Still On My Brian

Justin ducked his head to prevent the screaming wind from stinging his face anymore than it already was, shivering even in the warm temperature. He checked over his shoulder before getting in the car. He was amazed more and more each day by the gall of these reporters. He just wanted to be left alone.

He inhaled deeply, felling her warm hands roam over his chest, her silky smooth skin against his back. He turned around in her arms and started into her deep, dark brown eyes, strands of her golden hair tickling her cheeks. He silently tucked a stray piece behind her ear, his fingers falling down her neck, over her chin, and landing on her lips where they rubbed back and forth gently. He licked his own absently and smiled when he heard her sigh, his eyes moving up from her lips to meet her own.

“I love you Jamie…” he whispered.

Her face fell and she looked down to avoid his eyes. She felt him tense up against her and slowly back away. “It’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just not…”

“Let me guess, in love with me?” She looked up again, her eyes pleading for him to understand. He sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. “Why? Why don’t you care?”

She moved to put her hand on his shoulder but he shimmied away. “Justin, you’re being difficult.”

His astonished eyes shot up to her. “I’m being difficult? You just fucking told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you meant it.”

She sat down next to him on the bed and cocked her head to the side to examine him. “It’s not the end of the world Justin. There are more important things in life.” He snorted a laugh but said nothing. “Listen, love isn’t really that big of a deal. We can still have… fun without love.”

He shook his head back and forth in disbelief. “I really thought you were different.”

She shrugged, a smile twitching at her lips. “From what?”

“From them!”

“From who?”

He groaned and fell back on the bed. Her hands started to move from his stomach down. “Don’t,” he growled, throwing her hand away.

“Fine! If you want to throw away a three month relationship over something as stupid and petty as this, then just… fine!” She grabbed her clothes and started to walk to the door, lingering to see if he would call her back.

“I just want to be left alone…” he mumbled. She turned on her heels. A few seconds later, the front door slammed shut, and he knew she wasn’t coming back any time soon.


He turned off the highway to his house to ride down the barren country roads. He didn’t know where he was going, he just wanted to get away. The scenery was beautiful even in the darkness but he wasn’t paying any attention to it. All he saw was darkness and the road that stretched out for miles in front of him.

The doorbell ringing forced him out of his dreamless sleep. He moaned and dragged himself from the warm comfort of his bed after the incessant noise didn’t stop. It was the first time he had really slept all week. He didn’t know what he expected to see as he stumbled out of the room but her tear stained face was defiantly not one of them.

“Wha-what are you doing here?” he stammered.

“I need you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

He leaned against the doorway, looking her over and debating whether he believed her words or not. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? I need you. I realized how stupid I was and I…” She moved into the house and cautiously put her hands on his shoulders. “I- I love you.”

His heart soared at those three words. “You do?” She nodded slowly, tears brimming in her eyes again. He couldn’t stand to see her look so hurt like that. Slowly he pulled her hands away from where they were locked at his shoulders to wrap around his waist before he pulled her into a hug. Her smell was intoxicating. “Thank you…”

“For what?” she asked, pulling away.

“For loving me for me.”


Beautiful days are long gone
I can't seem to breathe
Feels like it hasn't been that long
Since you walked away from me

He punched the steering wheel in anger. “You’re so fucking stupid Timberlake!” He seriously thought she was different. Thought she had changed. He rolled his head around on his shoulders to release some of the tension building there. His surroundings were beginning to become unfamiliar as he drove further and further away from the busy city. It was getting darker if possible and his eyes were beginning to droop. He needed to find somewhere to sleep soon. A motel began to come into view. It was pretty run down and dumpy but it was a bed for the night. He wasn’t picky.

He looked around the gloomy room with disgust and threw his key on the table before falling backwards on the bed. He ran his fingers through his curls before taking his cell phone out of his pocket. Twenty-seven new voicemails. He rolled his eyes as he listened to everyone he knew and their brothers asking where he was. He threw it down on the table and rolled over, letting his sleepiness take him over.

She stroked through his curls as they lay there, her soft eyes taking in every inch of him.

“I missed you baby…”

He grinned. “I missed you too. What changed your mind about… you know?”

