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1st Letter to Dave Barry
A smoke filled strip joint is where the idea for a men's getaway fishing weekend was hatched, while we nursed our $6 a bottle beer. Since we can get a 12 pack of cheap beer for $6, all we needed was a boat and a camp on a lake.
My
brother Pete offered to buy the
beer, I (Charles) offered to teach my brother-in-law Ken
to fish and Ken offered his father's boat and camp. This annual
event has provided us with 17 years of manly memories.
Sincerely, Charles aka bass man |
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*** Sitcom
Business Plan for Mens Fishing Weekend ****
Presented By
*** Episode
List ***
Show Title:
Men's Fishing Weekend
Presented by
Weedless Productions
Director: Ken
Donovan
Producer:
Charles Baylies
Camera Grip:
Peter Baylies
Third Camera
Grip: Bob Donovan
***
Screenplays ***
Episode 1: Intro: The first trip - How to hit
cookies with a canoe paddle
Future
episodes will include but not precluded to:
Sitcom slated to start: TBA - pb PS. I will not be giving out autographs: My Oscar speech script: "I want world peace for all and hope that all people, stupid and smart can all get along." |
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Hats:
This is everyone's #1 priority. Introducing a
new hat each year is a must. Like shoes, a hat defines a man. Once Bob donned the ugliest hat. It had hooks in it. Kind of like the one the Major wore on Mash. He was laughed right out of that thing. Bob now conforms to the standard baseball hat style. |
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Watches:
Are you out of your mind!
Time stands still and is of no interest. Unless, of course you're
Bob. He wants to know the time so we can go to dinner. Polarized Sunglasses: No fisherman should be without sunglasses. Get a pair that allows you see under the water. If you haven't tried polarized glasses yet then wake up! You'll be shocked at how you can see the terrain and fish. If you're a bass fisherman you'll not only be the envy of the boat, but you'll increase your odds by seeing a fish before anyone else in the boat. This gives you first casting rights if you keep your mouth shut. |
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Shirts:
Pictures are taken so don't wear something stupid. Pete wore a
Hooter's tee shirt. While he looks good with the bass, that tee shirt
.... oh boy. Shoes: Old sneakers. Any questions?! |
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Title |
Price |
Qty |
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Delivery |
Comments |
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$40 |
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8 - 10 Weeks |
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$25 |
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4 - 8 Weeks |
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Introduction
| Fishing
is about competition. Period.
Except for Pete, every fisherman
wants to catch the biggest, catch the most, and watch the others
watch him catch fish. So MFW is a tournament between 4 men.
Actually 2. Charles and Kenny. In 1990 Charles was but the master
and Ken the student. Since '94, Ken has become a master and is
Charles' main competitor. Meanwhile, Pete and Bob compete against
one another. Although '99 was a draw between everyone, Ken reigns
as champ several years running.
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| MFW
started as a weekend for the men;
Pete, Charles and Kenny. Leave
Friday return Sunday. It's now a Wednesday to Sunday trip. After
the first year, MFW became a ritual until death. Oh yeah death ...
before we consider a new member, one of us must die. Even then, the next year his seat remains open as a tribute. After that resumes will be accepted. We stay on a camp on Gardner's Lake in Machias, Me. Since Kenny's father owned the camp and boat, the death rule was waived for him. Two years later Bob joined and is a life long member. When he's gone, his seat doesn't open up. Peter and Charles are brothers who love to fish. Kenny is their brother in-law who loves boats. Bob loves Maine. |
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Two
distinct sunrises on Gardner's Lake. Viewed from the deck of the
camp.
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| Gardner's
lake is the perfect spot. Huge and miles from nowhere. Men in the
wilderness bragging, drinking, smoking, and acting stupid. Really
stupid.
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For
example, Charles comes up with lines like "you can simulate
sex, but you can't simulate fishing". Or Pete, using a paddle
as a guitar, will do a whole skit on Wayne's world. "Imagine
if Heather Locklear were here, bleb, bleb, bleb. She's a babe.
