DEREK'S SONG
An angel came from heaven
When the stars dimmed in your eyes
And I looked to the Lord above in love
Cause you are my angel in the sky
And you are the sparkle in my eye
So now that you're gone
Life must go on without you
I often dream of what you'd be
And all the things you'd do and see
I wonder what life would hold for you
If only you were here
You Always linger in my mind
And touch emotions I can't hide
The dream of holding you in my arms
Seems so far away
Cause you are my angel in the sky
And you are the sparkle in my eye
So now that you're gone
Life must go on without you
I know you're watching over me
And in this faith I do believe
I know you'll always be by my side
Even if I can't see you
An angel came from heaven
When the stars dimmed in your eyes
And I looked to the Lord above in love
Cause you are my angel in the sky
And you are the sparkle in my eye
So now that you're gone
Life must go on without you
And I may never see your smiling face
See you grow or see you change
Though you're far away it seems
You are the angel of my dreams
Written by Derek's Auntie Amy Thiessen
Given as a Christmas gift December 25, 1998
CHRISTMAS
Each passing day brings us closer to Christmas
The day will have me wishing so hard that you were with us
Everyone is busy scurring to and fro
Looking for the perfect paper, ribbons and bows
To wrap their treasures to be given this year
The only gift that I want to recieve is to have you here
No one can give me the gift I so desire
The decision to take you to heaven was made by a force much higher
I know that heaven will set your spirit free
For yet another day to comfort me
But I know that as I open my presents one by one
My biggest wish can not be filled - my wish to hold my son
I believe that only those of us who have children lost
Can really appreciate the true meaning of Christmas and what Gods gift to us truly cost
Written by Lisa Thiessen December 22, 1998
TEARS
The tears well up inside
The saddness is impossible to hide
They run down my face
The feelings of wanting out of this race
I cry for my empty arms
The pain I feel is worse then any physical harms
My heart quit wanting to beat
The moment I was told that you gave into defeat
Death had won the game with you
Now I am left wondering what to do
Can't we have just one more turn
This is one lesson I'd just as soon not learn
Written by Lisa Thiessen August 18, 1998
RELATIVES Written by Lisa Thiessen August 4, 1998
DADDY'S SON Written by Lisa Thiessen August 3, 1998
BITTER OR BETTER Written by Lisa Thiessen July 28, 1998
20 WEEKS Written by Lisa Thiessen July 28, 1998
They call me up with the news of a new little one
They get angry because instead of being truly happy I cry for my son
They tell me I need to help myself and I need a new attitude
Why can't they see that the saddness in my life won't let happiness intrude
The pain that I feel from the loss of my child
Interfers with the happiness I feel over the arrival of the new one so mild
I am so very glad that no one else in the family feels my pain
But oh how I wish that they understood that releasing my tears keeps me sain
I have decided that in order to maintain self-control
I have to distance myself from those who just don't know
I know that those who have never felt the saddness
Can't possibly understand by desire and need to avoid the maddness
Your daddy is grieving your loss the same as me
But he is the man - he has to be "as strong as can be"
He has shed tears because you are gone
But ever since your funeral he swallows his grief every dawn
And faces the day with a brave face
While trying to help your mom finish the daily race
I wish that society understood that he lost a son too
And that sometimes he can't be strong for me that sometimes that's impossible to do
I makes me so angry how so many people said
"Be strong for Lisa", why can't they get it through their head
That you were not only my son
You were daddy's little man - oh you would have had such fun!
I know that any child would have fullfilled Doug's dreams
But I think deep down he was hoping for a son - another boy for the Thiessen teams
Well I gave him a son, someone to carry on his name
But our son wasn't breathing - the thrill of hearing it's a boy wasn't the same
It wasn't anything like the dreams that I had
Where after hearing BOY Doug was so very very glad
You will always be our little DAT2
But one day I hope to give Doug another child - one that he can take to the zoo
I know that when we have another baby
It will be just that ANOTHER baby
You will ALWAYS be our first born child - that's the way it will be
I know how much it tears at Doug's heart
That him and his son are so far apart
I wish that society would let him grieve
And understand that just because he's a man, doesn't make his pain leave
Someone told me once that this experience could change me in 1 of 2 ways
It could make me a better person, or make me bitter for the rest of my days
I have felt both of those feelings coming from within me
I try to fight the bitterness and let the betterness free
The people in my life that I always thought I could count on
Like some family and friends - they are the ones that cause the bitterness to dawn
They are the ones that just don't understand the emptiness I have met
They are the ones that give me the look that says "Aren't you over it yet?"
The new aquaintences and friends in my life
The people who understand where I am and relate to my strife
They are the ones that bring out the betterness from deep down
They let me talk as much as I want and never meet my tears with a frown
I wish that my new friends could explain to everyone else
That it is still very common & perfectly acceptable to have sad spells
I know that I have to fight the bitterness away
And let the betterness prevail at the end of the day
If everyone were to understand that I will ALWAYS miss my son
Then maybe it wouldn't be just easier said then done!
It has been 20 weeks since you went away
20 weeks I can't believe it - it feels just like yesterday
When I was pregnant with you
20 weeks meant I was 1/2 way to the date you were due
Those weeks went by so very slow
But oh how having you in me made me glow
These last 20 weeks have gone by so fast
I really can't believe that so much time has past
People say that time flies when you are having fun
Well it also flies when you are grieving for a son
If time goes so quickly for the rest of my days
Then soon I will be able to hold you always
All of these poems are written with love especially for Derek
please don't copy them or use them without my permission
