"What does reincarnation mean?"
A cowpoke ast his friend.
His pal replied, "It happens when
Yer life has reached it's end.
They comb yer hair, and warsh yer neck,
And clean yer fingernails,
And lay you in a padded box
Away from life's travails.

The box and you goes in a hole,
That's been dug into the ground.
Reincarnation starts in when
Yore planted 'neath the mound.
Them clods melt down, just like your box,
And you who is inside,
And then yore just beginnin' on
Yer tranformation ride.

In a while the grass will grow
Upon yer rendered mound.
Till some day on yer rendered grave
A lonely flower is found.
And say a hoss should wander by
And gaze upon that flower
That once was you, but now's become
yer vegetative bower.

The posey that the hoss done ate
Up, with his other feed,
Makes bone and fat and muscle,
Essential to the steed.
But some is left that he can't use
And so it passes through,
And finally lays upon the ground,
This thing that once was you.

Then say by chance, I wanders by
and sees this upon the ground
And I ponders, and wonders at,
This object that I found.
I thinks of reincarnation,
Of life, and death, and such,
And comes away concludin': Slim,
You ain't changed, all that much."

No tree is too big for a
short dog to lift his leg on.

THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my fathers wife.

To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
to the widows grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.

Fathers wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughters son.

My wife is now my mothers mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, shes my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild.

For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!!

COW ATTACK

"What happened to your pickup seat? Is that buffalo track?"
Well, I guess you had to be there. We had a cow attack.
It all began when me and Roy went out to check the cows.
We'd finished lunch and watched our "soap" and forced ourselves to rouse.

We"s pokin' through the heavy bunch for calves to tag and check.
I spotted one but his ol' mom was bowin' up her neck.
She pawed the ground and swung her head a-slingin' froth and spit
Then bellered like a wounded bull. "Say, Roy," I says, "Let's quit!"

But Roy was bent on taggin' him and thought to make a grab.
"Just drive up there beside the calf, I'll pull him in the cab."
Oh, great. Another stroke of genius, of cowboy derring-do.
Sure-'nuff when Roy nabbed the calf, his mamma came in too.

And I do mean climbed up in there! Got a foot behind the seat
Punched a horn right through the windshield and she wasn't very neat.
She was blowin' stuff out both ends till the cab was slick and green
It was on the floor and on the roof and on the calf vaccine.

If you've been inside a dryer at the local laundromat
With a bear and 50 horseshoes then you know just where I's at.
At one point she was sittin' up, just goin' for a ride
But then she tore the gun rack down. The calf went out my side.

I was fightin' with my door lock which she'd smashed a-passin' by
When she peeked up through the steering wheel and looked me in the eye.
We escaped like paratroopers out the window, landed clear.
But the cow just kept on drivin','cause the truck was still in gear.

She topped a hump and disappeared.The blinker light came on
But if she turned I never saw, by then the truck was gone.
I looked at Roy,"My truck is wrecked. My coveralls are soaked.
I'll probably never hear again. I think my elbow's broke.

"And look at you--yer pitful. All crumpled up and stiff
Like you been et by wild dogs and pooped over a cliff."
"But think about it," Roy said. "Since Grampa was alive,
I b'lieve that that's the firstest time I've seen a cattle drive."

.

Reprinted with permission of Baxter Black, from On the edge of Common Sense.

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by Herb Mignary, reprint from Western Horseman

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To the best of my knowledge proper credits were applied when-ever possible.
If any copyrights were violated in any way please contact me and I will correct it immediately.

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