People who whine endlessly about the trauma of gossip have only themselves to blame. Take your work colleagues for example - while the bloke in accounts may be happy to blather on for hours about his latest golf club, he's less likely to reveal that he spent the previous evening tied to a pole while being vigorously flagellated by Mistress Meanwhile at a sleazy inner-city whorehouse - even if someone else swears blind they saw him leaving the bordello. Deprived of such boredom-relieving truths, there will then start an even more vicious rumour which is even more far-fetched than the actual facts. And so it has been with cheeky-faced MTV presenter Lisa Snowdon. Previously happy to expound on her failed pop career and even her favourite foreplay manoeuvres ("Licking is lovely everywhere - it doesn't matter where you do it"), there is one subject on which she has remained uncharacteristically silent. And that, of course, is her fling with growly-voiced global knicker-moistener George Clooney.

Despite the fact that their affair led to her rapidly transmuting from "girl in the Special K ad" to "MTV Select presenter and potential Hollywood star material", Lisa has steadfastly failed to expound not only on matters such as the girth of the Clooney lovestick or whether the world's most envied bachelor breaks wind between the sheets, but she has even withheld simple facts about their courtship, such as how often they actually got to see each other. This, inevitably, resulted in a slew of bizarre tittle-tattle. Lisa was supposed to have twice turned down Clooney's marriage proposals, and even to have taken solace in the arms of Dane Bowers when her transatlantic romance started to wobble. But with Clooney having been pictured snuggling up to Julia Roberts in recent months, and Lisa making the jump to terrestrial TV with the BBC's Poolside Party, it looks like the romance has finally gone down the dumper

This incessant rumbling of the rumour mill gave FHM the opportunity to ask questions on the more important topics, such as Lisa's collection of pants. In response to an interrogation concerning the first time she bought her own lingerie, she replied: "I can remember my first bra. I was about 16 and it was a 28 or a 30 size A trainer bra. I was such a late developer that I don't think I wore it for years - I went from being completely flat-chested to having boobs overnight. I literally just grew in all directions." Also apparent is that her tastes have, thankfully, changed somewhat. No longer can the Essex lovely been seen in training bras, preferring instead to sport more suitable attire: "I like my Calvin Kleins and my big white knickers, though I haven't got any granny pants!" she laughs. "They have to be either nice sporty white ones or something really sexy. I've always bought lacy black G-strings and lacy bras - but they've got to be comfortable.

CASTAWAY!

Grab your bucket and spade, Lisa Snowdon’s on the beach

The "glamorous" world of modelling is famously populated by skinny teenagers whose dedication to their profession involves chain-smoking, regurgitating meals, spending strenuous hours working off non-existent pounds in the gym and getting by on a meagre ration of rice-cakes and mineral water.

But FHM Bionic's cover star Lisa Snowdon has thankfully risen to these dizzy heights without putting in such self-torture. "I'm quite lazy so I never work out," admits the gregarious 26-year-old. "I'm just lucky - I've been blessed with great body genes, I have good posture and I've held onto the muscle tone I had when I was a dancer." What's more, there's hope for the many scruffy and less-than-svelte males out there. "I don't really like muscly guys. I'd rather his body was lean, rather than built-up. And I prefer it if a man's not really into his appearance."