It was hours later that Buffy could be found walking down the dark road to Angel's apartment. She'd researched at the library with Willow and Oz for a while, and left when they began to realize that her mind was elsewhere(with Angel). After that, she'd gone home to see her mom for a while. Her mom's life had become stressed enough lately, now that she knew of her duty as the Slayer, Buffy didn't think she needed the stress of not knowing where her daughter was. She'd then told her mom she was going to Willow's to sleep over, and now here she was. Buffy knew they'd eventually start getting curious about why she wanted to be somewhere else all the time, and she'd have to tell them. But she didn't care. She didn't care what they thought or what they'd say. All she cared about was that her and Angel could finally be together, and finally find happiness. Whether she was in his arms, lost in his eyes, or just in his presence, what mattered most was that she was with him. Who knows how much or how little time they had together. They could lose each other at any given time, and if such a thing happened, she wanted to know that they'd made all of their time together worth it. All of their time together WAS worth it. When they were together, everything else just disappeared...and all there was was them. Forget the world, forget being the Slayer, forget doing for *everyone* else, and forget his being a vampire..the kind of creature she was born to kill. Forget all that. Him and her, them...that's all that existed. She was brought out of thought as the sound of a bullet being shot from a gun rang out through the night. The searing pain signalled that the bullet had found its target.
The hauntingly sudden sound of a gun being shot rang through the air, and met with the ears of an Angel. He jerked his head up, a sudden wave of fear washing over him. He didn't understand, he didn't need to understand..he just knew that he HAD to get to Buffy. NOW. He ran from his apartment and out into the night. He ran and ran down the streets, not sure where he was going, or that he was really going anywhere. All he knew was that he had to keep running. A crowd of people came into view. They seemed to be crowded around something. Some of the people were yelling something about an ambulance, but he didn't care. The immense pain and fear just wouldn't leave him. He pushed his way through the crowd..only to have his heart catch in his throat as he saw what he had most feared, the very root of his fear. His mind went into hysterics as he saw her, laying there...blood seeping from a bullet wound to the stomach. He kneeled down and took her in his arms, whispering her name over and over through the tears. "A-Angel?" she uttered meekly. She sounded so far off, so distant. "Buffy." he replied, not sure he was able to say anything else. Tears poured from his eyes. He knew this was bad. Other than the pain, and her, only one thing entered his mind. Why? "Buffy, stay with me. You can't leave." he told her, as if that would keep her alive. "Angel, I'm sorry..." she said, trailing off. "Buffy?" he whispered. She didn't reply. "Buffy?" he said again, his voice rising with fear. He broke down in hysterics. "Buffy no! No Buffy, you can't leave!" he cried, all his words after that becoming a mindless, hysterical jumble. The pain in his heart was worse than that of any bullet.
*So tired of the straight life
Then everywhere you turn
There's vultures and theives at your back
Storm keeps on twisting
Keeps on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet maddness
Oh this glorious saddness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your solid reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here*
-exerpt from 'Angel', Sarah McLachlan
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The ambulance and police soon arrived on scene, but Angel was too hysterical to answer any questions. Tears ran from his eyes, and he mumbled inaudibly. < Why? Why did this have to happen to her? She didn't deserve this. > She was alive, but just barely. He had insisted on going in the ambulance with her, but they wouldn't allow it. The police had agreed to drive him down to the hospital, following the ambulance, in the hopes that he would finally be able to answer some questions. He answered their questions as best he could. After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived. The police gave them the information, and they contacted her mom. She was holding on, still fighting for her life, but the damage was extensive. They had to try to operate to remove the bullet, and Angel prayed for the first time since he'd become a vampire.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When Joyce heard the news, her first reaction had been to panic. When she got herself together, she called Giles. He'd reacted with disbelief, with denial, but had finally agreed to take to take the others down with him. Joyce then drove as quickly as she could to the hospital. She just prayed that her daughter would be alright.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Guilt racked Angel's brain. She must have been coming to see him when she'd been shot. If she hadn't known he'd come back, heck, if he hadn't *come* back, then she would've been safe..instead of here in a hospital, fighting for her life. This was all his fault. If she died, he'd be responsible for the death of the only one he'd ever loved. All he'd brought her was pain, from the first time they'd met. He didn't know how, but somehow he had. He shouldn't be there, this he knew, but he *had* to make sure she'd be okay. "You!" he heard a familiar voice say. He turned around and saw Buffy's mom. "Joyce." he said. "You! You did this to her!" she replied, anger and hate rising in her blood. He shook his head. "I love her." he told the angry woman, his voice filled with pain. "Oh, you love her," she replied "That's why you decided to *stalk* her? Remember?" He remembered only too well. