07•16•2000 | Late Again |  |
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Submitted by Aeon Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullsh*t. So basically, this message is a big F**K YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. |
Rozolyn
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18):Your friends will fill your schedule this week with surprise inviations.
Pisces (Fab. 19 - March 20):Romance will have you floating on a cloud by the end of the week.
Aries (March 21 - April 19):Knowing when to ask for help is a mark of wisdom!
Taurus (April 20 - May 20):Keep a close watch on that so called close friend.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)::Now is the time for change!!
Cancer (June 22 - July 22):Eat the fortune cookie, but go without the fortune.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22):Think any BIG plans over (& over again) before acting on them.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22):Making new and exciting friends will be easy this week.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Stop searching, happiness is right in front of you watching and waiting.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): You may have to dig a little deeper, but you'll find the strength you're looking for inside yourself.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Take a hard look in the mirror before casting judgement.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): You may be a comic at heart, but keep in mind some peoples hearts lack a sense of humour. |
 LadyGreenEyes™ http://www.geocities.com/hippychickc |
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GiverOfSugar®™ ~On Chatting~ 1. If you were to start chatting now and were never a deamon what handle do you think you'd use?? Well, I hang out on a number of message boards and a few other chat sites, so I'd probably use a variant on the handle I use for those- Seigfried. If you're wondering where the handle comes from, I lifted it from Final Fantasy 3 way back when I was a video-game obsessed munchkin on AOL and pretty much just stuck with it :)
2. What rooms would you chat in most do ya think? I'd probably spend most of my time in the East Wing... In the Castle, most likely, or some of the other more offbeat RPs. 3. Without giving names what do you think of the chatters you've met thus far? With a few exceptions, the chatters I've met so far are mostly nice people, even if they do tend to be a little... err... excitable :)
4. How often do you get to come in and chat for leisure? Not very often... At home, I'm usually buried in ICQ and AIM windows when I'm online, and between chatmastering and tech support, I'm usually pretty busy at work. I do swing by Joe's, occasionally, though. 5. If you could change anything about the Chathouse® as a chatter what would it be? Hmm... As a chatter, I'd want the Java chats not to suck as much :) The two Java chat drivers aren't actually Chathouse-developed; they were bought from two other companies. As such, we've had no end of trouble with them... If you're a chatter, that basically means that you're on your own in there, since there are no logs and almost never an actual Chat Daemon in the room (sometimes I do hover in there so I can boot scrollers, though). Also, as I'm sure people are aware, there was once a period in which the attic server crashed about once every two or three days and usually stayed down until someone came in to reboot it : BR>
1. How long have you worked there? Well, I've just been working here since May this time around... I also worked here in the summer two years ago. As a matter of fact, I was one of the coders who worked on the infamous room cabinet project. 2. What's your favorite thing about your job? Well, we're a very small company, so we don't suffer from the same beaurocracy that I hear people complaining about elsewhere- If I'm working one day and my monitor dies, then I can literally walk right into the CEO's office and say "Hey, Brian, can I get a new monitor?" Of course, the size does hurt us when there are outages, but it's not as bad as it could be.. I'd rather have to answer six calls during an outage than go through six layers of sub-management to get my monitor fixed. BR>
3. Least favorite? Gotta be dealing with pushy customers. Now, don't get me wrong, most of Channel 1's callers are pretty laid-back, and the average person really just needs you to take a look at their dial-up networking or EMail settings. However, there are a small but persistent group who will call and basically tell you that their computer is screwed up and that it's all your fault and expect you to give them a ten-minute answer which will fix everything- unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. 4. Describe your job duties: A little bit of everything, really- I'm the receptionist, I do tech support, read tech EMails, answer Chathouse EMails, point the programmer Chat Daemons at what needs fixing, brush off telemarketeers, make new Chathouse rooms, and any other odd, boring jobs which need doing (Yesterday, I spent an hour fixing copyright dates on the Channel 1 homepage :P ). Well, it could be worse- I could always be in Billing :) 5. Do all the daemons get along well? Not only all the daemons, but all the Channel 1 Staff get along fairly well. One of the other fun things about working at Channel 1 is just hanging out with the standard crew of goofy Chat Daemons. :) 6. Do you think your boss would look good in pie?? I think Mike has a surprise coming the day before I leave... *WEG*
