By: Sarah Latta(Crystal Dawn)
The Deal: Angel gets his soul back before he has the chance to awaken Acathla. Spike and Dru leave. After a 2 monthe soul loss, Angel leaves Sunnydale when memory about what happened sets in. He leaves for 5 months. Buffy never leaves Sunnydale.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
She left The Bronze. Since Angel had left, she hadn't felt much like having fun. He had his soul back, sure, but his fear that he would hurt her again, and the anguish of what he'd already done, caused him to leave Sunnydale. It was strange, she almost thought that was his presence she felt.
He looked on from the shadows. She couldn't know he'd come back, she'd only get hurt again. Even if they managed to have a life together, eventually, she'd die, and he'd live on. The pain of living without her was more than he could bear.
And I'd give up forever
To touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me,
Somehow...
He wished he could go to her, wished he could tell her how sorry he was, that he couldn't bear to live without her, that he loved her. But he couldn't, not now. Not after all he'd done. He HAD to walk away. < Come one Angel, just turn around and leave. That's how things have to be. >he thought. But when he looked at his life, all he could see was them together, him being with her, her being with him. < It's for the best. >he continued to think. He started walking, staying in the safety of the shadows. He was too deep in thought to realize he was headed toward a road which would lead to her house.
< Oh Angel. Why did you have to leave? You gave my life new meaning, a sense of completion. You ran for your own sake more so than mine. I hope you'll come back to me someday, soon. I can't imagine my life with you never again in it. I love you so much. Please come back. > she thought.
He looked up at her house. He knew he shouldn't be there, but his heart had been drawn to her, like a feather to the breeze. When he thought of her, everything else disappeared. He loved her. He would leave in a few minutes, but right now, he just wanted to be as close to her as he could get, without her knowing he was there.
...You're the closest to heaven
That I'll ever be,
And I don't wanna go home
Right now...
She looked out her window. She could see that the moon was half full, or half empty...Like she felt without Angel.
He saw that light was coming from her window. He wished he could go to it, to her. The light was his North Star, leading him to her, to freedom. But how could she love him, how could anybody, with what he'd done, what he was?
...And I don't want the world
To see me,
'Cause I don't think that
They'd understand...
< Why was it that...> she thought.
<...everything was made...> he thought.
<...only to be broken?>they thought in unision.
...Where everything's made
To be broken,
I just want you to know
Who I am...
Tears fell from her eyes, and she started to sob.
He couldn't fight it. He hadn't seen them coming. And yet there they were. The tears.
...And you can't fight the tears
That ain't comin'...
He heard sobbing coming from her window. She was in pain. He couldn't stand it any longer. He moved swiftly, silently, then, he was there.
She felt a gentle breeze and looked up from her tear stained arms, in which she had been sobbing. There he was. "Angel?" she uttered softly.
...Or the moment of truth
In your lives...
They wrapped their arms around each other, and hugged like they'd never let go.
...When everything feels like
The movies...
He thought of all the times he'd pushed her away, and it pained him.
...Yeah you bleed just to know
You're alive...
They were the only ones that could ever truely understand each other.
...And I don't want the world
To see me,
'Cause I don't think that
They'd understand.
Where everything's made
To be broken,
I just want you to know
Who I am...
He climbed through the window and entered her room. She let herself succumb to his arms. "I love you." she whispered softly to him. "I love you too." he responded, as teary-eyed as she was. They looked into each other's eyes with the greatest of love. Their lips slowly moved closer together, and they fell into a passionate kiss.
...And all I can taste is
This moment,
And all I can breath is
Your life...
Finally, the kiss ended, and their lips parted. Buffy looked up at Angel, into his eyes.
...And sooner or later
It's over,
I just don't wanna miss you
Tonight...
He looked down into hers, down into her heart and soul. "Angel," she said "The spell we used, it can't be broken. We can be happy." "I'm already happy." he said "Just being here with you. I love you." "I love you too, Angel." They were lost in each other's arms, in each other's eyes, and then, in each other's kiss. They were aware of nothing but each other.
...And I don't want the world
To see me,
'Cause I don't think that
They'd understand.
Where everything's made
To be broken,
I just want you to know
Who I am...
"Angel?" she said as they broke away. "Yeah?" he replied. She looked up at him, and he understood. "I want to feel you in my arms, to feel your skin on mine. I want to go to sleep knowing you're there with me, protecting me. I want you there for me to reach out to if I wake up during the night. I want you there to keep me safe and warm." she told him. "Okay." was all he could say. After all, he loved her, she loved him, there was nothing to hold back for. There was no risk of him losing his soul. "Yeah?" she said. He replied "Yeah." There was a silent moment between them, of looking into each other's hearts, and souls.
"It can't be here." Buffy said "My mom...she's asleep in her room." "Okay, then we'll, uh, go to my apartment." He said, slowly, softly. They climbed out the window, heading toward his apartment in the darkness.
...And I don't want the world
To see me,
'Cause I don't think that
They'd understand.
Where everything's made
To be broken,
I just want you to know
Who I am.
I just want you to know
Who I am.
I just want you to know
Who I am.
-exerpts from Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls
They made their way through the darkness, him with his arm around her waist, her leaning against him, them cozying up to each other. They then turned down the alleyway that lead to his apartment building, and entered, going up to his apartment.
~*3rd Chapter*~
(Skips Rated AA Part)