By Gia Savitz

 

 I just want to inform all of the NGW fans that this week’s Out of the Closet is the most special one that’s ever been put out! There are so many questions that I must answer and many things that I must reveal to all of you.

 

 First off, many of you want to know about this R.I.P. character who made his debut on August the 27th at the NGW House Show. Many of you also want to know about my manager, actually more like my publicist, who made her debut on August the 27th at the NGW House Show. This week’s column is going to be a “tell all” column, quite similar to Missy Hyatt’s autobiography, which chronicled her career in our industry. I just want to add one more thing before I go in-depth. R.I.P. will no longer be a part of NGW because, quite frankly, he sucks. He just can’t cut it as a professional wrestler and just, well, bored everyone to death including me. Hell, I had to jump into his match to make it worthwhile, beating the crap out of his opponents. Anyhow, now to the “tell all" gossip. Listen to me, I sound like Joan Rivers ;-)

 

 The August 27th show was interesting. It may not have been the greatest NGW show ever but the chaos I was living during the weekend of the show made it interesting. You see, I’m going to tell you all about what went on before the show, during the show, and after the show. I feel like for the past few months, I’ve been hiding the Gia Savitz lifestyle and I’m tired of doing that to all of you. First off, I had to pick up my manager/publicist Poison Evy at the train station in North White Plains, New York and from there, took the Garden State Parkway to the Best Western Hotel in Pleasantville, New Jersey, which is just nine minutes from the arena out of Egg Harbor Township. We bought two separate rooms, one for Poison Evy and one for myself and R.I.P. We got there before R.I.P., as he was making his way to the hotel from Hellertown, Pennsylvania. Once he got there, we checked out our rooms and R.I.P. and I had everything we needed including a hot tub. We all decided it was dinner time so we went to the sushi restaurant right in the vicinity of our hotel. We ate a lot and drank a lot and, well, I got drunk off my ass! I had two glasses of chardonnay and a shot of sake, which is Japanese liquor. Now you may say that’s not much alcohol but I’m light-headed and I get drunk fast. We all entered myself and R.I.P.’s hotel room and it was party time, Gia Savitz style! Due to my drunken state, I felt like putting on an exhibition so I took off every article of clothing and ran around the room naked for Poison Evy and R.I.P. to see my beautiful body. Poison Evy was sitting on the couch, shy and timid, so to take away those feelings, I had to make myself comfortable by sitting at her side. While with Poison Evy, naked and free, R.I.P., began filming me on the couch naked, using his cell phone, without telling me. He then told me he was filming me in the nude and began sending the film to his friends, one in south Florida and one in Westchester County, New York. Honestly, I felt like a movie star. Actually, I felt more like a porn star ;-)

 

 After all the bedlam, Poison Evy decided to hit the sack and get some rest, which left R.I.P. and I all alone. I jumped into the shower to wash my beautiful body and jumped out, took a towel and throwing down to the floor in order to stay naked and free. R.I.P. also needed a shower or bath of some sort and was wondering if maybe we would want to take a bath in the hot tub together, naked!!! I said, “I would love to!” We jumped into the hot tub together, washing each other’s bodies, and then while soaking in the tub, I put my arms around his big body, and felt secure and free. We jumped out of the tub and then fooled around. We fooled around so much that we basically innovated new and fun ways to redefine the term, “fooling around.” As you all know, R.I.P. and myself brought two dildos into the ring for the battle royal. Well, R.I.P. had about five dildos in his luggage and we used them while fooling around! After making love, we called it a night and went to bed, thinking about the next day for some NGW action.

 

 The next day we woke up early in the morning, checked out of the hotel, and had breakfast at my favorite restaurant across from the Best Western, Deli on the Square. I made sure I had a big breakfast, preparing for the NGW show we were taking part in. To kill some time, we went shopping to Circuit City, Borders, Best Buy, and Blockbuster Video. I purchased Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits and I feel she’s just wonderful to listen to. I could listen to her music for 24 hours, 7 days a week. Due to the high rate of the Best Western, we got rooms at the Econo Lodge. The Econo Lodge’s rates were no different than the Best Western, The rates were just about the same. We packed our belongings in our rooms and headed off to Egg Harbor Township for the NGW show.

