sound investments

4/27/99

Dawdled getting ready for school this morning, so I was running late and decided to park on campus instead of the lot ten minutes away. Went to class and rehearsal, left for lunch and didn't realize until I was standing in the parking lot (ten minutes away) that I'd walked right past my car. What a dolt.

I got my first piece of fan mail yesterday. Woo-hoo! Oh wait, not counting the guy who wrote offering to shave my head and pay me for the experience. That was cool. (I didn't take him up on it.)

I was more annoyed than usual with my section today. It's gone past the point of minor grievance and into unfairness. I am being unfair. I am keeping my mouth shut. These kids (ha, I say kids, one of them is older than I) can't match styles, with each other, with me, with the rest of the band. They haven't learned to listen.

Shared woeful tales of missing students with a fellow teacher this evening. His trombone students are disappearing, too. The band director stopped by Brian's room to tell him that this one kid wasn't coming any more, and Brian got kinda pissy and called the kid. Feigned innocence. "Is Ian coming to his lesson? What's up, man, something come up?" He fed this poor kid a line of guilt, which is exactly what the little bastard deserved. Quit lessons, and doesn't even have the balls to tell his teacher.

Reminded me of my experience teaching in a different school last year. I started out with ten students there, and they dropped one by one, until I had two. (And then there were none.) Of course, the two I had left were at 1:30 and 5:30, and there was no way either of them could come at a different time.

It was awful. First, Courtney never showed up at all. I never met her. Then Jason stopped coming. The horrid little brat--his lesson was during his fucking band class, and I could see him sitting in band class, but he never came to his lesson. I was vindicated when he got a II at solo and ensemble. Then the others went...slowly.... I didn't mind so much, but the little fuckers never told me that they were quitting. They just stopped showing up.

The worst, though, was Lucas. Lucas...god. I still haven't come to terms with Lucas yet. I was scarred by Lucas. See, Lucas spent all of a semester comparing me to his previous teacher, Wes. Wes happens to be one of my closest friends at MSU. All semester long, Wes this, Wes that. One of my more loyal (and dramatic) students would come to his lessons all upset, saying, "Lucas was comparing you to Wes again today!"

Lucas seemed to warm up to me. He agreed with me. He practiced. He did well at solo and ensemble. And then he quit. No note, no "sorry", no nothing. I'd see him sneak into the band room to get his horn, right after school. Sometimes he'd have a rock band rehearsal, in the band room, during his scheduled lesson time. Finally, I asked his band director, who didn't have any idea what was going on. (normal.)

It was my loyal tattle-tale student who told me: Lucas was driving to East Lansing every week to study with Wes. I never asked Wes about it. He avoided my eyes for months. He still stammers when he talks with me about his students.

I entertained thoughts of calling up Lucas's house and talking to his parents. I considered drafting a letter, saying something to the effect of: "Lucas has missed eight consecutive lessons...at $11 per half hour, that would be...." In the end, I turned the other cheek. What can you do? The kid didn't like me.

Someday I'll learn how to take it when irresponsible kids pull shit. My mother never, ever let me do shit like that, so I had no idea that it actually happens; that parents are that lenient. I can understand parents giving in when a kid doesn't want to take music lessons any more. It's stupid, but I understand. I just can't accept that a parent would let a kid ignore someone, showing disrespect for a teacher who's put in time and energy. And emotion. That's what the parents don't understand--teachers invest in students. We invest in their kids. It's hard when we're let down.