“Robinson, you wanna come over?” Ike asked.
“Sure. Let me just go get some stuff,” I pointed at my house.
“You guys go home..we’ll catch up...” Tay said, following me into the house. My mother was alseep on the couch. I led Tay up to my room. As I started to collect things I’d need to sleep over, Tay said, “So, about what I was saying before...”
“Yea?” I turned around.
“Like... well,” Tay seemed uncomfortable. “Do you get what I was trying to say?”
“No, not really. You have some kind of problem with Dave?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what is it?” I kind of lost a little of my patience because he hardly even knew the guy.
“I just want to know- really- what is going on with you and Dave.”
“What, can’t I have friends that are boys?” I got angry.
“I’m not saying-”
“Jeez, Tay, how many times do I have to tell you that we’re only friends?”
“Well, I was just-”
“Don’t you trust me?” I yelled.
“You know what, I don’t think I do.”
“What?” I gasped.
“Well, you know, I didn’t exactly forget that whole thing with Zac...”
“That was before we started going out!”
“Well, it happened just the same.”
I couldn’t believe this, “Can’t you forgive me?”
“On our first date I found out you kissed my younger brother, you think that makes me happy?”
“I didn’t say it had to make you happy, but at least be decent enough to forgive me.”
“I forgive you, but it’s not like that wipes it out of my memory.”
I could see his point of view, but I was upset about it. “I can’t believe you don’t believe me.” I was silent for a few seconds, but then I muttered, “There’s nothing going on between Dave and I. We’re just friends. I know he acts like we’re more than that, but that’s just the way he is.”
Tay nodded. “I’m sorry that my asking that made you feel bad, but-”
“No.”
“No what?”
“You were perfectly justified. I mean, have I given you any reason to trust me?”
“Sure you have,” he put his hand on my shoulder to console me.
“Yea, like when? I’m always disappointing people. There was the time when my mother stayed up late to help me study, and I failed the test anyway. And then once my father gave me money to but groceries but I bought candy instead. Heidi lent me her Barbie doll and I broke it’s head off...”
“Barbie doll?”
“And then one time my aunt took me to the store for the first time and I took a candy bar because I didn’t know you had to pay for it, and she made me go back into the store and give it to the old man at the counter and he yelled at me... and one time Mommy made me go to swimming lessons, and I they made me go off the high board, but I got so scared I peed in my little pink bathing suit with ruffles, and the instructor yelled at me,” I was reaching hysterics, “and then once my mother trusted me to put the yummy dinner in the oven and I thought if I cooked it at 550 degrees it would cook faster, and I burned it...” I whined pitifully.
“Uhm... Robinson?”
“What?!” I cried.
“Barbie dolls? Pink ruffly bathing suits? Stealing candy? You do realize you’re talking about things that happened when you were like five, right?”
Realizing my moment of brief insanity, I laughed, “You’ve got a problem with pink ruffly bathing suits?” “Don’t get so carried away. Dave was just sending out bad karma about you two.”
“I think I’m way too stressed for my own good,” I laughed, wiping mist from my eyes as I finished packing.
“You’re just a crackhead, that’s all.”
“Thanks, I feel a lot better now,” I said sarcastically. “But for real, I wish you’d like Dave. He’s so funny... I mean, he likes to get stoned a lot and he’s usually drunk, but he’s crazy and he’s nice. Don’t feel bad when he’s hanging all over me. He does that to everyone... even like, Travis... He doesn’t even notice it.”
“I guess I’m just jealous.”
“Why?”
“He gets to spend every day with you.”
I blushed and pushed Tay’s shoulder, “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?” he smiled.
I bit my lip, “Because...”
“Why?”
“Because...”
“Because why?”
“It makes me blush...”
“I noticed,” he brushed his finger against my cheek. I was going to turn away, but Tay pulled me close to him. Because I was looking away, he tilted my chin up to his face. My lips brushed softly over his.
“Tayler,” Heidi whispered at my door.
Looking away from Tay’s eyes, I asked, “Yes?”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make the show. Did you guys have fun?”
Tay slid his arms off my hips so that I could open the door. “Dave made me sing.” I said to Heidi as I let her in.
“Hi, Taylor,” Heidi smiled. “Am I interrupting you guys?”
“It’s all right. I sang Pearl Jam.”
“Good for you!”
“I realized how fun it used to be performing for everyone.”
“I miss it, too. I think I’m going to be in one of the plays at school. They have some of the drama majors put on their own producions.”
