TSW: Britney Spears : Articles & Interviews

You may be aware that rap/hip-hop superstar Eminem has made, both on CD and in interviews, rather disparaging comments about teen sensations Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. He has even given performances in which he used life size "dolls" of the two to suggest, well, various things of a sexual nature.

A big winner at this year's MTV Music Awards, Eminem shut-out Britney and Christina, though both attended (Britney did a hot dance number). Eminem said he was disappointed that Britney and Christina didn't present his awards to him (they instead introduced presenter Whitney Houston).

Here at Brachman.com, we don't like it when superstars feud. Perhaps, if all the dirty laundry is aired, Eminem, Britney and Christina can be friends. It's our position that Britney and Christina need to contact Eminem and go over the sore points. Then let Eminem respond. With tensions running so high, it would be difficult for them to discuss these things in person or by telephone. Maybe email is the best way to go.

To speed the process along, we're going to help Britney and Christina prepare an email they should send to Eminem - oh no, we're not suggesting, even for a fraction of a second, that the ladies aren't smart enough to do this on their own.

It's just that when you're superstars, when you've got financial empires to run, time is limited. So ladies, all you have to do is look this over -- it's a gift from Brachman.com -and send it right on to Eminem. In fact, because you're so busy, we'll send this out for you.

By the way, do any of your friends at MTV or Rolling Stone care enough about you to do this? Of course not.

Yo Em,

This is Britney. You know, I really don't appreciate your weird behavior, and I'd like it to stop. "Britney's garbage," isn't that what you said about me on your CD, among other things? So let's see if I understand this. You're the brilliant artist, and I'm garbage, is that it?"

Then it changed, didn't it Em? Then it was, "Oh, hey, well, you know, I'd like to have a professional relationship with Britney Spears." You'll have to excuse me, Em, but I have a problem with the word "professional" in anything you have to say. And I have an even bigger problem with the word "relationship."

If there's one thing I can state with great certainty, it's that the two of us aren't going to ever have any kind of "relationship," professional or otherwise. I've dated people in this business, but I don't as a rule date guys whose next CD would then be about whatever I did that pissed them off.

Get yourself into counseling, the sooner the better.

Wait a minute, Britney, you got off light. Okay, Em, this is Christina. Why would I be upset with you? Well, let me think. Did you say my music sucked and you wanted to return my record like you said about Britney? No, you didn't. You said something much worse. You had a really stupid conversation with yourself during which you debated whom I gave, shall we say, "oral favors" to first.

I know this is going to come as a complete shock to you, but I don't get off on a total stranger opening his big yap and putting me into some fantasy sex life. My life is private, and so is Britney's.

This is Britney again, Em. Christina's right. We want out. We want out of any association with you. Since you love being sued so much, keep using the dolls and we can have our own MTV Music Awards reunion - just the three of us - in court.

If you'd like to email us back, go ahead.

Love,

Britney and Christina

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