I must make you understand how the fish fit in with the rest of the world... or to be more precise, how the rest of the world fits in with the fish! there are several stages to evolution -- Buddhism is the closest human religion to Fishism in that it believes in reincarnation and trial and error until you live a perfect life (in the eyes of the fish) and then acheve the perfect form and are born into fishdom... Some examples of the stages go as follows -- (To be read in any old order)

FISH -- HIGHEST

Amoeba -- the microscopic lifeform is really a waiting room for the soul to think over how their lives have evolved and how what their purpose is. You will find there are single-cell life forms on many planets of the universe living in ice... these are the remnants of the population of that planet, just waiting till they can all be fish and move to some other place that needs them.

Dragons -- the dragons are the next level from the dinosaurs, which is why they have so much in common... Dragons are more intelligent so they are higher up, and have the power to slay evil townies (or the ancient form of townies we now call knights and royalty).

Dinosaurs -- See EVOLUTION - what *REALLY* hapened.

Insects -- insects have small bodies and short lives.. they are better than us because they serve a purpose. Take ladybirds for example. I have a theory that they are after me because theyare cloiser to the fish, and when I die I could be sent straight down to the bottom of the sea to take my plaice (geddit??! :P) in the world of the fish. The ladybirds also serve the fish in that they are the embodyment of supreme evil, taking all the badness away from the fishies so they cannot possibly do any good. See section on Ladybirds for more detail on everything.

Household pets -- fish do NOT count... if someone has a "pet" fish it has obviously been entrusted to him/her in hopes that the person will achieve some greatness in his/her life... for example being a part of the church of the fish... and when their work is done their soul descends through the pipes and their body is flushed down the toilet and into the sea for the "owner" when he/she dies, as they will immediately become a fish and reach their final nirvana...

Livestock -- in future please do NOT slag a girl off and call her a cow... These beings are in fact a higher being than us all and have led better lives than you all... So SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT!! Abatoirs are in fact good things as it means they can reach the next level a lot more easily... If you eat meat you are helping the fish!! (haha Rainbow! :P)

Person -- Some of us live exemplary lives in which we praise the fish and act as their human counterparts on earth. I am sure that Lizee, Unknown and myself will bypass the next stage and become a household pet wen we die without much ado... which is good... But maybe Unknown is already there, you know how everybody said he looked like a goat...

Townie -- if they were particularly nasty in their previous life so they are allowed to live for 30-odd years in a council estate in Whitehawk in Brighton before dying in a horrible street brawl/car accident. But usually they just grow out of it and rise to the upper level and take their place in human society.

Skate kid -- if they are lucky and have seen the wrong of their ways these should die about the age of 12 under the wheels of a car so they move onto the next stage... if this happens then they may sometimes bypass the "Townie" stage altogether (if they were a nice little skate kid), although it has been known for them to be TOO cocky and have died by mistake.. in these cases they are allowed to be the horrible OLD townies... yuk yuk

Part of the hordes of Goblins -- This explains why goblins are all music fans, because they stil have to get over their "artiste/stage performer stage"... I believe it is possible for them to makepenance in this form and the next two until they are seen as fit to return to society.

Performer/artist -- yes, tis true... famous performers have had their 15 minutes (well 15 years or so) of fame and excess... then they should either decide to end it in a nice clean way (much the same as Sid Vicious or Jimmi Hendrix did) and move on to the next stage... I would imagine the above are just about on the insect stage by now... The King should be livestock by now, but no wonder so many people claimed to have seen Elvis before!! H really WAS here!! ("thank you.. thank you very much.."). But if they decide to keep on going (take the Bee Gees and Cliff Richard for example, they shall go RIGHT down to the level of (dun dun DAH!) - Televangelism! -

RELIGIOUS LEADER -- LOWEST

Things that prove my theory

(I'm not a complete quack y'know...)

Does everybody know the story of Casey Chaos, the front man for the band Amen? No? Well I will tel you a little about him... When he was younger (a lot younger -- about the age of 8) he was a pro kiddie skate(boarde)r... well if being a "skate-kid" wasn't bad enough he then turned to music and now fronts that (rather good I must say :P) band Amen! So he is devolving even as we speak!! Someone must make this get to him and show him the error of his ways...

EVOLUTION

To begin with the beings on this planet were well on their way to fishdom... most were amoebas.. but they did something terribly wrong there and all of a sudden became DINOSAURS!! Well it wasn't THAT bad, I mean they are still higher than we are now, but over the millions of years they got worde and worse and devolved into HUMAN BEINGS!! And we must be getting worse at an amazing rate, because until recently you didn't see townies or skate-kids (I mean in the past 50 years or so).... We must stop and analyse what we are doing wrong, or else we will become no more than a bunch of jesus-freaks on TV!! *SCARED*

This piece of shit was bought to you by Pointless sh!t, the resting place of the ex-Towniehaters.com (RIP) members... join us in the worship of the fish and let our numbers grow!