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Don't Break A Nut...

felix toast




Dilbert's Words of Wisdom 


1. I can please only one person per day. 
   Today is not your day. 
   Tomorrow's not looking good either. 

2. I love deadlines. 
   I especially love the swooshing sound 
   they make as they go flying by.

3. Am I getting smart with you? 
   How would you know? 

4. I'd explain it to you, 
   but your brain would explode.

5. Someday we'll look back on this  
   and plow into a parked car.

6. There are very few personal problems 
   that cannot be solved through a suitable   
   application of high explosives.

7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you 
   how to get along without it.

8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, 
   and some days you're the statue.

9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. 
   If he isn't there the first time you need him,
   chances are you won't be needing him again.

10. I don't have an attitude problem. 
    You have a perception problem.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars 
    in the sky and thought to myself - 
    "Where the hell is the ceiling???"

12. My reality check bounced.

13. On the keyboard of life, 
    always keep one finger on the escape key.

14. I don't suffer from stress - I'm a carrier . . .

15. You're slower than a herd of turtles 
    stampeding through Peanut Butter!

16. Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, 
    cuz, like, you're crunchy 
    and taste good with ketchup.

17. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo... And,

18. Never argue with an idiot. 
    They drag you down to their level 
    then beat you with experience.







Sometimes you feel like a nut....


Sometimes you don't...