ignorance and marshmallows6/10/99 It’s very late and I really was sleepy when I got off the phone an hour or so ago, but now I seem to have gotten a second wind. Not that I wanted a second wind. Staying up till 4 am is what causes me to sleep until the afternoon. Not only am I unproductive and lazy, but I miss out on the cool part of the day. Next week I have to be at school at 1 pm every day, and I’m going to have to set my alarm. Ridiculous. I must have spoken to at least a dozen different people on the phone today. Straightening out my car-details with the body shop, working out my tax refund review (my first audit, at the age of 23...so worldly,) keeping my dad up-to-date on all the car and tax issues, keeping John up-to-date, and so on. On top of the plain old non-business conversations and a couple of wrong numbers. I’ve spent all day on the damn phone. I’m not really being audited. My state tax return is being questioned because they don’t believe I actually paid all the rent that I did last year. My Homestead Return is under review. Come on, guys, I work part-time and live in college towns, of course I pay a ton of rent. So I have to get signed statements from my landlords to prove myself. Not worrisome, just irritating paperwork. I knew it was coming, though. John got his refund back a month ago, and we sent them in on the same day. And the body shop is so irritating. I hate that I was in an accident that wasn’t my fault, and I have to deal with all this. Borrowing a car, paying my deductible, chasing down the fucker who hit me to get the deductible back. It’s all a conspiracy to punish the poor. If I were wealthy, I’d be able to afford the good insurance that would take care of contacting his insurance company, I’d have rental coverage so I wouldn’t have to PAY money in order to go out and EARN money. But I can’t afford the good insurance, because I’m poor, so I become poorer. Ack. That issue comes up again and again with me. I get so upset that my argument isn’t even coherent. If I were arguing with someone who cared, that person would think I was ignorant and dismiss me once again. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s...ahh, for fuck’s sake, I don’t know what it is. Someone who’s ignorant probably doesn’s know what ignorance is, right? Because they’re ignorant. But how can someone know what ignorance is if that person is not ignorant? The only people who think ignorance is bliss are people who are not ignorant. They only think it’s bliss because they aren’t there. Grass is greener complex. Who are the educated people to say what ignorance is or what it isn’t? Look at me, all philosophical tonight. Blah, blah, blah. Julia stayed out all night last night, that little tramp, and she didn’t come home until late in the afternoon. I wonder what in the hell she does all that time? I mean, come on, it’s not like she’s sexually...inclined. She can’t really be sniffing stuff for 20 straight hours. She was resting quietly on the floor this evening when some demon got into me and forced me to thud a marshmallow against her side. It made the sweetest little “plunk” sound and bounced onto the floor. And she ate it. Tried to, anyway. Who knew that cats liked marshmallows? She’d lick it and it’d roll, so she’d try to hold it with one paw, but it squeezed away from her every time. When she tried to bite it, it squished out and escaped. What fun. Of course, I’m the one who had to pry the slimy-sticky wad from the carpet.
|