Wayne's World, Wanes World, party on, excellent".
The 1999 MFW video is a must see on that one. And Kenny goes along
with either of them. Nearly 20 years old the 17' boat had a 70 HP Chrysler. In its heyday, it pulled 3 skiers and was the fastest on the lake. Now the seats were decrepit and the engine was |
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Kenny
fixes the boat. Again.
While
Charles fishes in the canoe.
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unreliable.
No one cared, except for, of course, Kenny. He frustratingly made
everything work. Pete and Charles blissfully fished. Plus, if the engine was dead there was always the canoe. |
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| Mens
fishing weekend started in 1989,
the year my father died. In
dad's honor I no longer use a hula popper, because my popper is
dead. Dad was great man who instilled moral values by
example and with inspirational quotes like "it's only
money" "get all 100s" and "follow your
bliss". Dad was not much of a fisherman, although he
had some great fish stories about the relatives in his youth who
had a place on a lake in Cape Cod. His tales were of monster
pickerel that were caught while they were water skiing. Oh
boy I love a good fish story. Our leaky wooden rowboat named the Hojojepecha, made by taking the first two letters of the Baylies kid's names. I got the last three letters because I made up the name. The boat was kept on North Pond in Lock Mills Maine a short ride from the family farm in Bryant Pond (BP). This fine fishing boat had a built in live well/wading pool, that gave us kids a real chance to get our feet wet. White and yellow perch caught while trolling around the lake provided us with fish almost everyday. Older brother Chris and I spent dawn to dusk fishing when we were in BP, and bass fishing became a real challenge. Mom was always there to praise the fishermen and clean and cook the catch. I now realize that she encouraged us to fish because she loved it when she had some time to be alone. Mom is the woman behind the good man. Always giving to see others smile. The Vangie Trophy was introduced by Mom to present to the best fisherman of the trip, in 1994, the year the curse began and Ken started winning. Competition is a key motivation for most men. Men's fishing weekend brings out the best in the Baylies/Donovan men. I am the bass master and always will be. I, as Ken will admit, taught him to bass fish in a leaky row boat on North Pond. Once he hooked into a scrappy Largemouth bass, he was hooked. Donovan men were more interested in the boat than the fish, pickerel were easy, so they were pickerel fishermen. I have to say I was a slacker in the early days. Every year I would easily win the weekend with the best fish. The highlight of my rein as bass king, ( have since been demoted to bass man), is the 6 pound small mouth that I got in 1992 at the end of second lake. Ken has been doing the work, he heard a splash, he caught a glimpse and he like most men loves a trophy. It's a new century, my time has come. Ken says, the new century starts in 2001, you idiot. Stay tuned, the hype has begun. Super bowl weekend should be fun. |
| The first year of MFW, we went to Millard's farm to get the boat. It's a suck job. Pete and Charles never did this before. They stood around and watched. Years later they still stand around and watch Kenny put the boat together. Kenny and Millard wrestled the two ton motor from the cellar and onto boat. After wiring up the motor, off we went to launch the boat and FISH! | 
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| When the fishing got slow, Pete pulled out a few porno magazines. He had spotted a stack of them in Millard's cellar. He figured since he wasn't doing anything, "why not take a few, they don't cost nothing". When no one was looking, he stuffed them up his shirt. | ||
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Stolen
from Saturday Night Live, it was the year of the "Bass O'rama"
the "Bass Myster". Unlikely as it was, Pete caught a
fish! After a morning of fishing, Pete's on the dock and Kenny's in the boat cleaning it as usual. Pete was cleaning the fish he caught. That's the rule. Actually, it's a man's unwritten law, no one cleans someone else's fish. Pete has a brand new razor sharp fishing knife in his hand, provided by his mother, Vangie. It's rare for Pete to catch a fish, let alone clean one. While cleaning the fish, Pete rambles on, to Kenny's amusement; "Fish O'rama, Fish Myster, Head O'rama, Dead O'rama". When suddenly and to Kenny's amazement, he cleanly slices open his thumb wide open! Blood! Ouch! Don't even look. |