“I was in a bad mood when I said that and I have regretted it so much since then. I just was sitting at home thinking about…you.” She dragged her finger across his chin and tapped his nose. “I just remembered how much I missed you and how much you meant to me.” He rolled onto his stomach, enjoying the feeling of her long nails tickling his back. “You are my light Justin, I can’t live without you.”

He smiled to himself. “You can’t comprehend how much you mean to me Jamie. I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to without you. There would be no reason for me being here without you on my side.” He felt her tongue start to caress his ear before she whispered into it softly.

“Enough with this mushy crap. I love you, you love me, end of story. Now how about you express you’re love to me instead of talking about it.” He grinned and flipped her over onto her back.

“I’m so glad you came back to me…”

“Yeah… Me too… I uh… I… Uh… well forgot what I was going to say.” She giggled. He laughed slightly too, still annoyed by her lack of verbal skills. She was never exactly the smartest cookie in the jar but that’s what made her special… right? So she couldn’t exactly reach his mental capacity but she tried… sometimes. She was a blonde and ditzy but sometimes that was cute. He licked his lips, waiting for her to make the first, move, testing her without her knowing. She did of course. He was a little put off by the way she approached him, she had more confidence than she normally did. He tried to push it to the back of his mind and just concentrate on her. Thinking could come later.


Now I can try to act real strong
But you and I both know
I still think of you that way
And you should know, that…


He rolled over and stared at the clock. 2:36 am. He groaned and slid out of bed after convincing himself he wasn’t going to sleep anymore and walking over to the door. Propping it open with a shoe, he leaned on the railing and stared out at the pool below him. He rubbed his hands up and down his arms to keep from the strange chill in the air. His eyes were attracted to the studded sky shining brightly. It never ceased to amaze him the vastness of everything.

“See that one?” he asked her, pointing out the constellation. She nodded. “That’s Ursa Major, The Big Dipper.”

“Wow,” she said dully. He sighed and leaned back on his elbows, eyeing her from behind.

“What’s wrong with you today?”

“Nothing Justin. I just don’t get what the big deal is about a bunch of shiny light bulbs in the sky.”

Light bulbs? He shook his head. “Don’t you see how great that is? It shows that we’re not the only ones here, in this universe. There is so much out there you know? It’s like there is no way that there aren’t any other beings out there, somewhere.”

“Who cares? As long as they don’t come and try to take over the earth, what does it matter?” Her expression quickly changed from boredom to need as she watched him. “You look so cute confused like that.”

He was confused? What was wrong with this girl? He shrugged slightly, still a little edgy from her views on everything.

“Come on J… We’re on the beach, its dark out, we’re… alone. Why don’t we… ya know?”

He rolled his eyes. “Is that all you think about?” She was silent for a while and he almost thought she was going to answer yes.

“Of course not! I think about other things.”

“Like what?” It didn’t shock him that she had to try and remember what she thought about.

“Like… You!” she exclaimed, excited by the thought.

“And when you’re thinking about me, you’re thinking about sex correct?”

“Not all the time. Just most of it.” She grinned and crawled behind him to massage his back. “Loosen up… Don’t think so much.” He couldn’t help his smile. She could be so dumb sometimes. “Just go with the flow J… Just go with it.”


The beautiful lights, the star filled nights
They don't mean a thing
'Cause you are my star
So it don't seem right
Without you here with me


The morning sun reached through the sheer curtains to touch the features of a sleeping young man. His eyes slowly opened as they adjusted to the room around him. His left arm felt the side of the bed. Empty. He cracked his knuckles before standing up, a nervous habit he had just recently developed. He hadn’t brought any clothes to change into and he was defiantly not up for a shower so he grabbed his cell phone and keys before walking out the door.

He was on the road again in a matter of minutes, coffee in one hand and a neglected breakfast bar on the opposite seat. His cell phone had begun ringing again but now laid silent in the backseat. He knew they were all worried but they just had to let him be for now. He would get back to them soon, he just needed some time. That’s all he needed was time.

He stretched and lifted his feet up onto the conference table as he waited for his manager to come in. He didn’t know why he was the only member called to the meeting but he wasn’t worried about it. That is, until he saw Johnny’s face as he walked in. Justin dropped his legs onto the floor and stood up, waiting for Johnny to explain his rigid stance.

“What’s up Johnny?”

“I don’t know Justin. Do you happen to remember a night, not too long ago, on the beach with a certain… girlfriend that we specifically told you not to get seen in the public with?”

