A Collection of Various Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

* How many Gardernians does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Sorry, that's a Third Degree secret.
2) (In a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know... initiate?"

* How many Alexandrines does it take to change a light bulb?
They will wait to watch how the Gardnerians do it to perform in the same way.

* How many Brit Trad Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

* How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
1) 93.
2) None - Thelemites embrace the dark as well as the light.
3) None - real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark. stare at them as you
wait for them to grasp the obvious)

* How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
"Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our
complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course"
with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere!
Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."

* How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.

* How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
I can't tell you--we never change a light bulb the same way twice! :}

* How many ADF druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better
the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second
Druid's song.

* How many Shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change shape into a cat or bat, and can see in the dark.

* How many tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
2, as long as the lamp is by the bed...

* How many Ceremonial Magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
1) One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.
(I know one of these; it's true!)
2) Only one, but he has to do it on the 3rd friday of a month
when the Moon is in Taurus and it's the fifth planetary hour...
and it's *not* funny

* How many Druid's does it take to change a lightbulb?
501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.

* How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!

* How many Astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"

* How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs
never burned out before those Christians came along.

* How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Into what?

* How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?
R1: Nine - one to hold the bulb, and eight to drink until the room spins. (thanks to Ann Sheffield)
R2: None, there is plenty of light coming from the burning monestary (Thanks Krei)
R3: None, The Light of the burning churches gives light enough... (thanks Bjorñ)

* How many Macumba (brazilian counterpart of vodoo) practicioners does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one babalorisha (priest) just to yell that the lighbulb is burned and a Yawo (novice) to change the bulb... (thanks to Sandra Ruy Oyakilewasy)

Q: How many Theosophists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. By the time they finish discussing whether the lightbulb needs
changing, the proper method in which to change the lightbulb, how it might
have been done historically, and how everybody else changes lightbulbs,
it's already daylight. (Thanks to BL)
B: None. It was the karma of the bulb (and perhaps the lamp) to burn out.
In time it will replace itself, perhaps with a higher but never with a lower
wattage bulb.

* how many freemasons, and specially how much time does it take to change a lightbulb?
R1: Can't tell.. they still use candlelight!
R2: It takes 9. 1 to actually do the job, the others to give comment
- one of the nine being the secretary making minutes of it...
R1 and R2 - Thanks to Dutchross .'.
R3: Sorry Aprentice, that's a 33 Degree secret...
R3 by Medhal
R4: After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:

2 to complain that the light doesn't work.
1 to pass the problem to either another committee, the Temple Board or the Master of the Lodge.
3 to do a study on light in the Lodge.
2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.
3 to argue about it.
5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.
2 to complain that "that's not the way we did it before."
1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.
1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.

Zodiac - Signs


* How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs.

* How many Tauruses does it take to change a light bulb?
What, me move?

* How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?
II

* How many Cancers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

* How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

* How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb,
one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

* How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

* How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They LIKE the dark.

* How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

* How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
The light's fine as it is.

* How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

* How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
What light bulb?

 

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