Where you’ve seen her:
After wicked turns in several soap operas and an even more wicked turn as a snobby, bisexual sociopath in The In Crowd (and almost capturing the White House as Maxim’s vice-presidential nominee), she returns to the big screen as the object of Jack Black’s desire in the Farrelly brothers romp Shallow Hal.

She knows when to fold ’em:
“I’m not really a gambler. But that’s only ’cause I hate losing more than anything else.”

Kick-ass little sister:
“There weren’t any neighborhood girls my age, so I looked up to my brother and his friends. They got me drunk for the first time, showed me how to shoot a gun, and taught me how to take jumps on my bike.”

Southern…belle?
Susan hails from Monroe, Louisiana, and was a BMX champion in the state.

Where you’ve seen her:
Working on her tan and her resumé on sudsy soaps-on-a-beach Malibu Shores and Sunset Beach and pulling hair and stabbing backs as one of the stars of the film The In Crowd.

Beastmistress:
“You name it, I’ve raised it. Tropical birds, rabbits, snakes, wallabies…For a long time I was dead set on becoming a veterinarian. But well, you know, all the blood—that part just wasn’t my thing.”

Why we’re vying for Aaron Spelling’s job:
“Aaron is so hands-on. He can look at you and tell if your hair’s even slightly different, or if you shaved that day.”

Can we have syrup with that?
“I was out with a few friends one night and this guy just walked up to me and ran his hand up my leg! I asked him just what he thought he was doing, and he told me my legs were like buttermilk pancakes. I’m still trying to figure that one out!”

The Big Cheesy:
Susan hails from Monroe, Louisiana, and is a self-proclaimed fanatic of MTV’s The Real World.

maximonline.com: Everyone say hi to Susan!
Susan Ward: Hello boys!

Joanna: Susan? Happy Birthday if it’s you!
Susan Ward: Oh, thank you very much Joanna, I appreciate it.

maximonline.com: Is today your birthday?
Susan Ward: Nope, tomorrow

Krista: Did anything funny happen on the sets of In Crowd?
Susan Ward: Yeah, funny things happened everyday…we always had practical jokes and had as much fun as possible.

maximonline.com: Did anyone play pranks on you?
Susan Ward: Well, my trailer smelled really bad during the shoot, but I’m not sure who’s responsible

maximonline.com: Are you a prankster?
Susan Ward: Sometimes…mine tend to get a bit mischevious though.

maximonline.com: No flaming bags of dog poo…
Susan Ward: No, no…I’m not that disgusting.

maximonline.com: What is a Susan Ward prank…?
Susan Ward: I don’t want to reveal too many, then people will expect them.

DLfan: Hi I’m a Sunset Beach French fan and I was wondering if you would accept to be Meg if Sunset Beach was to start again, if no, who would you like to be?
Susan Ward: No, I would not go back. I want to play different characters.

Krista: What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Susan Ward: Oh, that’s a good one…
maximonline.com: Interesting…
Susan Ward: Tell me about it. Krista must have thought about that for a long time. Colgate and Crest…I vary between the two.

sjncomic: Susan, do you feel that your success has made you more leery of going out with guys?
Susan Ward: No, not really. It’s made me leery of going out of my apartment though.

thecrock: Will you marry me?
Susan Ward: No, I’m so sorry…You haven’t even asked my parents yet.

Dizzy: Hi Susan! Happy Birthday! I was wondering, do you respond to fan mail?
Susan Ward: I do…I have someone help me with it but I read as much as I can.

Albert9: So what is your type… jock, smart ass, or artsy dude?
Susan Ward: Jesus, none of the above.
maximonline.com: Or chat room guy?
Susan Ward: Oh, no thank you…(LOL)

Krista: Was it more difficult working on a movie than a television show?
Susan Ward: I’d say TV, cause you’re in a studio all the time. With movies you move around a lot.

sun2rise: Would you like to play Wonder Woman on the big screen? I think that you’d be perfect.
Susan Ward: I would love to play Wonder Woman, but I might be too short…

maximonline.com: Who would you like to throw your golden lasso of truth around?
Susan Ward: Oh, my gosh, there are so many people…I couldn’t name them all!

Smoothy: Is it true that a dogs mouth has less bacteria than a humans?
Susan Ward: I don’t know, I don’t have dogs, but that sounds disgusting.

