Sung by Dotti (pg. 56 & 57)
“Wompin’ along with a woffle de ho,
As down the stream I jolly well go,
Shoutin’ Lowere yore rudder an’ furl that log,’
There’s nothin’ on land like a seagoin’ frog.
So aor that paddle an’ paddle that oar,
Listen me hearties, I’ll sing ye some more!
I’m a beautiful hare wot lives on the river,
In winter sweat an’ in summer I shiver,
I don’t need no badger or otter for crew,
I’m cook an’ I’m paddler an’ captainess, too!
So mainsail me gizzards until we reach shore,
Listen me hearties, I’ll sing ye some more!
Ye don’t mess with Dotti that ole riverbeast,
I’m grizzled an’ fearsome an’ that ain’t the least,
So swoggle me scuppers ten dozen I’ve slew,
I’m a jolly young creature an’ quite pretty too!
So mizzen me muzzle an’ mop the boat’s floor,
I’m sorry, me hearties, I don’t know no more!
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Sung by Jukka’s tribe (p. 74)
“Dawn goes the paw an’ up rises dust,
Keep thy courage, hold thy trust,
Come to our journey’s end we must,
Marching the high road together.
Tramp tramp tramp! Can we make camp?
Not whilst there’s light, not ‘til tonight!
One two! One two! Beneath a sky o’ blue,
Sing out, comrades. Tramp tramp tramp!
On goes the trail, for ever more,
Weary of limb, and sore of paw,
Keep on moving, that’s our law,
Marching the high road together.
Tramp tramp tramp! Can we make camp?
I’ll tell ye when, don’t stop ‘til then!
One two! One two! Daylight hours growing few,
Sing out, comrades. Tramp tramp tramp!
++++++++++
Said by Fragorl (pg. 79)
“Blue is the sea, blue is the sky,
Mightiest under the sun,
Blue are you, the same as I,
Servants of Ungatt Trunn.
Let him see what you are worth,
Make lesser creatures see why
The Chosen Ones can shake the earth,
Whilst the foes of their masters die!”
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Said by Bramwil (pg. 85)
“When sunlight tinges the dawn of the day,
Remember those brave ones now gone,
We who recall them to mind, let us say,
They were perilous beasts every one!
For those who live, but are not free,
May we see their dear faces again,
Mother Fortune grant them sweet liberty,
And cause slaves not to suffer in pain.”
++++++++++
Sung by Rogg (pg. 80)
“Ho berries’n’pickles an’ corjul wot tickles,
Gudd apples’n’pears from ee h’orchard do cumm,
Gurt taters’n’beets an’ ee redcurrinks sweet,
Get ee owt o’ thy tunnel an’ go fetch oi summ,
Urr rowtle dee tootle dee, spring be a-born,
Ee fields be all full o’ roip barley’n’corn!
Ho turnips’n’dannyloin, damsing an’ plumm,
Yon loaf’s in ee uvven an’ crispin oop noice,
Carrots’n’onions an’ chesknutters cumm,
Get owt’n ee tunnel, oi woan’t tell ee twoice!
Urr gollybee gullybee wudd for ee foire,
Oi luvvs ee moi dearie, moi ole ‘eart’s desoire!
Ho radish’n’celery, custidd’n’cake,
An’ ee sweetest of hunny from bumbledy bee,
Thurr’s beer n ee cllar, cumm noaw moi owd feller,
You’m fill up’n thoi tummy wi’ wot pleasures ee!
Urr trucklebee rucklebee larks oop abuvv,
Cumm darnce ee moi petal an’ ‘old moi paw luvv!”
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Read by Fleetscut (pg. 99)
“Two points north of dawn,
Find stone and shade and drink,
Follow where no water runs,
March on through two moons and suns,
My sign you’ll see, I think.
Discover then a streamwolf’s ford,
Tug thrice upon the royal cord,
Then my honor guard will bring,
Loyal subjects to their king!”
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Sung by captive hares (p. 114)
“I’m a hare of Salamandastron,
An’ foes don’t bother me,
I’ll fight all day an’ sing all night,
This song of liberty!
Liberty! Liberty! That’s for me,
The mountain hares are wild an’ free!
One two three hooray!
You can’t stop sunrise every day!
I’m a hare of Salamandastron,
I wander near an’ far,
You’ll know me when y’see me,
‘Cos I’ll Eulalia!
Liberty! Liberty! That’s for me,
From good dry land to stormy sea!
One two three hooray!