“Yes…” he answered, dragging the word out slowly as more of a question.

“Do you also remember being followed by a few, hell, maybe a dozen reporters?”

His mouth dropped. “What are you talking about? We were alone!”

“Are you sure Justin?”

“Yes I’m sure! We were-“ He stopped when the paper flew across the table at him. He slowly picked it up and examined the cover. “You’ve got to be fucking me.”

“No Justin. That is on the cover of every sleazy tabloid around the country right now not to mention a few newspapers. Do you even know what kind of image this gives you?” he shouted.

He dropped the paper and shook his head in disbelief. “No, no they can’t prove it’s me.”

“They can if you girlfriend makes a statement about it.” His eyes flew up to meet his managers. “Page 4.” It took him a few seconds before he finally worked up the courage to reach over and open the paper. He quickly scanned it through before groaning and falling back on the chair.

“Please tell me this is a joke…”

“As much as I’d like to say it is, it’s not. This is a very big problem right now.”

“I know.”

“And I hope you understand the consequences for this.”

“I do.”

“I don’t think you do. I’d understand if you told me you wanted to make a name for yourself, prove that you’re not that seventeen year old golden Popstar all of America has fallen in love with, shown you’ve grown up, but this… this is not the way to do it.”

“I know.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Johnny sighed and sat next to him.

“Justin… I know this is a little much right now but unfortunately, there’s more.” Justin stayed silent so he continued. “Jamie was behind all this.”

His eyes flew open and he jumped out of his seat. “She what?” he screamed.

“Jamie… She tipped off the reporters and gave out a statement to the papers.”

He started to pace back and forth quickly across the room. “No… She wouldn’t do that to me. She knows what that would do to me. She just… Just no.”


Now I can try to act real strong
But you and I both know
It's hard for me to say
You were my soul


His angered eyes glared out across the road before him. He felt so insecure lately. He kept trying to blame her but he knew that it had to be his fault. Stuff like that didn’t just happen. If he hadn’t taken her back over and over and giving her sympathy of all things. He had fallen for her games and even after all this time… He still couldn’t get her out of his head.

Now I could say that I don't love you no more
And I could say that I've closed the door, for our love
And I could tell you I feel it's time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn't be the same
'Cause girl your love is still on my brain


His eyes started to tear up as he watched her. “Come on Justin… What’s wrong with you today?” He brushed her hands off his shoulders.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Justin! What is wrong with you?”

He held up the paper he had been twisting in his hands, she hadn’t even noticed it. “This Jamie.”

She lifted her eyebrows up. “You saw that?”

He laughed. Was she actually that stupid? “Jamie, it’s ALL over! How could I not?”

She shrugged and pushed the paper away. “Who cares? Let’s just-“

“No! What is wrong with you?” he screamed. “You ruined my life!”

“But… but…” He wasn’t surprised to see the waterworks start up. He rolled his eyes. “Quit with the act.”

She stood up and brushed the tears away, her attitude back full force. “You know what Justin Timberlake, I don’t need you anyway.” He continued to stare blankly at the floor.

“I’m sure you don’t.”

“I’m leaving.” He didn’t answer. “Did you hear me? I. Am. Leaving.”

“Good. Lock the door on the way out.” She shook her head and ran out of the room, muttering choice names under her breath. He groaned and leaned back, not even wincing when the door slammed once again. He had loved her more than life itself and now it was over, just like that. She had double crossed him and now… Now she had to pay.


Now when you're in love
It takes time to heal
When someone's broken your heart
And changes just how you feel
Girl I thought that you would never do me that way
But even after all I still think of you that way


He looked out the window, glad to see the sign announcing that he was finally out of Florida. It took him longer than he had hoped but at least he was away. He just wanted to be away from everything, everyone that was trying to pry into his life. He was sure they were all not only worried but disappointed in him. So disappointed may be an understatement, more like disgusted beyond belief.