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. She replied "Angel." "Do you know *what* I am?" She looked confused. "What?" she asked. He lowered his voice "A vampire." A look of horror and fear came over her face, but then, again, confusion. "Then why didn't she kill you?" she asked. " I had a soul, " he replied "*Have* a soul. When you become a vampire, your soul's gone. It's an easy life, you kill without regret. But then..." he trailed off. "But then what?" Joyce asked. "A gypsy curse gave me my soul, and I had to live with all the things I'd done for a hundred years." A look came over Joyce's face "So you're.." "Old." he filled in for her "Buffy found out what I was, and about the curse, and yet still cared about me. God knows I didn't deserve her. Then the curse broke." "How?" she asked. "I was meant to suffer. Something happened that caused me to not suffer, and I lost my soul. That's when I-" "Tormented her?" she interrupted. He looked down, feeling the guilt lie heavily upon him. He nodded. "Something happened. The curse was restored, only this time it's permanent. I left Sunnydale, but I couldn't stay away..from her..." he said. "And?" Joyce pressed for details. "And she found out. She must've been coming over to see me when she..got shot. I got this feeling, and I ran down the streets. And there she was." he finished. He didn't know what had possessed him to tell her all of that, but he had. Joyce didn't know what to think of him, but decided to stop pressing for information. She could see that he bared alot of guilt, and it seemed as if he actually did care for her. "What's taking so long?" he said, more to himself than to anybody. He just wanted her to be okay, and then he'd be out of her life again. She didn't need him around to cause any more pain. He hadn't deserved her then, and he didn't deserve her now.
*I'm running fast
Can't hide the past
What's up with that
You're pushing me
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to
I used to*
-exerpt from 'Smoke', Natalie Imbruglia
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It wasn't long before Giles and the others arrived, and saw Angel. "You!" Xander said to Angel with rage. He moved threateningly towards the 242 year old, but Willow stepped between them. "Xander, the curse! Remember?" "Oh yeah." Xander said bitterly, still eying Angel with resentment and distrust. "Then how'd she get in here?" "She was shot." Joyce spoke up. "See," Willow said "That wouldn't be Angelus's style." Angel cringed at the mention of that name. Xander nodded, the distrust still clear in his eyes. "So, Dead Boy, what brings you back to town? I thought you'd moved on." "Don't worry about me. I just want to make sure she's okay." Angel replied. "What?" Xander asked "So then you'll know if you have to finish her off?" "Xander!" Willow snapped at him. A long, awkward silence followed. Willow was the first to break the silence. "Does Buffy know you're back?" she asked Angel. "She knows." he replied. "Yeah, she probably saw when you shot her." Xander mumbled. Willow kicked him, hard. Willow was smart, it didn't take long for her to put two and two together. Buffy wouldn't miss school to think after just being reaccepted, she'd been at Angel's apartment, she'd had the same clothes on from the day before, and she'd known Angel was back. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. She kept quiet. She prayed that if there was a God, he'd save her friend. The world needed her, *they* needed her. She looked at Angel, who looked like he'd aged from worry. He needed her more than anyone. She leaned up against her werewolf boyfriend, who put his arms around her. All the while, Angel was lost in reminiscent thoughts of her.
*You're cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem
I'm drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything I need
Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want
I wanna kick at the machine
That made you piss away your dreams
And tear down your defenses
Till there's nothing there but me
You're angry when you're beautiful
Your love is such a tease
I'm drowning in your dizzy noise
I wanna feel you scream
Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want
Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want
Whatever ever you want
Whatever ever you want*
-'Dizzy', the Goo Goo Dolls
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Hours later, most of them had fallen asleep in the waiting room. The only two awake were Joyce and Angel, both being too worried to sleep. If anything had've happened to her, they would know by now. That in itself was some comfort, though not much. "So" Joyce said to Angel, trying to think of something to say. Anything would be better than this worried silence "Do you love her?" He looked up, and right at her. His answer was straight from the heart. "Always." he replied. She knew from the look in his eyes that it was the truth. She just nodded, and the silence continued.
*And I forgot to tell you I love you
And the night's too long
And cold here without you
I greaten my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so*
-exerpt from 'I Love You', Sarah McLachlan