Woundings and the Forgiveness process.

Wounds and Wounding Events

Characteristics of the Pain

Response Needed to Achieve Forgiveness

"Bruise" Unintentional hurt Insensitive act Error in judgement Slip of the tongue Irritability, quarrelsomeness Gossip Offender is immediately repentant when aware of offense.

Surface irritant Causes inconvenience Creates distraction Produces disappointment Temporarily affects openness Short-term discomfort

Forgive on the fly Consider the logical benefits of forgiving Catch issues and deal with them in the moment Relate to offender with light-hearted grace and sense of humor.

"Cut" Intentional wounding Disloyalty Unfairness Dishonesty Embarrassment Getting even Offender becomes repentent when confronted.

Hurt penetrates Feels like personal affront Violates sense of justice Feelings of being: Discounted, Disrespected, Unprotected, Uncared for.

Proactively choose to forgive. Define boundaries and mutual accountabilities. Choose forgiveness in the moment for repentent offenders. Release hurts before they fester to bitterness. Seek reconciliation.

"Open Wound" Premeditated wounding Malicious offense Constant criticism. Selective withdrawl of affection Bitter betrayal Planned revenge Public humiliation Offender is unrepentent and may continue behavior.

Pain becomes lodged in the heart. Hurt is deeply personal Pain rehearsed, obsessively Wound festers Blame is verbalized Resentment becomes lodged in the heart

Repent of judgements and take unforgiveness to the Lord as sin issues. Pray repeatedly for forgiveness to be accomplished. Depend on God. Establish clarity about future relationship. Bless those who hurt you. Patiently endure the long process of healing.

"Crippling Injury" Traumatic experiences in early childhood Repeated over long period Unresolved grief Deprivation of love, nuture Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse Traumatic loss Terror, being out of control Offender unrepentent and often not specifically identifiable.

Deep wounds of the spirit. Absence of basic trust Feeling of abandonment Deep-seated anger Feeling of rejection Mistrust and hostility Powerlessness Lingering anxiety Pervasive fear Victimization Bitter attitude toward life Isolation withdrawl

Seek help tracing fruit to root. Acknowledge unforgiveness. Pray for inner healing, death to old self, and restoration. Replace old patters with resurrected life. Bless those who hurt you. Continue a commitment to choose forgiveness. Patiently endure the long process of healing.

If you truly understand your own woundings then you can go here and pray the Prayer of Forgiveness - This is so the Lord may heal those wounds within. I pray you can do this with honesty, to yourself and to the Lord. I pray these obstacles may be overcome with His hand so that you may truly experience the fullness of His mighty love in-depth. :) *~In Christ Always~* Adrienne