“Awesome.”
“Heidi, we’re having a party for my grandfather tomorrow. Do you want to come with us?” Tay asked.
“Cool. Sure, I’d love to go.”
“It’s like, three hours away,” I smiled, “you know what that means.”
“Road trip,” we laughed at the same time, high-fiving each other. When we lived in New York, every summer my dad would take us all to the New Jersey shore.When Heidi got her license, we went alone one time, and we had a blast.
“I’m packing up my stuff to sleep over his house,” I pointed to Tay. “You can come, too, if you want.”
“Shouldn’t you ask them if I can come before you invite me?” Heidi laughed.
“Nope,” and then I added, “Heidi can sleep over, right, my love?”
Tay smiled, “Of course, sweetie,” he kissed the tip of my nose.
“See,” I turned to Heidi.
She smiled, “I have to get my stuff together, and so why don’t you guys go. I’ll meet you there in a little bit. I have to shower.”
“Okay.”
After slinging my bookbag over my shoulder, I lead Tay by the hand downstairs (I almost tripped down the stairs because I lost feeling in my foot for a second). I lead Tay into the living room where I knelt down next to the couch. My mother was sleeping soundly, and so I shook her gently to wake her. “Mom?” I whispered.
“Mmm?” she said without opening her eyes.
“Mom, Heidi and I are sleeping at Diana’s.”
“Hmm.”
I stood up from my crouched position. Suddenly, I was struck with a wave of dizziness. I would have fallen over had Tay not caught my arm.
“Are you okay?” Not able to speak, I nodded with my fingers to my forehead as the dizziness faded. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” my voice was small. “I’ll be all right... let’s go.” I was still dizzy as we exited my house, and I had this weird aching in my lower back, too. I attempted to make conversation as Tay lead me through the trees, “So what time are we leaving tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, but probably early.”
“Goodie,” I said unenthusiastically.
“You can sleep in the car on the way there if you’re tired,” he suggested as we approached the back door to the house.
We entered the living room where Ike and Zac were laying lazily in front of the television, which was playing a Discovery Channel special on sharks. “Hi,” Zac greeted from his place in the floor.
I waved. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I said to them as I hopped up the stairs to the bathroom. I leaned on the cool porcelain of the sink as another bout of dizziness swirled in my head. When I could see again, I encountered a wave of nausea that caused me to vomit. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d been feeling terrible all the time. I’d thrown up at least twice a week since the trip to New York, and I had terrible headaches at least once a day. As son as I finished that thought, I leaned over and threw up again. Dammit.
Seventeen times. Cars sped by as we drove through the rain. I’d thrown up seventeen times the previous night. I did it all very slickly, of course. No one, not even Heidi, had suspected I was ill. I’d pretended I was too hot and had to go change into a short-sleeved shirt and I threw up twice. Then I acted as if I’d gotten cold, and I went up to get my sweatshirt and puked three times. I had to brush me teeth and puked twice more. I needed some socks and threw up again. There was a need for my pillow which allowed me to vomit again. Later, after everyone fell asleep, I was able to creep up to the bathroom whenever I pleased to be sick all I wanted.
Anyway, so we were all packed into the mini-van, putting through the rain. I was feeling pretty nauseous by that point, but I was able to keep the chunks in my stomach by taking periodic naps. Up in front, Mack and Avery has started singing “Rock and Roll is Here to Stay, ” which is why I awoke. I pressed up against the window, and Tay was next to me.
“Good morning,” he smiled.
Crossing my arms over my abdomen as some kind of protection from the pain, I managed to smile. It was really hot in there, but I didn’t want to say anything since everyone else seemed perfectly adjusted to the temperature. I tried to adjust slightly in my seat, but with Tay, Zac, and I smushed there, I wasn’t very successful. My entire lower body had pins and needles. Yawning, I attempted to drift off alseep again, but I just couldn’t. Maybe it was the kids singing. Maybe it was Ike palying air guitar with his headphones on. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t sleep any more. “Are we there yet?” my voice was hoarse.
“In about forty minutes,” Mrs. Hanson chimed from the front seat.
“Haven’t we been in this van forever?” Jessie asked.
“Close to it,” I sighed.
“What’s the matter, Tay?” Heidi asked.
“I guess I’m just tired...” I rubbed my forehead.
“You don’t look so well,” she put her hand on the top of my head. “You look pale.”
“I didn’t sleep very well.”