 

 As we arrived to the arena, we put our belongings for the show in Paul’s house, We changed into our suits and I was confident that I would do well. One thing I wasn’t so sure about was how R.I.P. would do out in the ring. R.I.P. and I entered the battle royal and did an ok job. We used the two dildos and all but I was eliminated and due to R.I.P. not wanting to negotiate, he eliminated himself and sold absolutely nothing. We were in trouble.

 

 R.I.P. said his blood sugar was diminishing so we had to go to Wawa down the street. He bought a power drink as I bought a Gatorade. We then jumped into the Jeep and headed back to the arena. As we got there, I faced doom. It turned out R.I.P. was up next to take part in a three way dance! I led him to the ring for his match and it got under way. The match bombed. Badly. It bombed mostly due to R.I.P.’s work rate. R.I.P. is probably going to go down in history as the worst wrestler in Next Generation Wrestling ever! Due to the lackluster match, Ronin and I had no choice but to jump in and make the match worth something by beating the crap out of everyone. After the carnage we left in the ring, R.I.P. landed a stiff elbow into Scorpion, one of R.I.P.’s opponents, right in the rib cage for the..............win! Well the pin was a fast count but R.I.P. was victorious and will go down in record books as winning a match. I was pissed, mostly at how poor R.I.P.’s performance was. R.I.P. and I went backstage and noticed Scorpion holding onto his rib cage. I felt so bad for Scorpion and he was mad. Mad mostly at R.I.P. Scorpion looked straight in R.I.P.’s eyes and told him, “You didn’t sell anything!!!” Yeah R.I.P., you sold nothing pal! I was irate. A part of me wanted to walk out of the show, that’s how bad it was. I confronted Ronin and said, concerning our match later in the show, “We have to bust our asses out there.”

 

 Prior to our match, I told Ronin I wanted to go out there for 25 minutes, even 30 if we have to due to my guy R.I.P. putting on such a poor performance. We were told the match had to be 15 minutes, which I may have not been so crazy about, but when the promoter makes the rules, you must abide by them. Ronin and I worked hard and Scorpion had a role in this match as well. The match went well and I could actually leave the show, happy.

 

 After the show, I met a NGW groupie. That’s right, groupies aren’t just in heavy metal concerts you could also find them at wrestling shows. This groupie’s name was Sherri and she was of course, Gia Savitz’ type due to her BBW appearance. If you are unsure about what BBW stands for, it means Big Beautiful Woman. She told me she was bi and I told her I was bi as well. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner and while we were there, R.I.P. and I went to the men’s room. I told R.I.P. that she was bi and he wanted Sherri to come back to our hotel in order to engage in a threesome! I asked her if she wanted to come back to the hotel with us and she said yes ;-) Unfortunately, the threesome deal fell through due to time constraints and we had no physical action for the bedroom.

 

 R.I.P., Poison Evy, and myself went back to the Econo Lodge. With no Sherri to give us company, things looked a bit bright for us. You see, Poison Evy obliged to have a threesome! R.I.P. was sitting on the chair in our room as Poison Evy took her pants off to reveal her shapely, wide rear end. R.I.P. and Poison Evy were caressing one another and I will admit, it was kind of hot to watch. It was so hot that Gia Savitz resurrected. Wait, I misspelled that. Gia Savitz res-ERECTED!

    For the second night in a row, yours truly was drunk and horny. My drunken state was the result of drinking a bottle of champagne. I was also naked for the second night in a row. We experimented the five dildos, that R.I.P. brought, on Poison Evy as well. In the end it turned out that Poison Evy was REALLY BAD in bed. Hell, I felt like I was having sex with a mute. But after all of this, Poison Evy and R.I.P. fell in love. It was due to this weekend that Poison Evy and R.I.P. are an item. These two may even get married. Anyhow that’s that story and yes, it’s a bit graphic but I’m telling the truth.

 

Other news I want to get into is concerning my status with NGW. I will reveal that in next week’s column.

 

Also on September 24th I will officially resign from the East Coast Pro Wrestling promotion. I will tell you more on that in a future article.

 

My friend and I are in the works of putting together a comedy available only on the internet. It’s going to take some time but it should be ready within 12 months or so.

 

That’s this week’s edition of Out of the Closet and if any of you fans are doing private parties and need a male stripper, call me at (914) 263-2699 or email me at LtheNomad@aol.com I’m willing to travel within the New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania areas.

 

I love you all!

 

Hugs and kisses,

 

Gia Savitz :-*