01-YOU EAT CHEEZ WHIZ FROM THE CAN
02-YOU THINK NYQUIL IS HARD LIQUOR
03-YOU'VE SEEN ELVIS TWICE IN THE LAST MONTH
04-YOU STILL DISPLAY ALL OF YOUR NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK MERCHANDISE
05-YOU PUT BEER ON YOUR CEREAL INSTEAD OF MILK
06-YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT
07-YOU THINK ALL SUGAR CUBES HAVE DOSES ON THEM
08-YOU THINK A 10-STRIP IS A CLUB DOWNTOWN
09-YOU FIND THE GUESTS ON JERRY SPRINGER ATTRACTIVE
10-YOU ARE A GUEST ON SPRINGER
11-YOU MASTURBATE WITH SMALL, FUZZY, FOREST DWELLING CREATURES
12-YOU SHOW YOUR GAY PRIDE AT A SKINHEAD CONVENTION
13-YOU STEAL ORANGE CONSTRUCTION BARRELS TO USE AS FURNITURE
14-YOU THINK THE RETZIN IN CERTS IS AN AWESOME DRUG
15-YOU TRY TO BUY CANDY FLIPS AT THE CANDY STORE
16-YOU HAVE POSTERS OF DAVID CASSIDY
17-YOU THINK THE WORLD IS FULL OF LOVE
18-YOU RELATE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE TO THE SIMPSONS
19-YOU'VE GOTTEN LOST IN WALMART
20-YOU THINK ECSTACY IS A NEW FORD CAR
21-YOU PRODUCE AND MARKET JERRY SPRINGER TRADING CARDS
22-YOU TRUST THE GOVERNMENT
23-YOU ORDER STEAK, HOLD THE MEAT
24-YOU BLOW UP FEDERAL BUILDINGS WITH FERTILIZER
25-YOU ARE FRIGHTENED BY INDOOR PLUMBING
26-YOU THINK YOU ARE A STRAIGHT-EDGE HIPPIE
27-YOU ARE THE LIZARD QUEEN
28-YOU SAW JERRY GARCIA AT THE LAUNDROMAT LAST WEEK
29-YOU TALK TO MASHED POTATOES ABOUT POLITICS
30-YOU FINISH A FAMILY DINNER BY PASSING A BOWL
31-YOU STOP TO PICK UP SINGLE SHOES OFF OF THE FREEWAY
32-YOU THINK FROZEN PIZZA IS BETTER THAN SEX
33-YOU BOUGHT STOCK IN NEW COKE OR CLEAR PEPSI
34-YOU THINK PIMPS ARE THOSE THINGS YOU GET ON YOUR FACE
35-YOU BUILD FRIENDS OUT OF USED BAND-AIDS AND Q-TIPS
36-YOU CHEW NICOTINE GUM WHILE SMOKING
37-YOU SING ALONG TO GROCERY STORE JINGLES WHILE SHOPPING
38-YOU'VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY SPACE CATTLE
39-YOU REFER TO THE SIMPSONS AS CHURCH
40-YOUR PARENTS DO MORE DRUGS THAN YOU
41-ALL OF YOUR TOWELS HAVE HOTEL NAMES ON THEM
42-YOU LISTEN TO THE VOICES
43-YOU'RE AFRAID ILLEGAL ALIENS FROM CUBA WILL TAKE YOU TO THE MOTHERSHIP
44-YOU THINK YOUR MCDONALDS COLLECTOR CUPS WILL BE WORTH SOMETHING SOMEDAY
45-YOU THINK YOU'RE A PINE TREE
46-YOU THINK ATARI HAS BITCHIN' GRAPHICS
47-YOU COLLECT URINAL CAKES
48-YOU TRY TO ASSASSINATE SOMEONE WITH A NERF ARROW BLASTER
49-YOU THINK THAT LITTLE MEN LIVE IN YOUR GLOVEBOX
50-YOU MAKE YOUR OWN TIME ZONE BY SETTING YOUR CLOCKS FIVE MINUTES AHEAD
51-YOU GET A MUFFIN, NAME IT GENEVIEVE, AND STILL HAVE IT SIX YEARS LATER
52-JESUS HAS APPEARED TO YOU IN A TORTILLA
53-YOU FIND $20, BUT ARE PISSED BECAUSE YOU WANTED A PEANUT
