Another lead, another road trip. That's why they were going down 285 right now. These leads were the only way he'd be able to be with her...and not be with her.
Maria. His Maria. At least that’s how he’d like thinking of her. He wasn’t so sure of how long that would last though. He’d brought her on this trip for two reasons. One was to spend a little more time with her; the other was to end things…
She was sitting there so quietly…
I mean, a lot of stuff has happened. First, they had to deal with his shit, his loner act. And it was an act. Who in their right mind wants to be alone? Then again, maybe he wasn’t in his right mind. He’d pushed her away, countless times; stacked obstacles in her way. Stonewalls and all. There was Hank. Good ole Hank, and his wonderful parenting skills. He wasn’t worthy, that’s what Hank always said. He’d believed it too, until her. Until his Maria. She’d let him in, no questions asked, and taken care of him. She was amazing…
And sitting there so quietly…
Then in walked Tess, Pierce, and Destiny. He’d walked away from her because of them. OK, not so much because of Tess, but the other two helped guide him away from her. He’d killed Pierce, and that’d changed everything. She didn’t need that in her life. A man who’d kill without a thought. She deserved better...
And Destiny. He didn’t get the whole Four-squared bull. Isabel was his sister and nothing would change that. Still he had a job to do. He was a soldier, and that was that. He had to be ready to…kill…again. She couldn’t be around for that. It wasn’t right. Not to mention his not of this earth status…
So quiet…
To her credit, she kept coming. She knocked down his walls, reaffirmed his worth, and allowed him to believe. She was absolutely amazing. His Maria. Nothing short of a protection order could keep her away from him, and he loved her all the more for it. That’s why he’d let her back in. Not because of something that Hal said, but because of her. She never gave up on him, so how could he give up on her? It was unheard of…
Why is she so quiet…
Then something else happened. In walked Courtney, the Skins, and now Laurie...He wanted to walk away, it was getting too dangerous again, and she could sense this about him. He knew she could. They were vibrators after all...And because of this, he wasn’t sure of where she stood anymore. She cared, that was clear. When he’d shown up at her door, that afternoon, wanting to borrow her car again (knowing that she came with the car- a packaged deal), she didn’t hesitate to help him. She was sitting next to him, right now, not saying a word. That’s also how he knew that she knew. She was only quiet when something was heavy on her mind. And he was scared.
What if she was tired of his shit? Sure, that would get her away from him, and she’d be safe, but what would it really mean? He loved her. More than anything, or anybody, he loved her. Every time he left her, he’d always had hopes of coming back, of being welcomed with open arms. But, what if this time was different? What if this was the last chance he’d get with her? He knew she loved him. He’d hoped anyway. She’s never said it, but he’s always felt as if she did. Was it wishful thinking? …
She was so damned quiet…
Could he live without the possibility of having her in his life? He didn’t think so...He was scared…He didn’t know what to do now. Stay with her, and put her in danger? Leave her, and break her heart, as well as his, for good? The answer seems simple, but it isn’t… If only she’d say something. Anything…He needed to know what to do now…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*
“I know what you’re thinking Michael. You’re thinking about leaving me again. Right?” she asked. Eyes glued to the windshield.
“Why would you think that?” he asked nervously.
“Because I know you Michael. All of this stuff that’s going on with Laurie right now. It’s scary, and you’re scared for me. But you don’t have to be.” she said.
“How could I not be? Things just keep popping up, and I don’t know when or if it’s ever going to stop. Why should you get stuck in the middle?” he asked.
“You still don’t understand, do you Michael? It can’t be helped now. I’m in this for the long haul. You need me; I’m there. I can’t not be here for you. It’s too late for that.”
“No it’s not”
“ Yes, it is. How do you feel about me Michael?” she asked.
“What?”
“How do you feel about me? You said that you loved me once, but that was a while ago. Do you still feel the same?” she asked again.
“Of course I do. I meant what I said”
“Good, because I love you too. I know I’ve never said it before, but I do. I love you more than you can imagine. I’ve never felt this way before, about anybody. I’d die for you Michael,” she admitted.
“That’s the problem Maria. I don’t want you to die. Especially not for me” he exclaimed.
“Too bad. I love you. I’d do anything to keep you safe. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a death wish or anything, but I won’t sit back and let you get hurt. Not without a fight” she yelled.
“Maria!”
“ No! I mean it Michael. I can’t be without you. Please don’t do this.” She pleaded
“But”
“Please Michael. You keep pushing me away, and I’m fighting as hard as I can. I don’t know how much more I can take. What do I have to do, to make you stay with me? I love you so much Michael,” she said.
“God Maria, this is so confusing. I love you too. So much. But I can’t watch you die. I want you with me, always, but not if it puts your life in danger.” he demanded.
“But, it’s my decision to stay with you.” she demanded.
“No. It’s our decision if we stay together. It takes two; you’re the one that taught me that. And I don’t know if I could stay, and risk your life.” he admitted.
She didn’t say anything after that…
Silence…
He didn’t know what to think. Had he gotten through to her? Was she thinking of a better argument to present? He didn’t know. All he could hope for was her submission. Knowing her, that wouldn’t come easily. He needed her safe. He was still scared though. She admitted to being close to her breaking point. This was possibly the last chance he’d ever have. But, he couldn’t be with her. She was too important. At least he knew where she stood now. She loved him. That would be enough to get him through....
It would have to be…
They finished the mission for that day, and turned around. Another dead end. It didn't matter though, there'd always be more leads. More road trips. More Maria. His Maria. No matter what.
The End