He knew he was only digging himself deeper by running but it was all he could think about. That, and her…

Now I could say that I don't love you no more
And I could say that I've closed the door, for our love
And I could tell you I feel it's time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn't be the same
'Cause girl your love is still on my brain


He cautiously made his way inside the house, stuffing the key back in his pocket. He could hear her humming softly to herself from the bedroom. He didn’t bother to knock as he walked in. Her head shot up and he nearly hurled when he saw her satisfied grin. “I knew you’d come back.” He stayed completely silent as he made his way over to her, his anger increasing with each step. “Mm… Have I ever told you how fine you look when you’re trying to look all seductive like that?” He clenched his teeth. Seductive was the last thing he was trying to be. “Come over here baby… I’ve been waiting for you. I knew you’d come back to me.” She slid further away from him to lean on against the headboard, waiting for him to come to her. “Come on Justin baby… I know you want this.” His head lowered and his eyes darkened, his jaw clenching and unclenching. He slowly walked over to her and crawled to her position at the far end of the bed. “See? Now tell me how much you missed me baby.” He swallowed hard and glared at her. “Justin…” she warned.

He cleared his throat and licked his lips, watching her follow his tongue as they made their path over the smooth surface. “You’re going to pay for what you did to me.”

He almost smirked when he saw her face turn to complete confusion. “What?”

“I said you… are… going… to… pay.”

She giggled nervously and scooted away from him a little but he just moved closer. “Justin… You’re scaring me.”

“Good. Do you happen to remember why I’m angry at you Jamie?”

“Uh… Of course I do. And I said I’m sorry.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Well… Then I’ll say it now.”

“Too late. It’s done Jamie. So. Are. You.” Her fear escalated, her hands started to sweat, and she finally realized she went too far with this one.

“I’m so sorry baby. I-“

“Did you not hear me? I said it’s too late! Deal with it.” She looked around frantically, trying to find a way of escaping. “You know what I want to do to you… baby?” he sneered. “I want to cut up your fucking fingers and rip your hair right out of your skull.” Her eyes widened.

“Your fucking crazy!”

His laughter rang out, shrill, angry, and disturbing. “See that’s the thing! I know I am! That’s why I’m here! And do you know what made me crazy? YOU DID!” He leaned down and stared straight into her eyes, his face only inches from hers. “I loved you more than I loved myself. I took care of you, I trusted you, I even took you back after everything you did to me but not this time… This time… You’re going to have to pay for what you did to me and I’m not letting you scam you’re way back into my life.” Tears started to form in her eyes but this time he knew they were real.

“Justin… Please don’t do this to me…”

“I’m not doing this to you. You did it to yourself. Now just be a good girl and die peacefully.” Her mouth dropped.

“You fucking asshole!” She lifted her knee up to meet his groin. He doubled over and rolled away from her, giving her time to stand up and run. He slammed his fists against the bed and started after her. “Don’t bother running Jamie! I’m going to catch you! Just give up now to save both of us the headache!” She screamed out when she felt his arms wrap around her waist and throw her down on the ground. She whimpered slightly and backed away until she felt the wall behind her. “Justin… Please…”

“It’s al over now. It’s all-“ He stood up and turned around, hearing the front door open.

“Hey Jamie? It’s meee…”

He glared at her, waiting silently for the intruder to enter the room. “Have a little boy toy coming over? It’s only been a day and a half.”

“I needed someone and he was there for me, to offer me comfort in the ways that you never could.” He growled at her and turned around just as the man entered the room.

“Hey baby? I thought you might need someone to-“ He stopped.

Justin started laughing, his eyes narrowing on his best friend. “JC! Pleasure for you to join us!”

He dropped the bag he was holding. “Justin? What are you…?”

“Sure picked up on her fast didn’t you?”

JC looked between the two. “Do you want me to leave you two alone?”

“No! JC don’t leave me! Please don’t let him kill me!”

He raised his eyebrows. “What?”

Justin sent her a warning look and casually covered her mouth with a kiss before leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Shut your mouth unless you want him dead too.”

“Like I give a shit about him! JC! Save me!”

Justin growled and smacked her. JC was immediately on him, dragging his arms away. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Don’t fucking touch me! Let me kill the fucking slut!” JC pulled him away from her, pinning him against the wall.

“Turn around, walk out that door, and leave us alone ok Justin?”

His eyes darkened as he stared at JC then looking over his shoulder at Jamie. He pushed him away and stalked over to her. “No matter where you go, how old you get, as much as you think that I have forgotten about you, I will NEVER forget.” With one last look he stormed out of the house.