“Was the floor not comfortable enough?” Zac laughed. It was funny for him because he’d slept on the couch.
The minutes passed slowly, but soon enough we were at Grandpa’s house. It was a typical Grandpa house, with a well-manicured lawn and a station wagon in the driveway. When the van pulled up, Grandpa came out of the house. Everyone piled out of the car, and there was a lot of kissing, hugging, congratulating, and all that great stuff. Tay introduced me as his “friend.” I think he didn’t want his parents to know we were going out... I bet they wouldn’t let me sleep over anymore if they knew.
So, anyway, we had the party, a little backyard barbecue, complete with some birthday cake Jessie made all by herself (which I threw up like, fifteen minutes after eating). We played tag, and then as it got dark, a rousing game of manhunt. Tay and I hid together behind the shed and had a little “rendezvous” while the others were enjoying the game. Manhunt lost its fun quickly because Avie was too easy to tag, and Heidi was too hard, Mack kept cheating, and Taylor and I weren’t even really playing.
At like, nine thirty we left. I was so glad. Not only was I extremely nauseous, but also I was feeling weak and dizzy. I slept almost the whole way home (which was easier because almost everyone slept). Tay asked me if I wanted to stay over again that night. They were staying in Tulsa until Monday afternoon, but I had to go to school in the morning. After Heidi and I had walked home, I begged my mother to let me sleep at their house again, and then I could catch the bus from their house the next morning. She didn’t seem too keen on the idea because I looked pale, and my face was warm. I kept on begging her, and so at long last she said I could, provided I went to bed at a good time so that I could get to school. I danced dizzily up the stairs to collect my belongings. While I stuffed some toothpaste and a hairbrush into a bag, I dialed the Hanson’s.
“Hello?”
“Zac?” I recognized the voice.
“Yea?”
“I begged my mother and she says I can sleep over.”
“Awesome.”
“I think I can be over in a little bit, I just have to collect my stuff.”
“Want me to meet you?” he offered.
“Sure,” I smiled. Ever since that time when I told him not to talk to me ever again, we hadn’t really been buddies.
“See you in a few,” he said.
“’Kay.” I finished shoving stuff into my bag, and then I collected my books for the next day, and all the stuff I would need.
“Tay,” my mother called me down the stairs, “I have to go to the store, I forgot to pick up milk. Have a good time, and call me tomorrow,” she kissed me and hurried out.
“Heidi,” I called up he stairs, “I’m sleeping over Tay’s, wanna come?”
“I have a class really early tomorrow,” she said, walking to the top of the stairs in her pajamas. “I don’t think I should.”
“You’re probably right. I’m not so sure I should be going,” I giggled, not really caring.
“Tell them I wish them good luck, and that I hope they have a great time.”
“Will do,” I saluted her as I walked to open the back door for Zac, who had just knocked. I exited the house with him.
“I can’t believe you’re mother is letting you stay. That’s so cool.”
“I know,” I smiled. As we entered the little grove of trees, something fell out of my bag. “I think I dropped something,” I said, stopping in my tracks.
“What?” Zac looked on the ground. It was the middle fo the night, and so we couldn’t really see.
I bent down on the ground to feel around for whatever it was that fell. But all of a sudden, I got so dizzy, I couldn’t move. My sight got all blurry, and this pain moved all around my head. I made this moan sound as I moved from a squatting position to a sitting position.
“What’s the matter?” Zac asked, bending down next to me.
I couldn’t speak because there was this blackness that had enveloped my head. It hurt really badly, and so I reached up to my temples and held my hands there.
“Are you all right?” Zac seemed unsure and placed his hand on my shoulder.
My legs weren’t strong enough to stand on, they tingled like crazy and were almost numb. Not only that, but it was really hard to see through the dizzy fog.
“Robinson?” Zac was alarmed.
“My-” my voice came out hoarsely, “my legs... I can’t feel my legs!” Zac grabbed my hands and started to pull me up. “Ow! Don’t!” I wriggled out of his grasp and returned to the ground. My head was splitting and pain shot up my back.
“I’m going to go get Heidi,” he said reluctantly.
“Okay,” the wind rushed out of my lungs. I lay on the ground, trying to get my eyes to focus on the moon, but it felt as if my entire head was about to explode. Some time later (it could have been seconds or months, I had no concept of time), Zac and Heidi came out of my house.
“Tay?” Heidi’s face was alarmed. “What happened?”
“My legs...”
“We’re going to bring you inside...”
As they lifted me up, everything went black.