| Pete didn't look; he quickly wrapped up his thumb in a rag and calmly walked up the stairs to the camp. Ken and I followed offering to get him to the hospital. Pete is no stranger to pain, as the little brother of the family he took a lot of abuse in the form of hockey pucks fired at point blank range. We felt this was a good way of building up his self-esteem, by aiming at him and shouting "great save Pete"! |
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| As
the evening wore on the beer wore off
and the thumb started to
throb. At 5 the next morning, I woke Ken and found Pete's
bed empty. Pete is not a morning person and as I
poured a cup of Bob's gourmet coffee, I saw him bundled up in his
winter coat on the deck. It was a cool Maine morning, the lake was glass the air was thick with fog. I joined Pete with my coffee, and commented on the best part of waking up. Not being a coffee lover he sarcastically growled he would rather sniff lighter fluid, not a happy camper. We headed for the boat and Pete groaned that he we had to go to the hospital because his thumb REALLY hurt. We all stopped and realized Pete must be in danger of losing his thumb tip. Then we looked out on the calm lake and looked at each other. The silence was broken as Ken said; " you had your chance yesterday." We are going fishing. Sharing and caring has its limits. |
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| The 2nd year Pete brought a rod he found in the middle of the road. The top of the rod had been run over by a car. None the less, Pete had a free rod and reel. The rod broke in half the first time he go stuck on something. Still ... it was free. |
| It
was a year I will never forget. 1993, no maybe it was '94.
As usual, I started the year thinking about fishing with the
boys in Machias Maine, the now famous men's fishing weekend. The
last weekend in June, a time all men should reserve on their
calendar for a long weekend away from the pressures of l(w)ife. I spent the winter sharpening hooks on my favorite lures while watching fishing shows. Spring brought me a chance to try out the action on the local lakes. June arrives and the tension is unbearable. I put in calls to brother Pete and brother in-law Ken and his father Bob, to be sure they knew I was the "BASS KING" * (*be advised this is a register trademark).
NOTHING
CAN STOP ME NOW!!!!
My son Tim arrived home from school feeling sick. After missing a few days of school, I began to worry. No kid misses the last week of school unless he is deathly ill. I forced him outside for a game of catch. His left elbow was sore, but I convinced him to keep throwing and it would feel better. I'm silly like that, no pain no gain, right? It was at that point my wife took over and rushed him to the doctor. Being Father's day, and not wanting to work, the doctor insured her not to worry. As a true mother would, she had Tim admitted to the hospital. Tests showed that a staph infection had lodged in his left elbow and was threatening his life. I had to break the news to the boys. It was agreed that the trip would have to be changed to the fall. Tim survived and is now a healthy silly teen. This was the first and last time, to date, that the date was changed. I believe that from that trip on, I never fished the same. Previous trips were dominated by my amazing fishing skills. Ken seemed to be picking up some skills, while Pete and Bob were actually fishing without hooking each other. |
| I call it the curse of Tim. Also, it was the year that the lake won the fishing weekend as no one caught a bass. | |
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At least we saw a deer swimming across the lake that year. |
| Oh
Boy, It was the 7th or 8th
men's fishing weekend, I think it was
the year before I lost my eye in a freak accident while I was
riding in a side car of a motorcycle and was driving all over the
place and what not, and drove into the sidewalk and hit a few
people (thank goodness I had insurance through a friend)! Anyhow, Charles and I were fishing in second lake and I had on my double-jointed rapala and Charles had his weed less wonder. We both heard a splash and caught a glimpse of ripples toward the shore. Instinctively we cast toward the blue ripples cascading toward us and both hit the trees. |
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Ken, always ready to help his buddies, quickly picked up the video camera to film the calamity that ensued. Charles a well known forester, began to hack away and defoliate the tree to dislodge his lure from the young oak tree, the attempt failed. |
| Then
Pete wanted to be helpful so he got behind Charles and gave him a
