Only in Canada.......can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance!
Only in Canada.......are there handicapped
parking spaces in
front of a skating rink!
Only in Canada.......do drug stores make the sick
walk all the way to the back of the store
to get their perscriptions, while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front!
Only in Canada.......do people order
double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet coke!
Only in Canada.......do banks leave both
doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters!
Only in Canada.......do we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars, in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage!
Only in Canada.......do we use answering
machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we don't miss a
call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place!
Only in Canada.......do we buy hotdogs
in packages of twelve, and buns
in packages of eight!
Only in Canada.......do people take their
coffee, Crisp!
Only in Canada.......do we use the word
"politics"
to describe the process so well.
"Poli" in Latin meaning"many,"
and "tics" meaning bloodsucking creatures!"
Only in Canada.......do they have drive-up
ATM machines with Braille lettering!
You know you're from Canada when.....
You only know three spices,
salt, pepper and ketchup!
You design your Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit!
Canadian Tire, on any Saturday, is
busier than the toy stores at Christmas!
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating
in a blizzard!
Driving is better in winter because
the potholes are filled with snow!
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks
and a flannel nightie with
only eight buttons!
The local paper covers
national and international
headlines on two pages
but requires six pages for hockey!
You know which leaves make
good toilet paper!
You find - 40 C a little chilly!
The trunk of your car
doubles as a deep freeze!
You attend a formal event
in your best clothes, your finest jewelry
and your Sorels!
You understand the
Labatt Blue commercials!
You perk up
when you hear the theme from
"Hockey Night in Canada!"
And let's not forget :
Red Rose Tea
"Only in Canada?"
"What a pity!"