Now love is a game
That we both like to play
Well will I win or lose if I go or if I stay, yeah
Even though I try to hide my broken heart inside
Girl you know me inside-out
And I can't get you off of my mind


That brought him back to where he was now driving aimlessly down a deserted road. He pulled into a nearby McDonalds and finally decided to call someone to let them know he was alive. His fingers quickly flew over the keys before he even knew who he was calling. His mother’s voice sounded on the other end. “Justin? Is that you? Are you ok?” He was silent for a long time as he tired to fight back his tears.

“Yeah, it’s me ma.”

“Oh baby we’ve been so worried! Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“Please come home Justin. We’re worried sick.”

“I know. I…” he trailed off.

“You what? You’re coming home?”

He sighed deeply. “Yes mama. I’ll be home tomorrow.”

Lynn hung up the phone and looked back at the police officer. “That was him. He’s… He’s coming home tomorrow.”



His back ached from being in the car all day but he just wanted to get back home. His mind was racing a mile a minute, most of his thoughts consisting of her. By the time he pulled up to his mothers driveway he was too confused to even notice the extra cars. He didn’t bother to knock as he walked in. “Hey mama, I’m-“ He swallowed hard as at least ten sets of eyes fell on him, three policemen. He looked to his mother who was crying silently.

“Mom… Mama, what’s going on?”

“I’m so sorry baby. I- I didn’t have a choice.”

He backed away as the police approached him. “No, no, no… This isn’t happening…” His frantic eyes turned to land on JC. “You’ve got to be fucking me. You’re here and-“ Jamie casually strolled in the room and sat next to him, immediately grabbing his hand. JC looked down, guilt written all over his features. Justin laughed slightly before speaking tearfully. “I thought you were my friend man…” He shook his head as the police advanced.

All he could do was stare as they handcuffed him, read him his rights, and led him to the car. A shriek stopped the officers and they ran back to the house. Justin rolled his eyes when he saw his mother screaming for him at the door and slid into the backseat, waiting patiently for the cops to return. He felt oddly calm even with everything raging on around him. It was pretty irresponsible for them to leave him alone but it wasn’t like he could get very far handcuffed. He caught movement out of the corner of his eyes and groaned when Jamie slinked over, standing confidently by the still open door.

“Looks like you’re going to jail Mr. Timberlake.”

“Get away from me Jamie.”

She grinned and looked back at the chaos at the front door. “If your mom’s not careful she’s going to be in the car with you.”

“Don’t talk about my mother.”

She smirked and held her hands up. “See, you get what you deserve. You tried to kill me so I’m just sending it back to you.” She sighed. “Like my, as you say it, boy toy? He fell right into my hands after you left me. All I had was go over there, crying, saying how bad you hurt me. You only helped the situation more by that little fiasco you had. He feels all big and strong now, thinks he’s protecting me.” She laughed again. “Got him wrapped around my finger just… Like… You.”

He ground his teeth together and continued to glare at the seat in front of him. “Get the fuck away from me before I do something stupid.”

“But that would only help my situation more hunny.”

“Wow, four syllables. Do you even know what you’re saying or do you just throw out random words to try and make yourself sound smart?”

She grinned. “Whatever makes you feel better.”

He looked at her strangely. “What does that have to do with it? You’re such a fucking idiot.”

“Well, looks like the police got your mother under control. I’ll be going now. Oh, and Justin?” He looked up at her. “Have fun rotting in jail. I’m sure the inmates will love to make you their bitch.”

He laughed out loud. “At least I’ll be away from you. Jail time doesn’t last forever and it’s not like I killed you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Wait until you hear what I have to say. I wonder what this is going to do to your image…” His eyes narrowed on her as she walked away and the police came back. The car started and they were off. He watched out the window at his crying mother, his best friend trying his best to keep his tears back and…her. Her sneer permanently etched in his mind.

“So we got a celebrity in the car eh?” the first man asked. The other chuckled.

“Think you could get me an autograph for my daughter?” The two laughed. Justin ignored their abuse as best he could, his eyes not leaving the window. He didn’t know what was ahead of him and he had to admit that he was scared to death. He was going to get her back. He didn’t know how or when but she was going to pay for what she did to him. Until then, he was just going to have to deal with her being on his mind…

Now I could say I don't love you no more
And I could say that I've closed the door, for our love
And I could tell you I feel it's time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn't be the same
Girl your love is still on my brain

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