Willie: Susan, are you maried?
Susan Ward: No, I live happily alone with my 3 cats…with a large security man at my door!

diablosdelsol: How did you like filming the catfight?
Susan Ward: It was a lot of fun…a great time…until I got hit in the face with a shovel and was knocked out. But I got right back up and went back to work.
maximonline.com: You’re a trooper…
Susan Ward: Yeah, but it was near the end of the day and they couldn’t shoot around me.

sun2rise: Are you done filming the Day One pilot? Can you give us any scoops about your character Jesse Hunter?
Susan Ward: Yeah, I just got back from Canada. She’s a tough girl, sexy, confident… She’s out there to kick some mutant ass.

diablosdelsol: How do you think you would do in a real catfight?
Susan Ward: Probably not too well…I’d cry, scream, pout, and probably run like hell.

SexMan: Do you like thongs?
Susan Ward: Yes, I do wear thongs.
maximonline.com: So do we… We love us some ass floss…

hambone: I’ve tried to teach my dog to bark out “I love you Susan. ” He does it sometimes when I give him scraps of ham. Mostly he just falls asleep or bites me.
Susan Ward: (LOL) Thanks for being so patient with your dog!

thin-man: Happy B-Day Susan. I think you are the most beautiful woman on the planet…Taped Sunset Beach every day just to watch you. Rumor has it you’ll be returning to series TV…what’s the scoop?
Susan Ward: I will be returning to TV if Day One gets picked up. Then I’ll be living in Canada, so no more La La land for me.

Y2SK: What is the best thing about being you?
maximonline.com: Chatting with Maxim Online? Hmmm?
Susan Ward: I don’t know?
maximonline.com: (we didn’t think so)
Susan Ward: I guess…it’s the love of my family and friends. It may be boring, but it’s true.

Student: You are into meeting parents? What a great girl!
Susan Ward: Yeah Student, can’t wait to meet yours.
maximonline.com: WAH-HA-HA

jimmy carter: Susan, I am a hunky Russian… I use to be a model…. but now I am just a computer programmer. (Don’t worry I haven’t let myself go.) Would you go out with a guy like me? (I also have a shiny shirt… do you like shiny shirts?)
Susan Ward: Well, Jimmy, being a former model myself, I did let myself go…and I don’t really like shiny shirts…so, that kind of did it in for him. Sorry

VLAD: I really love that picture of you in Maxim, lying naked on the floor. Are you comfortable being naked in front of the camera?
Susan Ward: It was just myself and the photographer, and I’m not really comfy being naked in front of the camera, but we both agreed it would be a great shot so we did it… But that’s the most of me you’ll ever see.

teko_blondi: Don’t you have a boyfrind?
Susan Ward: Yes, I do…

amathews: How often do you work out (exercise) a week to stay in such good shape? Or does it come naturally?
Susan Ward: I usually work out 3 or 4 days a week…and no, it doesn’t come naturally.

Meg-n-Ben: Susan! I am your like #1 fan where can I write you mail for your autograph?
Susan Ward: Estar.com has an address where you can send fan mail. That’s www.estar.com.

Krista: Are you sometimes offended by perverted questions?
Susan Ward: No, because I can choose what I will answer and what I won’t. It’s no big deal.

maximonline.com: Would you ever consider wrestling RuPaul in turkey gravy for Maxim Online?
Susan Ward: (LOL) maximonline.com: Would you Susan?
Susan Ward: No, probably not. I’ve been asked to do that before and I turned it down, so it wouldn’t be fair.

GRIFF69: Happy B-Day Susan! Do you like a man to cook for you or take you out to eat?
Susan Ward: Both.
maximonline.com: At the same time? Susan Ward: Yes. Sometimes I like to stay in or go out…I just don’t like to do the dishes afterwards.

kattart: Miss Ward, what is the proper number of "U"s in the word DUUUUUUUUDE? And what is the hardest you have ever personally rocked?
Susan Ward: Oh my god! Dude has 4… The hardest I’ve ever rocked was in NYC when I was younger.
maximonline.com: Was it a Megadeth show?
Susan Ward: (LOL)

Love Machine: I heard you are playing a snob in your next movie. Are you one in life ever? Be honest.
Susan Ward: No, I’m not a snob…just don’t piss me off. But that’s the same for everybody. People perceive me as a snob because I’m shy, but it’s not true.

maximonline.com: Are you psyched for In Crowd’s release?
Susan Ward: Yeah, I really am…I’ve heard some great things so I’m excited

maximonline.com: You talk to Lori Huering? She chatted with us too… We gave her hell too… Susan Ward: Yeah, I talked to her when I got back from Canada. She’s great.