7. What will I have to do to get you to help me get on the payroll? And when can we *TX & I* expect our new comps? *EG* I'll give you a percentage of my weekly earnings. Specifically, 0% :) 1. Age & sign: 19, Aquarius 2. Location: Yuppietown, MA, also known as Andover. 3. Marital status: Single 4. Children: None. 5. Pets: One cat and my attitude :) 6. Pet Peeves: Large, angry dogs, bad science fiction, and whoever singed the Chatmaster up for six different NSync mailing lists >: P 7. Hobbies: Yeah, I know I'm lame, but personally I'm into anime, video games, and sci-fi/fantasy books :) 8. A favorite Motto or Quote to live by: [The answer to this was found to be depressing and has been omitted] 9. Musical preferences: Actually, I have a huge MP3 playlist with all sorts of stuff of it- orchestral, heavy metal, Japanese pop music.. You name it. I'm not a big country fan, and I could definitely do without 90% of the stuff on your average Top 40 station, though. 10. anything else?? I'd just like to remind you that anything Texas tells you about me should be taken with a huge grain of salt : )
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of The Lily Pad Stumbled upon a precious flower recently, and with little awareness of her ability to captivate, the beauty locked its beacon onto my soul with the subtle thud of a benchmark moment in time. Stood there looking, oblivious to the reasons for attraction in our inception of friendship…a conception of a relationship without boundaries or restrictions. Simultaneously, without a map for direction. Ironic thing is contentment at its best. I can receive her senses with an ease unequaled in recent memory…taste her vibrancy, hear her compassion, smell her wondrous nature, see her unequivacable beauty and feel her genuineness guided toward me. The longer you gaze at something so precious and beautiful the more you develop a burning desire to be mesmerized. Simple interest migrates and a craving overwhelms. There is a need to touch her as well as be touched by her … not in the traditional sense of touch, but by the caressing stroke of passion and emotion. Not so long ago, there was no color in the flowers I gently overlooked. I thought to have witnessed a precious flower before only to have it wilt in my hands as salty tears tainted its petals. Despite plunging into despair, I still find my stares locked onto this most sincere of precious flowers. Surely, she lacks perfection and purity, alas such adjectives doused with unimportance. Still I gaze upon her, staggering in amazement of my ability to open doors thought to have been sealed. With relative ease she inserts a key and strolls eloquently inside, dispersing an avalanche of happiness upon my heart. Her imperfection I find perfect for a sensitive scribe. Her innate compassion spread so evenly constructs structure in her world, while she wears a rainbow of vulnerability on her sleeve … exactly that which allows her to reach out to a passerby who has decided to set anchor for a time. I inhale this precious flower, while she reciprocates so graciously. I have managed to decipher her needs, and hold a promise to nurture and protect such important requirements. ©2000 |
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Chat Dominatrix
After wondering thru the rooms as often as I do, I think it's fair to say that maybe the Chathouse needs some changes to be better equipped to handle the ever growing needs of so many of the chatters. I'm thinking maybe a whole new floor. We could have the emails of doctors, lawyers, psychiatrist, and every crisis center ever imagined posted right on the enter the page! A room for those suffering from AllTheTimerz, because they say they are "leaving chat forever" all the time, but forget to actually leave!! And we could have an Infirmary for the terminally ill hypochondriacs, or should I say the eternally ill? And lets not forget a Euthanasia room where Dr. Kevorkian would be the room monitor, to assist the many that want to commit suicide, but are torn between death and chatting, now they can do both at the same time!! And with Kevorkian as the room monitor, they won't be shipped to the AllTheTimerz room a week later. And we can have a Whine & Cheese room, well actually just a Cheese room, I think we have more then enough whiners to fill the place up! I'm sure I could think of several more rooms needed but I think you see what I'm saying? People that play these
games continuously, do not hurt us (annoy maybe, but not hurt), they don't even
hurt themselves, who they hurt are the few that do come in here with one of
these real situations, in need of some friendly chat, a kind heart or strong
shoulder and what they end up getting is abusive chat, a hardened heart or a
cold shoulder. Fellow chatters are human ~well most are~ and are not an endless
container of compassion! You'll find this out the one day when you have a real
problem and go looking for some some compassion, and you find, those you turn to
have already been drained. Chathouse Gossip:
Speaking of whiners, The Psychedelic
Shack's forum wins the Cheese&Cracker award! For a younger generation that
