Hollywood - Irate reporter Brad Bertram stood in the sprawled and sickening line of Journalist who were so burdened to have also been assigned the heinous task of conducting pointless interviews with Britney Spears discussing her new movie, the name not even worth mentioning. Listening to the outpour of false praise and affection spit upon her by his fellow writers, Brad prepared his standard question he would ask any "soon to be" has-been.

Suddenly he noticed a rhythmic tone from the *ahem* singer per each interview. Reporter after reporter, she continued to answer each question as if she had rehearsed them a thousand times. No curves were thrown, no question to far from the preset manifesto dispersed by her herd of under educated over cologned management. Suddenly Bertram realized that the grain at this moments, was in dire need of a new route. Upon his round of useless banter, he was going to stir the pot.
Sitting in his chair, facing her for the standard one on one, he began. "What is your comment on the constant accusations of voice synthesizers being used in your records?"

A blank stare, pause and a quick look to her management.

"Do you still affiliate yourself with the dork boy band singer who wanted to go into space?"

again, pause and no reaction

Then suddenly, "Only with the love from my family." was heard coming from the entertainer. Followed by, "I can only thank my fans for the support they give me."

Bertram watched as she quickly reached into her top, exposing a micro-tape recorded. She began rewinding and playing sections of it over and over. Then is all made sense, continuing the success of her lip-synched concerts, she has now integrated this idea into everyday life. What better way to keep the low brain cell count on constant reserve. Cutting the interview short, Bertram expressed his thanks to Spears and went his way. Offering this piece for all to publish. It is reporters like you Brad Bertram, who make this world a better place, one dumb blonde at a time.

By Wayne Kendall