You can’t stop sunset every day!”
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Read by Fleetscut (pg. 138)
Come mother, father, daughter, son,
My challenge stands to anybeast!
I’ll take on all, or just the one,
Whether at the fight or feast!
Aye, try to beat me an’ defeat me,
Set ‘em up, I’ll knock ‘em down!
Just try to outbrag me, you’ll see,
King Bucko Bigbones wears the crown!”
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Read by Blench (pg. 145 & 146)
“Down in the cellars where nobeast goes,
Littlebob Hare went runnin’,
He ran an’ ran an’ followed his nose,
Where rocks never let the sun in.
He got very tired an’ sat by a pool,
Then found out to his cost, sir,
That he was nought but a silly fool,
Who’d gotten himself lost there.
‘Oh woe is me,” cried Littlebob,
‘’Tis dark an’ so unsightly,
I must find some way out o’ here,
To where the sun shines brightly.’
So he climbed up to the coiling snake,
All damp an’ slippy-feeling,
An’ found beyond the big plum cake,
A hole right through the ceiling.
He went up through an’ chased the blue,
An’ made it home for tea, sir,
He beat the tide an’ spinies, too,
But his mamma tanned his tailfur!”
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Sung by hares (pg. 171)
“There’s hares on the mountain much older than I,
An’ still they can manage to scoff the odd pie
I remember ole grandma had not teeth to boot,
She used to eat rock cakes an’ lots o’ hard fruit.
Older’n I, scoff the odd pie,
No teeth t’boot, rock cake an’ fruit,
A hare is a marvelous creature!
My uncle Alf with long seasons was grey,
‘Stale pudden an’ pastries’ll do me,’ he’d say,
‘Oh fetch me good cider an’ no fancy cuts,
An’ a big rusty hammer to crack hazelnuts.’
Older’n I, scoff the odd pie,
No teeth t’boot, rock cake an’ fruit,
No fancy cuts, crack hazelnuts,
A hare is a marvelous creature!
My auntie Dewdrop was as old as the hills,
She wondered why ducks always ate with their bills,
‘Their tummies must flutter,’ the old gel would cry,
‘I once knew a duck ate a dragonfly pie.’
Older’n I, scoff the odd pie,
No teeth t’boot, rock cake an’ fruit,
Seasons was grey, pasties he’d say,
No fancy cuts, crack hazelnuts,
Old as the hills, ate with their bills,
Auntie would cry, dragonfly pie,
A hare is a marvelous creature!”
++++++++++
Sung by an otter (pg. 199)
“Oh I am a sea otter I lives by the sea,
I knows every tide ebb’n’flood,
An’ I’ll never break fee from the sea, no not me,
‘Cos the sea’s in a sea otter’ blood.
Haul yore nets in mates an’ let everybeast wish,
That tonight we’ll be dinin’ on saltwater fish!
Well I’ve seen ‘er stormy, sunny an’ calm,
An’ I’ve tasted the good, briny spray,
Just show ‘er respect an’ she’ll do ye no harm,
She’ll send you ‘ome safe every day.
Throw thse post in mates, down deepp t’the sea,
Tonight you an’ me’ll ‘ave lobster for tea!
Them waves come a crashin’ out o’ the blue,
Aye big rollers all topped white with foam,
I sees my ole boat prow a-cut ‘em cleanthrough,
An’ I sings then a-sailin’ back ‘ome.
We’re ashore now mates, let yore mains’l go limp,
I’ve brought my ole mum a great netful o’ shrimp!”
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Sung by an otter (pg. 240 & 241)
“Now have ye been away far,
To terry an’ to roam?
Well sit ye by the fireside,
Welcome to yore home!
The kettle’s on to boil,
Flames a-burnin’ bright,
No more you’ll sleep alone,
‘Neath those stars at night,
Take off yore trav’lin’ cloak,
Come put yore paws up ‘ere,
Put a smile in my ole eye,
Take away this weary tear,
You’ve come home mae!
An’ in time for supper, too,
So it feels just great,
To saw welcome home to you!”
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Sung by Dotti (pg. 254 & 255)
“Ho whack folly doodle oh Duckfontein,
Dillworthy is my family name!
A fatal beauty have I, goodbeasts,
I’m completely unrehearsed,
Havin’ never been, kingess or queen,
Woe to me I’m doubly curs’d,
Oh the crown lies heavy on the ears,
Of a simple maid like me,
Now everbeast must scrape an’bow,
An’ bend a jolly ole knee… heeheeheeheeheeeeee!
