THANKS, BUT NO THANKS
February 11, 2003
BRITNEY Spears, Madonna and Jennifer Lopez may walk the red carpet at the Oscars - but the only acting award these histrionically challenged divas are likely to pick up this year is a Razzie, handed out the night before.
This unlucky trio is nursing bruised egos today, while Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and Renée Zellweger are expected to break out the Cristal to celebrate their Academy Award nominations as Best Actress.
The overdone Pop Tart, the Immaterial Girl and Jenny from the Schlock, er, Block, will have to settle for duking it out with sticky-fingered Winona Ryder and Billy Bob's favorite big-lipped ex, Angelina Jolie, for the dubious title of Worst Actress at this year's Golden Raspberry awards.
Madonna, who received her Worst Actress nomination for "Swept Away," was also nominated as Worst Supporting Actress and writer of the Worst Song for the tedious James Bond epic "Die Another Day."
She's a favorite of the Razzies, having been nominated four times previously as Worst Actress and winning twice - as well as being presented a special award as Worst Actress of the Century.
Lopez was nominated as Worst Actress for two movies last year, but lost to fellow warbler Mariah Carey for her infamous debut, "Glitter."
Spears' first movie, the pathetic musical "Crossroads," led the Razzie nominations announced yesterday with eight nods - including Worst Picture and two nominations for Worst Song.
It followed closely by two other Worst Picture nominees that bagged seven nominations api
ece: Madonna's disastrous "Swept Away" remake (her husband, Guy Ritchie, was nominated as Worst Director) and the critically reviled "Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones" (ditto for George Lucas).
Rounding out the Worst Picture nominees were the vanity production "Pinocchio," with six nominations; the $120 million sci-fi comedy flop "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," with five nods; the misbegotten remakes "Mr. Deeds" and "I Spy," with three apiece; and "Die Another Day," with two.
The day's biggest loser was surely Roberto Benigni, who just three years ago won a Best Actor Oscar (as well as picking up a Razzie nomination) for "Life is Beautiful."
The manic Italian was nominated not only as Worst Actor for his wooden performance as the balding, middle-aged "Pinocchio," but also picked up nods as Worst Director, Worst Screenwriter - and, with his wife and co-star, Nicoletta Braschi, Worst Screen Couple.
To add insult to injury, the $40 million flop was also nominated as Worst Remake or Sequel (along with "Mr. Deeds," "I Spy" and "Swept Away.")
Benigni faces stiff competition from falling star Eddie Murphy (for the flop trifecta of "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," "I Spy" and "Showtime"), alleged funnyman Adam Sandler (for "Mr. Deeds" and the animated "Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights"), martial-arts blockhead Steven Seagal ("Half Past Dead") and the only first-time nominee, Adriano Giannini ("Swept Away").
In the Worst Actress race, Lopez was cited for both "Enough" and "Maid in Manhattan," while Ryder was nominated for "Mr. Deeds" and Jolie received her nod for "Life or Something Like It."
Madonna was also nominated for Worst Supporting Actress for "Die Another Day," along with Rebecca Romjin-Stamos ("Rollerball"), Lara Flynn Boyle ("Men in Black II"), Bo Derek ("Master of Disguise") and Natalie Portman ("Star Wars: Episode II").
The Worst Supporting Actor field included Hayden Christensen ("Star Wars: Episode II"), Tom Green ("Stealing Harvard"), Freddie Prinze Jr. ("Scooby Doo"), Christopher Walken ("The Country Bears") and Robin Williams ("Death to Smoochy").
The Razzies introduced a new category: Most Flatulent Teen-Targeted Movie.
The nominees are "Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Night," "Jackass: The Movie," "Crossroads," "Scooby-Doo" and "XXX."
The 23rd annual Razzies, which are determined by on-line votes at razzies.com, will be handed out on March 22, the night before the Oscars, in Santa Monica, Calif.
No word on whether Madonna, J.Lo and Britney plan to attend.
Britney Spears treated fans to the show of a lifetime Friday night - tearing her tight-fitting tank top off at three different clubs in less than three hours
Spears, sporting shoulder-length blond hair and encumbered by a useless handheld microphone, couldn't even make her dance steps shine during the mini-concert at the National Mall in Washington, D.C.