1. Does remembering a particular hurtful event trigger a strong emotional reaction?
~ If thinking about a hurtful situation causes strong negative emotions the hurt is still alive.

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. (Hebrews 12:15 NAS)

2. Does the stress of remembering hurtful events trigger physical reactions or discomfort?
~ If remembering hurtful situations results in physical symptoms, then unforgiven issues most likely remain lodged in the heart and spirit.

3. Does the painful experience bring to mind anything for which God can be praised?
~ Many of us have difficulty admitting we sometimes have anger toward God. We make mistakes, or we suffer because of the sins others inflict upon us, and then we hold God responsible.

A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord. (Proverbs 19:3)

4. Can the offending party be thought of with a sincere wish that good things will happen in his or her life?
~ Forgiveness restores love and promotes reconciliation. The apostle Paul taught the bickering Corinthian churh members:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)

The Lord says to use very clearly every day,"Forgive!"
Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not. (Romans 12:14 NAS)

5. Do you have a complete sense that forgiveness really has been accomplished?
~ Are you being honest with yourself about how you really feel? Is forgiveness coming from your heart, or are you just going through the motions without real forgiveness?

Check your feelings and symptoms.

• Do you generally feel "okay" about them with no ense of lingering hurt or bitterness?
• Do you feel a loving warmth and desire for their success and happiness?
• Do you feel an empathetic hurt for their hurts without a private sense of pleasure that perhaps they are getting what they deserve?
• Do you miss having fellowship with them and wish you could restore relationships (even if wisdom says you can't)?
• If you happened to see them walking down the sidewalk toward you, would you be happy for the encounter, or would you want to cross the street to the otherside, or duck into a store to avoid having to meet them?
• Are you able to feel comfortable about opportunities of being around them? If invited to a meeting or a party which they are likely to attend, would that spark a joy in your heart for the opportunity to see them, or would you decline to attend?