nice hug, but this didn't seem to work and only benefited Pete. Ken, our voice of reason said, "Charles you stupid idiot what are you doing. You've grabbed every branch except the one that has the lure on it!!!!!" With those instructions Pete smartly took the paddle away and began hacking at the tree himself but missed nearly falling in the water. Charles then accidentally grabbed the branch with the lure in it and dislodged the weed less wonder. He triumphantly said "everybody gets a metal". It was then time to party!!!!! And we drank several more beers to the sound of "Fly Away by Lenny Kravis" |
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Donovan men are constantly trying to release that need to compete with their fellow man. Charles and Pete say great compete away, we are happy to benefit from your hard work. To give you an example of this we will go to the MFW archives. It is the first day of an almost always, picture perfect Maine early summer day. We are in pickerel cove, the only place the Donovan men could ever catch fish, before MFW. Ken is hauling in the pickerel, Charles is harassing Ken and Pete is caught on a tree. Bob is at dinner. The attention turns to Pete who has decided to read a Playboy while Ken decides to get his lure out of the tree. Charles, being the opportunist, immediately fishes in Ken's spot. Ken turns the key to start the engine. RRRRRRR, no BaBaBaBa. Dead battery. This quickly gets the attention of the Baylies men. Ken is concerned, but not worried, he has a spare battery that is charged and ready to go. No problem, the Baylies men continue to relax while Ken switches batteries and Charles becomes the pickerel king. RRRRRR, no BaBaBaBa. Now the Baylies men spring to action. Hey Ken, they say, what are you going to do now? Ken says we got to paddle home a mere 3 miles or so. Now this is serious, Pete looks up from the magazine. Why don't we just put the two batteries together? Ken says good idea Einstein where will we get cables? Pete thinks a bit, why don't we just touch the posts together and fire it up. Charles has put down his rod, and stopped looking at Pete's magazine. Hey Pete you MORON, don't you think I didn't think of that, but we would blow up the boat killing us all. Of course we don't really want to lose fishing time and having to actually do physical work is a problem, so why not try. RRRRR, BROOOM, all right! Once again when the chips are down the light goes on, anything to avoid work. Now you know why the next year Ken bought a new boat. MFW just has to be perfect. |
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Off
Season Fun with Dwayne
By Peter
Baylies |
| Separating
the Men from their Equipment
Another beautiful day in MFW land, trolling along the shore with smiley clouds all around, and a bald eagle soaring majestically against the horizon. "A @#$ eagle", yells Ken, as Charles and Pete scramble for the video camera. What about Bob? You guessed it, dinner. In the confusion, the focus fades from the trolling lures, and Ken's lure snags a rock or possibly a fish. A panic ensues as Ken's rod and reel, in slow motion of course, departs the boat. This is not a good beginning to MFW, for Ken. Charles smirks, Pete looks confused, and Ken is pissed. Ken springs to action and leaps into the lake after hastily removing his clothes. The video camera documented the anguished angler, frantically searching for his lost equipment. Replay of the footage reveals the pathetic attempt to film the eagle, and the panic that ensued. It also reveals a special sharing and caring moment, men helping men in their time of sorrow. The MFW archives will be searched for this rare moment when Ken makes a mistake. Yes MFW separates the men from the boys, as well as, the men from their equipment. |
Bob, is always making improvements to the camp. Relaxing is tough for Bob, so small projects supply his need to achieve. This overachiever has installed over 16 lights in the kitchen/living room portion of the camp at last count. The hoop was just what the place needed, something to do besides fish, or so Bob thought. Basketball, instead of fishing? We tried to talk him out of it over dinner. When a Donovan has his mind set on something the conversation goes like this. Bob Why? Put it up. Why? Put it up Why? PUT IT UP. Ok…After a morning of fishing, we put it up. Perfectly, under Bob's supervision. The boys decided to play a quick game. Charlie shoots, Pete (aka Lighthouse in his high school daze) gets the ball flush in the face. The ball rolls into the woods. “Let's go fishing” says Ken, Charlie agrees and Pete, still dazed says, I think my nose is broken. Bob has gone to scout out a dinner spot. The hoop is still there, the ball is in the woods and no one has used the hoop since.