Ho whack folly doodle oh Duckfontein,
Dillworthy is my family name!
What a royally difficult life I’ve got,
But I regally say to m’self wot wot,
A Duckfontein must show no pain,
‘Tis fame an’ fortune’s lot,
My super subjects will adore,
My spiffin’ sweet young voice,
An’ loyally cry out, more more more!
Each night they’ll all rejoice…joy hoi hoi hoi hoice!
Ho whack folly doodle oh Duckfontein,
Dillworthy is my family name!
Affairs of state that just can’t wait,
An’ decisions of high degree,
The balance of a pudden’s fate,
Rests hard ‘twixt lunch an’ tea,
Let anybeast yell, ‘Come let’s feast!’
Whilst the royal beauty doth sleep,
They’ll rue the day that they met me,
Dorotea…Du…huck…fontein…Dill…worth…eeeeeeeee!”
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Sung by Dotti (pg. 299 & 300)
“Did ever I tell you when I was born,
Pa cried we were clear out of luck,
He sent me out searchin’ for honey,
An’ my head in a beehive got stuck!
Poor mother was so forgetful,
She put a plum pudden in bed,
An’ covered my brother with custard,
‘Thatll do us for supper,’ she said!
Oh woe is me, what a family,
There used t’be just six of us,
But now there’s thirty-three…heeheeheeheeeeee!
The day Grandma took up knitting,
She couldn’t tell yarn from fur,
But she clacked her needles all evening,
An’ knittered herself to the chair!
My sisters left home for ever,
Then returned wet an’ soakin’ with tears,
The fire had died, so ‘twas I go ‘em dried,
I pegged ‘em all out by their ears!
Oh woe is me, not another more,
There used t’be thirty-three of us,
But now there’s thirty-four…hawhawhawhaaaaaw!
Old uncle was hard of hearing,
He’d a trumpet to hold by his ear,
Poor auntie was so shortsighted,
That she often filled it with beer!
When a squirrel dropped by for a visit,
She tidied the place in a rush,
Auntie swept an’ varnished the door,
By using his tail as a brush!
Oh woe is me an’ hares alive,
There used t’be thirty-four of us,
But no there’s thirty-five…iiiiiiiiiiiiive!”
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Sung by an otter (pg. 303)
“Oh rowtledy dowtledy doodle hi ay,
We’re full of plum duff an’ salt water!
Now the Rowtledy Dow was a leaky ole craft,
With aprons an’ kerchiefs for sails fore an’ aft,
An’ all of her crew thought the cap’n was daft,
An’ he was sure they was all barmy!
Her anchor was made from a big rusty pot,
That they hauled up each mornin’ to serve dinner hot,
But the crew was too slow so the cook scoffed the lot,
An’ a seagull flew off with the pudden!
So ‘tis heave away mateys the wind’s blowin’ west,
An’ the cabin mole’ wearin’ his grandma’s blue vest,
While the mate’s got a blankettattooed on his chest,
To keep his fat stummick from freezin’!
While there’s fish in the sea better mannered than we,
For they washes their flippers an’ don’t slop their tea,
An’ we’d be better off on the land don’t yer se,
‘Cos I think that the ould ship is sinkin’!
Oh rowtedly dowtedly doodle hi ay,
Nail a pie to the door for me mother!”
++++++++++
Sung by Grenn (pg. 344)
“I won’t eat pie or pudden,
Filled with grass an’ roots,
For me a tart’s a good ‘un,
With ripe plump juicy fruits.
Take some cherries an’ blackberries,
Honey so thick an’ sweet,
In golden crust, all fit to burst,
Aye that’s the stuff to eat, mates,
That’s the stuff to eat!
Say nay who can, to mushroom flan,
All baked with onion sauce,
Unless you think ‘tis better than
A crisp green salad course.
Sup cider pale, or nutbrown ale,
Oh isn’t lunch a dream,
Surrounded by an apple pie,
With lots of meadowcream, mates,
Lots of meadowcream!”
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Recited by Lord Brocktree (pg. 349)
“My blade like winter’s cold doth bite,
Come guide me, Badger Lord,
For truth and justice we must fight,
Wield me, your Battle Sword!
Defend the weak, protect the meek,
Take thy good comrades’ part,
My point like lightning, send to seek
The foebeast’s evil heart!
Eulalia loud like thunder cry,
Be thou mine eyes and brain,
We join in honor, thee and I,
To strike in war again!”