preaches, change is inevitable, deal with it. | My Two Centsby My2CentsDealW/it! Please allow me to introduce myself. The moniker I go by is My2CentsDealW/it! which, in a nutshell describes who and what I am. I give freely of my own opinions and, since I do not form opinions without knowing what it is that I am talking about, people have no choice but to deal with it. HOWEVER, if there be anyone among you who disagree and feel that you can argue the point, I am always open to debate. Now, for my first published monologue with my highly coveted opinion: Since this e-zine is targeted at chat and the persons who do it and how they do it, this shall be the subject of my first piece. Chat Truths In my extensive chat travels I have encountered certain truths that continue to propagate and prove themselves. For example: Normal polite pleasantries get taken to a whole new level in chat. Such as, the normal nicety of saying, "Hi so-and-so, how are you today?". This will get you one of two responses. A. The normal and rarer of the two, they reply with "Fine thanks. How are you?". B. The second, and far more common, response is a tirade of how angry, hurt, frustrated, desperate or just plain pathetic that person or their life is at the moment. Believe me when I say, there is nothing I enjoy more than walking into a room, be it with strangers or familiar faces, and asking a simple question like "how are you?" and getting a litany of whining in return. I read in a previous e-zine issue where someone had asked the question about what consequences there are for chat behavior as compared to the consequences for the same behavior in real life. The consequences in chat may be different than in real life, but they are there. Take the pathetic whiners that feel free to "unload" all their problems on any hapless chatter that happens to ask how they are that day. There are consequences for what they do, which may include one of the following: They may simple tell the whiner what they want to hear so they'll shut up. They may ignore them all together or even avoid walking into a room that is occupied by the whiner. In extreme cases that whiner may be told to "take a long walk off a short pier", "go jump in a lake" or simply to "JUMP!", or anything else from a long list of "four lettered" expletives. The point being, if you feel free to "share" or "unload" your problems on other chatters pay the price of alienating people that might have become close friends, people that they might have been able to share these things with IN SMALL DOSES and might have gotten a sympathetic ear. They also build for themselves a reputation that spreads through the chat realm faster than any other "grapevine" that I have ever experienced. In conclusion: Remember this. The people you chat with are but a moment of your life as a whole. If your life is a wreck DO NOT share it with your chat friends unless asked. "How are you today?" does not constitute "asking", it is a pleasantry and nothing more. Don't waste those precious moments with fellow chatters by "dumping" your pathetic life on them. Before long you won't even have chat as an escape from your life, because everyone you chat with knows how pathetic you really are and won't talk to you. These fellow chatters experience only what you post to them and it doesn't take many "whiner posts" for you to get the label, so be careful to whom, when and how often you whine. Your lose, not mine, I know where the ignore button is and how to use it. "OOPS, where you whining, I mean talking to me? You accidentally got clicked on ignore. I wonder how THAT happened?" So, what have you got to say to that? Let me know and I'll tell you if it's worth 2 cents! Oh, and now is your chance to whine to me so I can tell you how to fix your pathetic life so you won't go on annoying other chatters. *note: all names and handles will be changed or removed to protect the pathetic* |
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Michigan Storm™ I'm sure by now you've all figured out how these work, the most important thing to keep in mind is that it's all in fun. Now two weeks after each "election" is posted the results as of that date will be posted in the zine, however You may vote until July 28th, 2000. With FINAL results posted upon July 30th, 2000. To vote email me at ch_zine@hotmail.com and know this:: ALL VOTES AND EMAILS ON THIS WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS... I WILL NOT SHARE THE ADDY'S OR NAMES OF THOSE WHO WRITE WITH ANYONE. July 2nd Elections::::
Variations of Dragons (3 votes) badgirl Handles with Sexy in it SexyGirl (2 votes) Variations of Pimp HotSexyMale **these votes specifically said "since the zine began"
Variation of Storm "who aren't family"
RiderOfTxStorm (2 votes) ShatterStar (2 votes) SheWhoSmacksHard NEON DEVIL HornedGod WobblyHeadBob (2 votes) Root AnonyMouse Plastic Fork Rainbow Blue
Of ALL the chatters you know, who tends to keep their true thoughts and feelings to themselves the most? Past Elections that can still be voted on::::
Which handles are most OVER USED in the Chathouse?
Of ALL the chatters you know, who do you find the wittiest? Of ALL the chatters you know, who do you find the cockiest?
Of ALL the chatters you know, who do you find to be the most subtle and the most blunt?
Of ALL the chatters you know, even if they are from different rooms, who do you think would make the oddest couple?
Of ALL the chatters you know, even if they are from different rooms, who do you think would make the best couple?
Drama Queen? Drama King? |
