Written by Lona Johnson March 12, 1998
PLAYING
Children playing in the playground
Spinning round and round
Babies lying in the clover
Trying, trying to roll over
Young mothers out having a ball
Oblivious to the preciousness of it all
My son will never go round and round
His tiny body is buried in the ground
He will never fight to roll over
The clouds are his fields of clover
My angel has different tricks to try
He has to learn to make his tiny wings fly
I know he's an angel and he's forever young
But, oh how I miss my little son
Written by Lisa Thiessen July 23, 1998
I WONDER
I wonder who is looking after you
Who is watching the things you do?
I wonder who tells you it's time to close your weary eyes
Who tells you it's time to come in, to say your good-byes?
I wonder who tells you that a 50 inning ball game is long enough
Who tells you to remember to play nice with others and not to be rough
I wonder who has taken my place
Who guides you until we are again face to face
I wonder why that angel was chosen to be the one
Who gets to be the lucky angel and watch over my son
I know you are in the very best of hands
It's your great-grandparents who are watching you play among heavens vast lands
So please be the very best angel you can be
And please, please, please always remember me
Written by Lisa Thiessen July 24, 1998
SLEEP
Sleep has become to me a stranger
When I sleep I feel the danger
You are taken from me every night
I try to keep you, oh God how I fight
In the morning when I wake
I pray to God it's been a mistake
That I'll find you in your crib
Hungry for breakfast, needing your bib
But everyday reality delivers it's blow
It tells me the one thing I already know
I know you are an angel up above
And you are watching me with your heart full of love
It is easier to fight the sleep
Because then I don't have to wake, thinking you were mine to keep
I've let you go be one of Gods angels for now
But when I get there we will make up for lost time...somehow
Written by Lisa Thiessen June 10, 1998
EMPTINESS
My arms feel so empty
More empty then the ocean would be
if the water dried up today
More empty then the sky would appear
if every star burned out
More empty then the horizon would look
if the mountains disappeared
There is no emptiness that equals or is greater then
the emptiness that a mother without her child feels
Written by Lisa Thiessen June 10, 1998
THREE MONTHS
It has been three months since you had to go
The pain is worse today, then most I know
I've cried for you through out the day
The emptiness I feel hurts more then words can say
I sit here tonight hearing the thunder roar
And think how if you were here we'd be walking the floor
I hear the rain beating the ground
And search for an answer, but there is none to be found
I see the lightening light up the sky
And look to the heavens and for the millionth time I ask WHY
If the falling rain is a symbol of your tears
Please don't cry my son, I'll hold you again in a few years
Written by Lisa Thiessen June 10, 1998
SPRING
Spring is supposed to be the season of re-birth
When the trees bloom and green covers the earth
But instead this year, the spring feels more like the season of doom
My life feels so empty without you, I just can't shake the gloom
Oh how I hope one day soon, I can look outside
With a smile on my face and once again enjoy lifes ride
Written by Lisa Thiessen April 1998
DEREK ALAN
D arling
E xciting
R ascal
E ntertaining
K ind
A mbitious
L oving
A ngelic
N eat kid
Those are all the letters of your name and the type
of little boy you probably would have been. I hope
that they also describe the type of angel you are -
because even though you are doing Gods work now -
I am sure that you will get some days off to just be
the little boy that you are.
Written by Lisa Thiessen April 1998
I GO
I go through the day with a smile on my face
But I also go through the day with a tear in my heart
The smile is what I show others,
because I should really "be over it by now"
The tear is what I show myself and your daddy,
because we are both strong enough
To know that we will NEVER be over it!
I go to sleep at night, wishing you were here
I wake up in the morning, wishing you were here
I go through the day, wishing you were here
I will never not wish that you were here,
that is, until I am there
Written by Lisa Thiessen April 1998
EMPTY ARMS - FULL ARMS
Empty Arms
Empty Cradle
Empty Crib
Empty Heart
They are all the things that your leaving has left empty
but hopefully, one day I will be able to say:
Full Arms
Full Cradle
Full Crib
Almost Full Heart
My heart will never be full again, you took a piece of it with you
when you left and it will never be replaced by anyone or anything
Written by Lisa Thiessen April 1998
SEVEN WEEKS AFTER YOU WERE BORN STILL
For 6 months everyone in town asked about you
For 1 week everyone in town expressed their sympathy
over your loss
For the Last 6 weeks everyone in town has acted like you
were never here
Don't they know the pain we're going through?
Can't they see the anguish in our eyes?
Won't they sit and talk, instead of the "how are you?"
In passing, making me feel obligated to say "not bad"
Where are the people I can talk to?
How do I know who will be comfortable
with me talking about you?
Won't they make their feelings known?
So I can share my experience with you -
with someone other then you
Written by Lisa Thiessen April 1998
All of these poems are written with love especially for Derek
please don't copy them or use them without my permission