Love Machine: Susan, what is your favorite thing to do with a man in bed besides have sex?
Susan Ward: Snuggle and watch TV

kattart: If there was no one looking, would you eat spray cheese straight from the can?
Susan Ward: No way!!!! That’s nasty!

teko_blondi: Hi Susan! I’m from Finland! Have you ever been to Finland?
Susan Ward: I’ve never been to Finland. I’ve never met anyone from Finland. Maybe someday, though… Is that an invitation?

NYCRaymond: Your boyfirend is lucky, you were terrific as Meg, can I clone you?
Susan Ward: Oh, no…that would be against the law.

maximonline.com: We’re having a sale on Susan Ward DNA! EVERYTHING MUST GO!
Susan Ward: LOL

Lock: Have you ever been so drunk that you had to be carried home?
Susan Ward: I think everyone has been
maximonline.com: We’re drunk now and will have to be carried home…
Susan Ward: Exactly… I’m slurring my words from bloody mary’s. (Just kidding.)

Chantal_fr: Are you an internet addict ? Do you visit the websites who are devoted to you?

chicago: What’s the worst come-on line you’ve ever heard?
Susan Ward: Your legs are like buttermilk pancakes… I don’t know what the fuck it means. The guy was European and I still don’t know what it means.

Lock: Do you ever feel that you will not be taken seriously as an actress because of your looks?
Susan Ward: No, because I don’t commercialize my looks… I’ve always tried to capitalize on my acting.

pinballwizard: Susan, I’m from Louisiana, too. You goin’ to Jazz Fest?
Susan Ward: No, it’s a bit too rowdy for me.

BFKDuke94: Does size matter?
Susan Ward: (LOL)
maximonline.com: Hold on guys… She won’t stop laughing. It’s creepy…
Susan Ward: I can’t answer that…I can’t stop laughing.
maximonline.com: She’s still laughing…

Slamm: On behalf of the entire male population of the world I would like to say that you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Susan Ward: Well thank you, that’s quite an achievment…

Love Machine: Tell me you most embarassing moment on the set. Come on, spill it.
Susan Ward: It was when I hit myself in the face with a shovel and knocked myself out.
maximonline.com: That’s awful… WAH-HA-HA!
Susan Ward: It was all caught on tape. I’ve seen the footage and it was nasty.

knight101: what’s the wildest thing you’ve done lately?
Susan Ward: I’ve been working too much lately. I was in Canada… You can’t get too wild up there.
maximonline.com: You can get drunk and drive Moose…
Susan Ward: (LOL) I’ve just been too busy.

chicago: legs "like buttermilk pancakes" are probably smooth.
maximonline.com: Like you Chicago…
Susan Ward: Thanks, there, buddy.

BFKDuke94: Can I date you even though I drive a Dodge Dart?
Susan Ward: (LOL) That’s funny cause my dad had a Dodge Dart. That’s what he drove me to school in.

Y2SK: Are you naked right now? I am.
Susan Ward: No, I’m not…thanks for asking.
maximonline.com: You being naked makes us sad…
Susan Ward: (LOL)
Susan Ward: Didn’t your mom tell you never to sit naked in front of the computer.

Dizzy: Do you have any advice for an aspiring young actress?
Susan Ward: Work hard and study as much as you can. And do a layout for Maxim.

Andrew Magyar: A bunch of us are going to Vegas in two weeks. Wanna come?
Susan Ward: Funny thing is I will be in Vegas in two weeks.

Y2SK: Is it hard to do normal things now that you have some recognition?
Susan Ward: No, not at all. I lead a totally normal life

rasor: Susan, do you take showers or baths?
Susan Ward: I’m a shower girl… I hate baths. They gross me out.

thin-man: When you win an oscar will you thank me?
Susan Ward: If I can remember your name at that point I will.

teko_blondi: I think you are going to be the next Julia Roberts! What do you think of that?
maximonline.com: We think she’s prettier… and cooler!
Susan Ward: Wow, that’s quite a feat for me to reach… Thanks for the compliment.

