(**All episodes are a work of fiction. Any resemblance between the names, characters, places or incidents with anyone or anything from the past or present that might tend to get us in trouble is purely coincidental.**)
This weeks episode:
“No don’t panic on me.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well this is news to me.”
“Why?”
“Because nobody has told me that before..”
“Melvin?”
“Yes, Mayor?”
“How long have your worked for the city in the clerk department?”
“Um about twenty years.”
“So would you say that in all that time I might have seen you more than once?”
“Maybe.”
“I would say more like yes.”
“So is that why you asked me to come to your office?”
“No.”
“Then it is bad news right?”
“I didn’t say that either Melvin.”
“Then it is good news?”
“Not really.”
“Boy you sure are confusing me.”
“That wasn’t my intention. I just need to go over with you some changes.”
“Oh my god changes. That sounds awful.”
“Now calm down Melvin.”
“I am calm.”
“Is that why you have beads of sweat on your forehead?”
“That’s just because it is hot in here.”
“Funny the A/C is working fine.”
“But, but it could be defective.”
“I think we need to get back to talking about the changes.”
“It is the end of the world. I knew it was coming.”
“You would presume I would know that?”
“You never know.”
“You can relax, that is not what this is about.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Would you like tell me if it was the end of the world?”
“Oh yes, you can plan on that.”
“Whew! That’s a relief.”
“I’m glad for that Melvin.”
“So is this like the doom of Mediocrity?”
“The doom of Mediocrity? Wouldn’t that be sort of the same thing?”
“No. Might just be our city biting the dust. Like the dam breaking.”
“We don’t have a dam near the city.”
“You might have built one and I didn’t know.”
“You can relax, we didn’t do that either.”
“Okay, but if I need to buy a boat you will let me know.”
“Yes, I will let you know.”
“Thank you.”
“So anyway time to get back to the changes.”
“Do we have to?”
“Yes we do.”
“Because I felt talking about it gave us a chance to deal with any questions.”
“Questions!”
“Yes.”
“Then that means it is something that will cause me problems.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Okay you can admit it. I’ve got some fatal disease right? There was something in the coffee and I’m a gonner. That’s it isn’t it?”
“Melivn?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think you could just listen here?”
“Listen huh?”
“Yes it would be appreciated.”
“Then that means there is something wrong with my brain?”
“Melvin this is not about you.”
“And you promise?”
“Do I need to?”
“Well no offense Mr. Mayor, but I know the times what you say sort of turns out different than what you say.”
“Okay, that is a given. But this is not an election year.”
“Oh I forgot that part.”
“Obviously.”
“So will this like mean we have to move to the cellar?”
“Why would it mean that?”
“In case an asteroid was going to hit city hall.”
“Don’t you sort of think if that was the case I wouldn’t be here?”
“But it might be a small asteroid. Just big enough to wipe out the clerk’s office.”
“Right that is a big possibility.”
“It is?”
“No, I was not being serious.”
“Don’t scare me like that!”
“Can we get back to this change instead?”
“Must we?”
“Yes.”
“And I don’t need to like check on my will?”
“No you don’t.”
“Do you still have my life insurance policy?”
“Yes I still have the one I sold you?”
“You didn’t like change it in some way?”
“No.”
“Whew!”
“Okay, I think we need to move on here.”
“To where? Is the sinking?”
“No, not that either.”
“Promise?”
“Yes I promise.”
“Oh no, I can’t handle the pressure!”
“What pressure?”
“I just know it is going to be a disaster.”
“And you would be wrong.”
“Ah, but maybe you are just saying that to keep me hopeful.”
“No I’m not.”
“How do I know?”
“Mervin?”
“Yes?”
“Do you really think I would go through talking about this if I could have avoided it?”
“You might.”
“Well you will just have to trust me I wouldn’t.”
“Then things are okay?”
“Yes.”
“And I’m not dying?”
“No.”
“Then I’m going to live forever?”
“I didn’t say that either.”
“I just need to know I will be around tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
“And this won’t like ruin my life?”
“No.”
“Okay then what is it?”
“We are changing who we get our office supplies from.”
“How come?”
“We found a place that is more affordable.”
“They aren’t aliens are they?”
“No.”
“And they won’t like take away our jobs?”
“Nope.”
“But, what if I need the same pens?”
“They sell them.”
“But what if they are fake and have no ink?”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“So you won’t fire me if my pen runs out of ink?”
“Nope.”
“And you won’t like yell at us if some reports are late because of it.”
“No.”
“Whew. I guess I can handle that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Only in the future Mr. Mayor it might be better to just come out and tell me and avoid all this drama.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” I reply, which is the same end we had to our last two conversations!
Want to see Rash tell all? Then drop by his blog MAYOR RASH LIMBURGER
William Robbins
penman_1@hotmail.com
