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 The Offspring Conspiracy of One Columbia This is the tragic sound of ageing men in baggy shorts and daft haircuts refusing to grow old with dignity, which I guess to some extent, is what punk rock is about. However I always thought punk was about ideas, flair, passion and creativity. I always thought punk rock had a duty to question accepted ideals, to challenge authority, and to produce kick ass rock n roll. Sadly none of these things can be found on this, terrible, dull, tepid new long player from those punk rock stalwarts, The Offspring. For a start the tunes are sub-sub-sub Descendents wank, that say nothing more profound than “Wow man, getting drunk is like, rad”, and that voice, that horrible horrible voice. The sound of badgers fucking. The sound of teeth on pavement. It makes me want to throw things at my stereo. The record just doesn’t say anything about my life, and I can’t imagine whose life it would. This is the sound of rebellion as product. Only rather than enforcing change, sharing ideas, and for fucks sake, making an intelligent point, rebellion to the Offspring is custard pies and bad language. Is this what rock n roll has come to? Can the kids in baggy shorts and Korn tee shirts who will inevitably buy this in droves, head for the Dead Kennedys/Germs/Heartbreakers section in their record shops instead. Youth of today, I plead with you, PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR TEENAGEYEARS. 1/10 James Jam
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