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!Chuck "Bass Man" |
| Yawn ..... Another Small Mouth!! |
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NOTICE OF
ANNUAL MEETING OF STOCKHOLDERS
To Be Held
Super Bowl Weekend, 2008
TO THE
STOCKHOLDERS OF MENSFISHINGWEEKEND.COM
Notice is hereby given that the Annual Meeting of Stockholders (the "Annual Meeting") of Men'sFishingWeekend.com Corporation, a Massachusetts corporation (the "Company"), will be held at the Golden Banana* located on Rt. 1 in Saugus on Sunday Super Bowl weekend, 2008, beginning at 2:00 p.m. local time or a reasonable time before the game. The Annual Meeting will be held for the following purposes: 1. To decide when to have the Mens fishing weekend and to elect directors of the Company to serve as directors until the annual meeting of stockholders to be held in 2001, until such directors successor has been duly elected and qualified or until such directors have otherwise ceased to serve as directors. 2. To approve all screenplays for the new TV show Mens Fishing Weekend. 3. To ratify the appointment of Bob Donovan as independent accountant for the Company for the fiscal year ending March 31,2000. 4. To announce any said lures that will be featured in the trip and in the broadcast. ALL LURES USED IN COMMERCIALS BY MENS FISHING WEEKEND PARTICIPANTS MUST BE USED ON MENS FISHING WEEKEND. We will also discuss other relevant fishing business as may properly come before the meeting or any postponements or adjournments thereof. 5. To review the new web site MensFishingweekend.com and make adjustment wherein however whereof. 6. To approve of a price range when Mens fishing weekend stock becomes public. The Symbol will be MFWE unless I screwed up somehow and some one else has it. The Board of Directors has fixed February 13, 2000 as the record date for the determination of stockholders entitled to notice of and to vote at the Annual Meeting and any postponements or adjournments thereof, and only stockholders of record at the close of business on that date are entitled to such notice and to vote at the Annual Meeting. A list of stockholders entitled to vote at the Annual Meeting will be available in Ken's boat somewhere, and only stockholders of record at the close of business on that date are entitled to such notice and to vote at the Annual Meeting. A list of stockholders entitled to vote at the Annual Meeting will be available in Ken's boat too for ten (10) days prior to the Annual Meeting. Oh Boy, we hope that you will use this opportunity to take an active part in the affairs of the Company by voting on the business to come before the Annual Meeting either by executing and returning the nonexistent non-enclosed Proxy Card or by casting your vote in person at the Annual Meeting. STOCKHOLDERS UNABLE TO ATTEND THE ANNUAL MEETING IN PERSON WILL BE BANNED FROM ANY PROFITS ACQUIRED FROM ANY ASPECT OF ANY MONEYS WE MAKE WHEREOF WITHIN. By Order of the Board of Directors Peter Baylies Charles Baylies Kenneth Donovan CO-Presidents
*the golden banana only opens once a year for mfw meetings |
| When
we first saw the " Marijuana
Cultivation Tip Hotline",
we
thought
now why would Maine give out tips on growing pot? Of course, you're
supposed to report pot that you come across, you idiot. We still laugh
about it today. "Yeah hello, do you have any tips on the best
wattage to grow large crops?". |
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Official Boats of MFW
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| 1970-91:
16' with 70 HP Chrysler - On
it's last leg in these pictures (1990). I was 12 when my father
(Bob) bought it. It had 6 plush red seats, 4 back to back and 2 in
the stern. A thing of beauty. I think it was faster than the Nitro
bass boat shown below that has 115HP Merc. Learned how to waterski and fish in this boat. My father let me take it out on my on when I was about 14. Basically owned it when I was 15. Imagine that 15 with a bullet. The boat had seen its day by the time MFW started. But in its day, back in the 70s, it was the fastest boat on the lake. It would pull 3 skiers at a time. I used to double ski with a friend and climb up on his shoulders. I weighed 125 Lbs. |
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1992-99:
16' Forester w/48 HP SP Envinrude - Bought
the Forester boat along with a Ford Bronco from my friend Russ
Pearson. Russ has past, but he changed my life with this deal.