54-YOU LOSE A CONTACT IN A DEEP FRYER AND REACH IN TO GET IT
55-YOU COLLECT DRYER LINT
56-YOU WRITE IN CHEWBACCA WHEN VOTING FOR PRESIDENT
57-YOU REFER TO YOURSELF AS THE WOOKIEE OF LOVE
58-YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR THIS LIST
59-YOU TRY TO BREED POUND PUPPIES AND PURRIES
60-YOU SEE THE MOVIE MANNEQUIN, THEN HEAD OUT TO SEARS
61-YOU TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE NOT WEARING PANTS WHEN YOU REALLY ARE
62-ALL OF YOUR SPOONS HAVE BURN MARKS ON THEM
63-IN ANY WAY, YOU THINK LIKE ME
64-YOU TASTE TOILET WATER TO SEE WHY DOGS LIKE IT
65-YOU PRAY TO COLONEL SANDERS AND HOLD FRIED CHICKEN SACRED
66-YOU KNOW EVERYONE AT THE PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK
67-YOUR FAVORITE COLOR IS OATMEAL
68-YOU CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN BUYING CATSUP OR KETCHUP
69-YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE THIS IS NUMBER SIXTY-NINE
70-YOU'RE DISSAPOINTED BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT NUMBER SIXTY-NINE
71-YOU OWN FOUR VCR'S AND NONE WORK RIGHT
72-YOU CAN TALK TO SQUIRRELS
73-YOU SING "SEE MY VEST" EVERY TIME YOU GET DRESSED
74-YOU THINK MEOW IS A UNIVERSAL GREETING
75-WHEN ASKED THE TIME, YOU ASK "CENTRAL OR PACIFIC?"
76-YOU WAIT FOR MR. HANKEY TO COME EVERY CHRISTMAS
77-YOU'RE LIFE IS AN EPISODE OF THREE'S COMPANY
78-THE LOCH NESS MONSTER REPEATEDLY ASKS YOU FOR THREE-FITTY
79-WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW, YOU SAY "HI, I'M A PINE TREE!"
80-YOU PUT CHAINS ON YOUR SKATEBOARD TIRES FOR WINTER
81-YOU THINK GOD IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL
82-YOU THINK BAY WATCH IS HARD CORE PORN
83-MORE THAN THREE OF THSE APPLY, YOU ARE DEFINITLY A FUCKNUT
84-IN NICE RESTAURANTS, YOU MAKE YOUR FOOD TALK
85-YOU WATCH TV WHILE DRIVING
86-YOU THINK WEE-WEE IS A NAUGHTY WORD
87-YOU HEAD BANG TO KENNY G
88-YOU'RE DENNIS RODMAN
89-YOU WATCH "I LOVE LUCY" TO GET IN THE MOOD
90-YOU BELIEVE IN THE UNDERWEAR GNOMES
91-YOU DON'T LEAVE WEBB'S WITHOUT DRINKING AT LEAST TEN CUPS OF COFFEE
92-YOU GO SLEDDING ON CARDBOARD IN SUMMER
93-YOU CARRY THREE PAGERS AND TWO CELL PHONES AT ALL TIMES
94-YOU TRY SMOKING FRUIT TO GET HIGH
95-YOU MOLEST ANIMAL CRACKERS
96-YOU LAUGH HYSTERICALLY WHILE WATCHING FACES OF DEATH
97-YOU TAKE NOTES WHILE WATCHING FACES OF DEATH
98-YOU CARRY A BOTTLE OF RANCH DRESSING IN CASE A RESAURANT RUNS OUT
99-YOU THINK I'M SANE
100-YOU'RE STILL READING THIS LIST
 
 
 
 
 

I HEREBY GIVE CREDIT TO  CHAD  FOR STARTING THE INITIAL LIST AND TO ALL OF THOSE THAT HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE LIST.  THANK YOU! br>

Back To The Main Page