I woke up, naked, warm, happy. I rolled over onto my stomach and sighed contentedly. Dave sat across from me in the armchair, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Good morning,” he smiled.
Half of the candles had gone out, and the flower petals were turning brown. The strong smell of coffee replaced their sweet aroma.
“How are you feeling?”
“Never better,” I sighed again. I wanted to stay there forever.
“Want some coffee?”
“Sure.”
“You were great last night,” he paused to smirk, “in the play, I mean. I forgot to tell you that.”
“You weren’t so bad yourself,” I giggled.
“With a smile like that,” he came over and squatted down so that we were eye level, “everyone’s going to know.”
“Know what, that I’ve been deflowered?” I laughed.
“You know man now… in the biblical sense,” he chuckled.
“I like man in the biblical sense.”
“I always thought you would,” he kissed the tip of my nose and went into the kitchen. I could hear him pouring me coffee, “So what do you want to do today?”
“Nothing. I want to stay here forever.”
“As much as I’d like to let you lay there naked, darling, I’m afraid that’s not quite possible. We do have to do the show again tonight.”
“And then what?”
“What do you mean?” he came over and set my mug on the table next to the couch.
“And what after the show?”
“Well what do you want to do?”
“You.”
“I think I’ve created a monster.”
And he had. I didn’t even think about Taylor until the entire run of the play was done. I didn’t go home or see Heidi or call my mother. I spent days lounging around Dave’s house naked, evenings running around in my underwear, and long nights exploring my newest obsession- sex. I liked it. More than that even. I loved it. I liked the sweat and the panting and the little bit of pain. It was fun, new, exciting… dirty. I felt like a new person. I was no longer the little, scared, inhibited me. I was a woman.
On the last night of the show, we had the cast party. It was a blast. We all went to the lighting guy’s house and got drunk and told stories, laughing and having a blast. It was like my life was perfect. I was the old me all over again.
“Tayler, we need to talk,” Heidi came up behind me, wringing her hands and looking just as distressed as she had when she was pretending to go crazy in the play.
“Now?” I was not looking forward to having a deep conversation. I was liking my life the way it was, thanks very much.
“It’s important.”
“All right.” Heidi was one of my best friends, after all.
She took my arm a little harder than she should have and dragged me out into the backyard. It was chilly, and I held myself to keep me warm. On the way, Heidi had grabbed Dave’s arm and brought him out, too.
We stood there, both looking a little suspicious of what exactly Heidi was doing.
“You started bingeing again, didn’t you?” I asked, for the first time noticing her skinny arms and dark circles under her eyes.
“Th-that’s not the point.”
“Heidi…”
“I have to- I have- I have to confess.” Her eyes were all wild and her hair was messy. Her clothed hung loose on her body… she looked like a raving lunatic.
“Heidi-” Dave began.
But she cut him off, “Sh. You just shush for now. I- I- I have to tell her something. It’s important.”
“Heidi, seriously, you need to go to the doctor. You haven’t made yourself throw up in years. You need to see someone. College has you stressed. My mom’s coming back soon so-”
“No. No that’s not what I want to talk about,” she began to pace frantically. “I want to talk about my mistake. I made a mistake and it was a mistake and I’m sorry for it. I wish I hadn’t but I did and I can’t fix it.”
“Heidi, please, just sit down. Whatever it is, it’s all right,” I was getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. She was talking and acting all crazy. I was scared to be out here with her… What was she going to do?
“It’s been eating away at me for a little while now… Eating… And that’s that’s that’s the reason why I can’t eat, you see.”
“For goodness sake, Heid! I’m sure it’s not at all that bad.”
She looked pained when I came to her and put my hands on her arms. She looked to Dave for help- Dave who had been strangely quiet. He was looking off into the distance, staring at nothing.
“It is that bad. It is. Dave, I’m telling her.”
He looked down into his crossed arms, nodding weakly.
“Telling me what?” The sick feeling in my stomach grew.
“We- Dave and I- slept together.”