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| A great deal; a boat, motor, trailer, accessories, and truck for $12K. Without knowing it at the time, Russ basically gave it to me. MFW took off with the Forester. We finally made it to the Tressil Bridge with this boat. THANKS RUSS. | |
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| 1999-?:
18.5' Nitro w/115 HP Merc
- The Nitro is
decked out with everything and converts to a ski boat. In '99 we'd
just dropped the trolling motor and go for hours. Hey, even Pete was
catching bass. It was the best fishing ever. The Nitro put a new twist on the MFW competition. For the first time ever there was a 3 way tie for the MFW title. Sharing and caring. MFW 2000 here we come. |
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| * Per MFW bylaws, all recommended lures must be used on Mens Fishing Weekend. Look for the dents and bruises on the lures. They're right out of the tackle box. |
| For more fun, visit our Fishing Sites We Like. |
| 1. Green Lizard - Rig it Texas, throw it in the Lilly pads and largemouth Bass devour them. Be patient. They'll come. |  |
| 2. Salamander - It's weedless and floats. Better on Pickerel than Bass. |  |
| 3. Crank Bait - This Bomber nailed the 27" Pickerel around rocks. |  |
| 4. Daredevle - It's been around so long for a good reason. Pickerel go nuts. |  |
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| 6. Mepps Minnow - Send this one around rocks. Visit Mepps site. |  |
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| 8. Johnson's Silver Minnow - Picks Pickerel out of the water. Use when the day is dragging. Go into the Lilly pads and search for Pickerel. |  |
| 9. The Tube - Rig it Texas with a 1/8 Oz weight. Bounce it up and down off the bottom. Let it rest on the bottom too. Feel the fish hold it in their mouth and BAM set the hook. The most exhilarating way to set a hook. Your friends will be impressed. | 
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| Bass Sites | westcoastbass.com bassdozer.com basstrail.com westcoastbass.com bassfishing.com - Thanks to Mr. Baughman. basstrail.com - Cape Cod bass site. stammphoto.com- Best fishing pictures on the web. A must see. |
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| seagulloutfitters.com |
| Lures For Sale | snoozersbaits.com
- A fellow Trellix web builder possumlures.com terminatorlures.com |
| Outdoor Sites | sportsmansweb.com - Hunting, fishing, canoes, etc... |
Herkimer, NY north to Hinckly reservoir following Rte 28 north. Their is an abundance of Brook and rainbow trout near and just south of the reservoir. Just south to Herkimer from that point, you can find all the brown trout you can want. The creek is stocked yearly in the spring. Thanks to Joe Cirelli. |
| Title |
Price
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Qty
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E-Mail
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Delivery | Comments |
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$40
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8 - 10 Weeks | ||
We'll pay
you
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It rained | ||
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$25
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4 - 8 Weeks |
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free
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Instantly | Chuck
tounges a fish
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| Never
before has anyone so blatantly displayed their lure choice prior
to competition. Odds on favorite for the year's most outstanding
lure is the Bomber, the brown one that mimics a crayfish. Mr.
Bass will never suspect a thing. Too bad Chuck doesn't have it. Too bad Pete doesn't have it. Too bad Bob doesn't, er ah, forget it, he doesn't matter. Only Ken has it. Stay tuned to see if anyone else is so bold as to preview their lures prior to the June 2000 MFW tournament.
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