Albert9: Do you do anything for yourself spiritually?
Susan Ward: I go to the spa…that’s about it.

romwhite: Susan, will you be my girlfriend?
Susan Ward: Oh, I’m sorry I can’t. My other boyfriends might get jealous.

weston610: In high school did all the guys use to hit on you?
Susan Ward: Never, I never got a date in high school.
maximonline.com: Never? It’s payback time. Don’t worry… we still don’t
Susan Ward: (LOL)

rthtabill: Have you got any fries with that shake?
Susan Ward: That’s not funny… just kidding…

Meg-n-Ben: What is the weirdest thing a fan has eva done?
Susan Ward: Grabbed my hair and cut off a hunk of it
maximonline.com: That’s fucking scary…
Susan Ward: You’re telling me.
maximonline.com: What a fruitcake! Was it a guy or a girl? Susan Ward: That’s exactly what I said to him…I also told him to give it back.
maximonline.com: Did he apologize?
Susan Ward: No.
maximonline.com: He got away?
Susan Ward: Yep.
maximonline.com: Yeesh.

Krista: Have you ever been skydiving?
Susan Ward: No, I haven’t…I have a big fear of heights so I probably never will.

GRIFF69: Do you like chocolate during romance?
Susan Ward: Ummmm, no.
maximonline.com: Susan is actually dating a six foot tall chocolate easter bunny.
Susan Ward: (LOL) With a big pink bow around his neck.
maximonline.com: Named Mr. Jingles…
Susan Ward: (LOL)

Zhar: Does love counquers all no matter what?
maximonline.com: Like guns…
Susan Ward: I think it tries to, but in others it doesn’t.
maximonline.com: And hungry tigers.
Susan Ward: Exactly.

nuttycanuck: Ever have sex in the shower before?
Susan Ward: Hasn’t everyone?
maximonline.com: Not nuttycanuck…
Susan Ward: (LOL)

chicago: What type of character would you want to play the most?
Susan Ward: I would love to play a psychiatric patient with a fucked up illness.
noquarter: Do you ever go out commando style?
Susan Ward: No because of people like you.

hefner100: Have any tattoos or piercings?
Susan Ward: No, I do not.

knight101: If there’s one thing you could change about yourself, anything at all…?
Susan Ward: I’d want to be taller
maximonline.com: And had X-ray vision…
Susan Ward: And a gold lasso.

unchicocubano: What you look for in a man?
Susan Ward: Good sense of humor.

nuttycanuck: do you shave or keep the treasure trail down there?
Susan Ward: Oh my GOSH!!! That’s info’s disclosed only to my boyfriends
maximonline.com: Nuttycanuck… you don’t talk to "girls" much do you? It’s okay. People get out of prison all the time and adjust okay…

Chantal_fr: Who is your fave actor?
Susan Ward: John Cusack. He’s awesome.

maximonline.com: Who would you want to act with in the future…
Susan Ward: I’d love to work with John Cusack or Jessica Lang.

sun2rise: Are you more of a homebody or do you party all the time?
Susan Ward: I’m a homebody

Krista: Do you like New York or Cali better?
Susan Ward: California—the sunshine makes me happy.

maximonline.com: But your a Southern girl.
Susan Ward: Oh, yeah.
maximonline.com: You like you some fried foods?
Susan Ward: I don’t really like fried stuff that much so I don’t eat it anymore.
maximonline.com: But you got a touch o’ Dixie? Susan Ward: Oh yeah!

romwhite: what is your favorite dirty word?
Susan Ward: Fuck.
maximonline.com: Ours is “poo.”

romwhite: Susan, if I give you the address will you honor me by visiting my web site?
Susan Ward: I don’t have a computer.

teko_blondi: What is your badest habit?
Susan Ward: Not doing the dishes…letting them pile up to the celiling.

