Model and actress Kylie Bax just wants to go to a bar and watch sports. Meet the ideal woman.
By Josh Dean

A supermodel with the flu beat me at basketball. We were playing horse, and she actually shut me out. This 5’10” New Zealander with inhumanly perfect bone structure won’t even give me a rematch: “I know how boys operate. You lose and then you want a rematch. And you’d probably beat me. That’s why I’m not giving you one.”
This is how Kylie Bax runs her life. She does everything once-and wins. She did a movie (The Big Tease) and was lauded for her comic timing. She entered a beauty pageant as a teenager and won. She became a model and got rich. She launched a lucrative racehorse-breeding business. Everything she does works out. She’s like the anti-Dolph Lundgren.
The 25-year-old Kiwi furthers her “transition” from model to actress with a major comedic role in Get Over It, starring Kirsten Dunst, out in January. So we put the ball away and played the interview game. She beat me at that, too.

STUFF: In Get Over It, you basically play the Jerry Lewis role.
KYLIE: Yeah, my character flips over and crashes into everything. I don’t know why I’m always the one who does the physical stuff. When I was modeling, I’d be the girl with Prada heels about six inches high who’s piggybacking the male model on my shoulders. I broke my foot doing that shoot. Modeling is dangerous—but so is acting.

Did you see Cindy Crawford in Fair Game?
No, but she never should have done action because nobody was going to believe it. Nobody is going to take a model seriously, no matter how good she is.

You’re right. Elle Macpherson has yet to receive an Oscar, and that’s an outrage. Sisqo is in Get Over It. Did he sing the “Thong Song” to you?
No, but Oscar De La Hoya sang to me the other day at a party. His mouth was on my ear—so he sang to me very personally.

Enough about him. What about me? Who else do you think is hot?
There are many, many hot male singers. Ricky Martin’s hot.

He is? He never returns my calls. You played a dominatrix in the movie Jill Rips. Was that a childhood fantasy of yours?
Yeah—I asked to play it. I had a great time. There was this room full of sex toys—everything you can imagine, from chairs with dildos on them to chains and whips and guys wrapped in plastic.

Sounds like a Bob Crane Christmas. What did you like most in that room?
A whip and my outfit, a shiny latex bodysuit.

We liked those leather shorts you wore to the Video Music Awards. Did you get those at Wal-Mart?
I designed them, and Leather Roses made them for me. I’m not traditional.

What do you like to do?
I like to hang out with the guys and stay in bed the whole weekend and watch sports.

At the same time?
[No answer]

How do you pick a boyfriend?
Eenie, meenie, minie, mo. [Laughs] I’m very picky. I have bad luck with guys. I don’t know why. I’m a really nice person, so I think I get walked over and taken for granted a lot. I never get angry. I’m very mellow. I think I have the wrong strategy for keeping a guy. I find that guys like it when you’re a little tough, a little nasty, even though they say they don’t. In the end, it’s the girl who’s nasty who keeps the guy.

Is there a pattern with the guys you’ve dated?
Looks, no. Personalities, yeah. They’ve got to be down to earth, natural, fun. They’ve got to like sports and just be normal—not kiss my ass or try to buy me thousands of roses or chocolates or try to buy their way into my life.

You won’t find that with me. I am so unpretentious about spending money. So you really you have no problem going to a bar to watch a game?
It’s what I grew up with. It’s part of New Zealand culture. You go to a pub and watch football on TV.

You are the ideal woman.
I love watching basketball. I love going to hockey games and basketball games and just hanging with the guys—99.9 percent of my friends are guys. I’m not the sort of person who goes, “You have to take me to dinner.”

I’d never say that. Dinner is definitely out. So what’s the worst pickup attempt you’ve had?
One actor dropped his pants. You think that’s really going to impress me?

Uh…the answer is no, right?
I’ve had lots of people do that. What am I supposed to say? “Oh, it’s so fantastic. I just have to have sex with you now.”

Have you ever been groped?
Many times. People grab my boobs. I push them away and say, “Excuse me.” I will turn around and slap someone.

Do people treat you differently when you color your hair blond?
When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me. When I’m a brunette, I find that people take me more seriously.

I’m sorry, what were you saying?
You get away with a hell of a lot more being a blonde. If a guy is drunk, all he wants to see is a blonde. Most men think that a blonde is much easier to get in bed.

There must be some truth to that, no?
I think I’m just as easy now as I was before.