I Am The Very Model of a Modern Covert-Operative
by
A.
On the Equalizer e-mail list, Adrienne suggested the idea of a musical based on Mystery of Manon and had an accompanying idea for a score. Though Mickey was not in the episode, he clearly would need a part and the following filk was inspired to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General".
MICKEY:
I am the very model of a modern covert operative
I've pilfered information both classified and sensitive
I know the moles from KGB and I've fought the fights historical
From Cambodia to Vietnam, in order catagorical
I'm very well acquainted too with matters politically impractical
I understand upheavals both simple and highly radical
About weapons and tactics I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many effective facts about ways to put them all to use
ALL:
With many effective facts about ways to put them all to
use!
With many effective facts about ways to put them all to use!
With many effective facts about ways to put them all to use!
MICKEY:
I'm very good at covert ops and all things precarious
I know the names of foreign agents though it makes them furious
In short, in matters both classified and sensitive
I am the very model of a modern covert operative
ALL:
In short, in matters both classified and sensitive
He is the very model of a modern covert operative.
MICKEY:
I know our Cold War history, East Berlin and Cuban Missile
Crisis
I respond to difficult causes, to kill I have a registered license
I know of all crimes both cruel and crazily nonsensical
On missions, I can throw leaders loony and tyrannical
I can tell undoubted if documents are authentics or fakes
and forgeries
I know how to decipher codes, the Securitat's and the KGB's
Then I can deliver the information on time, not later or before
And hopefully the next mission will be in a pleasant place like Singapore
ALL:
And hopefully the next mission will be in a pleasant place
like Singapore
And hopefully the next mission will be in a pleasant place like Singapore
And hopefully the next mission will be in a pleasant place like Singapore
MICKEY:
I collect secret information in many different sorts of
forms
From plain paper to microfiche and even written on a uniform
In short, in matters both classified and sensitive
I am the very model of a modern covert operative
ALL:
In short, in matters both classified and sensitive
I am the very model of a modern covert operative
MICKEY:
In fact, since I know what is meant by "covert ops"
and "clandestine"
Since I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
Since such affairs as revolutions and political crises, I'm more wary at
And since I know precisely what is meant by foreign diplomat
Since I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
Since I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery --
In short, since I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better covert operative there cannot be!
ALL:
You'll say a better covert operative there cannot be!
You'll say a better covert operative there cannot be!
You'll say a better covert operative there cannot be!
MICKEY:
In espionage though I'm plucky and adventury
Maybe I'll take McCall's example and retire before the end of the century
But still, in matters both classified and sensitive
I am the very model of a modern covert operative