BFKDuke94: Have you ever eaten alligator? It’s nasty!
Susan Ward: Of course I have…it’s my favorite meat.

bubbagump: Do you pick your nose?
Susan Ward: No, that’s what Kleenex are for.

rthtabill: I will do your dishes for the rest of my life.
Susan Ward: Oh, thank you bill… I’d like to hire you.

sun2rise: What type of movie would you like to do next?
Susan Ward: I’d like to do a comedy…I’d love to do a comedy.

nuttycanuck: Alright, this isn’t a perverted question. If you are in a bar, and an alright guy comes up to you and asks you to dance, do you turn him away like he is not good enough for you or do you dance with him?
Susan Ward: It depends on how many cocktails I had…and who I was at the bar with.

Joanna: If you had a chance to work with Clive Robertson again, would you?
Susan Ward: Yes, I loved him.

teko_blondi: Would you like to play in a Bond movie?
Susan Ward: I would love to be in a Bond movie, but all the Bond girls are women. I still think of myself as a girl.

BFKDuke94: Susan, do you eat the worm in tequila?
Susan Ward: Ewww, NO!

chicago: who’s your favorite comedian?
Susan Ward: Howie Mandel

sun2rise: Okay, I have an idea. You and Clive Robertson in a romantic comedy. How about that for a next project?
Susan Ward: Sounds good to me. Send a check!

teko_blondi: What is your favorite food?
Susan Ward: Mashed potatos and gravy. Gravy’s good!!!! maximonline.com: Mmmmm… gravy…

rthtabill: How many Drinks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Susan Pop? (I’ll go ahed and appoligize now for that one.)
Susan Ward: Oh, my god…more than you can buy me…
maximonline.com: Another lonley night, huh rthtabill?
Susan Ward: (LOL)

Student: Do you dance? What type type of dancing do you enjoy? What about ballroom dancing?
Susan Ward: I used to do ballroom dancing, but I haven’t danced that much anymore. I like to go out to clubs and just have a good time.

BFKDuke94: What about biscuits and gravy? My friend Amy’s mom makes the best! Susan Ward: Oooooh…I’ll bet they’re the best only next to my dad’s!

Andrew Magyar: We here at tweakers.com have decided to honor you with your own section on our website. Are you as excited as us?
Susan Ward: Swell, sounds nice. Can’t wait to write home to mom about that one.

thecrock: Ever been cow-tipping?
Susan Ward: No, I’ve never been cow-tipping.

Meg-n-Ben: What_sq_s your fave candy?
Susan Ward: Butterscotch toffy.

Odi: Are you the type of girl that would rip a guy_sq_s nuts out and shuv it down his throat if you don’t like him?
Susan Ward: No, I usually prefer to just walk away.
maximonline.com: So you don’t set fire to their houses and kill their family?
Susan Ward: No, not usually. It’s a little more than I want to deal with.

Student: How many of your male audience do you think are perverts?
maximonline.com: A percentage?
Susan Ward: Hopefully none of them…I like real respectable men.
maximonline.com: 86%

sun2rise: What sports do you play? I heard you’re into golf and racecars.
Susan Ward: I do both of those and also love to rollerblade and normal girly activities. I’m not really a team sport player. I like to do things on my own.

Whyhere: Is it true you’d ignore Tom Cruise if here were standing next to a member of the Real World?
Susan Ward: Of course I wouldn’t ignore him, but it’d be hard to concentrate on him…

thecrock: Susan, I’m respectable, can I take you cow-tipping sometime?
Susan Ward: No, thank you very much…the ASPCA won’t really approve of that.
maximonline.com: It hurts to be you, doesn’t it The Crock?
Susan Ward: (LOL)

romwhite: Do you throw like a girl?
Susan Ward: Of course I do! I am a girl!

Controlio: Do you prefer younger, older, or men that are the same age as you?
Susan Ward: Any of the above.

Krista: What was your favorite season of Real World?
Susan Ward: Ohhh…it’s either New York or Hawaii.
maximonline.com: We love the Beirut season…
Susan Ward: (LOL)
maximonline.com: Almost as much as the Yemen season…
Susan Ward: (LOL!)

maximonline.com: Thanks for the chat Susan…
Susan Ward: Thank you very much.

maximonline.com: When does The In Crowd open? Susan Ward: It opens in August of this year.

maximonline.com: It also stars another Maxim Online fav…Lori Huering… Check out the new issue and check out the site for more terrific pics…
Susan Ward: Bye boys…thanks for coming to chat today.

maximonline.com: Hey guys…
maximonline.com: Get thee to the open chat…