*Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

*I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

*Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

*I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

* Are You Andy or Barney?

*You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

*I pay your salary!

*Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

*I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

*Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

*When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"