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Georgia is so goddamn friendly7/21/99 John and I set up a mirror behind the desk. Now when some high school snot pops up in ICQ and says, “a/s/l” I can roll my eyes at myself. I did absolutely nothing today. More housewife-ishness. I did go to work out again—two days in a row. I may be a housewife, but I’ll be a buff one. Today when I was huffing away on the stationary bike a woman came in, probably about my age or a little younger. She said hi as she walked by, and then hardly looked at me when she said, “Youwereattheredroostertheothernightweren’tyou.” (me) “Huh?” “Didn’t you go to the Red Rooster the other night?” “Oh! Yeah....” Then I recognized her as the waitress from the bar, just as she reminded me that she’d been my waitress. Wow. Bonding moment. I’ve been to the bar once, she was my waitress, and she knew me. We made some weather-related small talk, then some gym-related, until she said she had to go to work. People here are so damn friendly. Michigan is a pretty standoff-ish state, and Ann Arbor, where I lived for four years, is very private. I feel out of place. On my first day in Georgia, we were unloading the moving van, and this random chick walked up to me and introduced herself. She’s lonely, she says. Hanging out all day by herself, recently married to an airman. Starts teaching biology in the fall. She wants me to “stop by” and talk. And you know why I haven’t? (I’m so ashamed...so very ashamed....) She’s from Utah, and so friendly...that means one thing to me. Ahem... She’s probably Mormon.Before you decide I’m a terrible, prejudiced person, I must explain: I’m a crazy, immoral, amoral woman. I have a...well...vulgar sense of humor. And a potty-mouth that would frighten a sailor. I do believe in God; truth be told, I was raised as a Methodist and I still feel a part of that denomination, but I am Totally Irreverent. This poor woman, whose name I cannot remember (I am so ashamed,) would not approve of me one bit. Not One Bit.How am I sure she’s Mormon? I’m not. But I have strong senses of gaydar and judar, and John’s Latter-Day-Saint-dar has rubbed off on me a bit. I’ll be very surprised if this woman doesn’t turn out to disapprove of me. I’m sure I’ll crack. I’ll bake oatmeal cookies and toddle on up to her apartment one of these days. I’ll casually mention that I lived with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years with no plans of marriage and see what she has to say. If all else fails, maybe I’ll tell her I’m bi. And hey. If she’s NOT Mormon, who knows what could happen? Hell, I’m going tomorrow!
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