By Cricket
"Chow." Willow said waving at everyone. Oz just nodded and followed Willow out of the resteraunt. He couldn't help but notice how her ass moved as she walked gracefully. He's male. What do you expect. She looked outside to his car and sure enough, it was the same car he had 5 years ago.
"Still the same car?" Willow asked as she walked over towards the parked car.
"Yep. Surprised?" Oz asked.
"Not really. I didn't think you were much for change." Willow said. Oz walked ahead of her quickly so he could open the door up for her and help her in.
"thankyou." Willow said taking his hand and falling into place in the seat. Oz nodded again like his usual self. Never really was one for using words unless they were needed. He quickly got into the drivers seat so he could put up the hood so it wouldn't be so cold. Oz noticed Willow's jacket.
"I never knew you'd resort to leather after awhile." Oz said trying to make conversation. He only had 40 miles to do it.
"Uh yaah." Willow said yawning. "Samantha bought it for me after I got out of the hospital." Willow said.
"Why were you in the hospital?" Oz asked.
"Uh...I had to get some surgery done. I kind of freaked that day. Never had surgery before." Willow said babbling.
"What for?" Oz asked.
"uh...abdomen pains I guess. They found something and decided they should take it out. It wasn't cancer or anything...it was just like some stone that built up." Willow said lyeing slightly. They did after all...have to take Kevin out. But than again Kevin wasn't a stone. But he did build up while he was in her stomach. Whats a little lie to avert the truth for awhile.
"Bummer." Oz said. There was like a whole minute of silence until Oz spoke up again. "So am I aloud to ask you whats been going on in NewYork or if I do ask you any questions are you going to come pretty close to ripping my head off the way you almost did to Lisa in there?" Oz asked with a hint of humor.
"You can ask. Won't garauntee you'll like what you hear. Can't guarantee I'll answer everything." Willow said. She looked over at his slightly hurt face. "I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, its just that there is alot of stuff thats going on in NewYork that not even the others know." Willow said timidly.
"That helps...what if I asked you something about SunnyDale?" Oz asked.
"Just try to keep in the now tense. I really don't want to remember what happened back here okay. All I can say is...yes I hate my parents so much that the very thought of them reminds me of hell, and yes...they are the reason I left." Willow said. She looked at Oz. He was sort of grinning. She wasn't to sure if he was just trying to hide something though. He was pretty good at that. Hell...so was she. Like how much she wanted to jump him right then and there. How much she wanted to talk about Kevin and what happend with her and her parents.
"Okay...there goes about half a dozen questions." Oz said letting out a sigh.
"I'm sorry." Willow said.
"About?" Oz said. Willow was about to say that she was just sorry about rushing through all the answers that she knew were probably coming into her mind. Instead..her heart spoke for her.
"Leaving." Willow said quietly. She heard Oz sigh as well.
"Yaah...that was pretty...hard." Oz said, no longer able to school his features.
"Well what about Lisa? She's kind of nice isn't she?" Willow asked. Oz looked at her like she was crazy and he shook his head no.
"No she's not. What made you think she was?" Oz asked letting out a chuckle.
"Well okay...I don't know her that well. Still...she didn't try to rip my head off." Willow said looking on the bright side of things.
"More or less I was more worried about you doing that to her." Oz said grinning. Willow smiled impishly and looked out the window.
"Does she know about you...and your...3 nights of the month thing." Willow asked still looking out the window and up at the full moon. Wait a minute. It was a full moon. And Oz wasn't going all wolfy. Whats up with that?
"You mean you haven' t noticed?" Oz asked.
"I just did." Willow said distractedly. "What happened?" Willow asked.
"Giles found a cure. I'm surprised Buffy didn't tell you." Oz said. He thought for about a minute. He had 25 minutes before he probably dropped her off.
"When?" Willow asked looking directly at Oz this time.
"About 6 months ago." Oz said looking over at Willow while he was at a stop light.
"Oh..than that would explain it...I haven't heard from anyone within a whole year." Willow said in a dissappointed tone. "But...its nice to see you like this. Never thought I'd see you again." Willow said letting her heart slip out again. *oh shit. Willow...you've got to stop it. Wait a while. Wait a minute. He's smiling.*
"Why is that?" Oz asked grinning at her complexion. She looked out towards the open grass field on the other side of the window. She looked beautiful. Her skin was so smooth looking and silvery. Her hair...oh god...was that honey suckles he smelled again? It held that gorgeous shine on it.
"Well...after a while you just sort of lose courage, and the more you lose the harder it is to accept something of the good might happen." Willow said smiling at Oz. She noticed him staring at her dreamily. He was looking at her like before...*no don't think about that* She quickly averted her eyes and ears to the light in front of them. The light was green and people were honking. She waved a hand in front of his face.
"Oz!!!" Willow hollerd for the 3rd time only this time alittle louder. He broke out of his visual of Willow and payed attention to what she was saying.
"What?" Oz asked. Willow smiled lightly.
"The light is green. and the guy behind us is flipping you off." Willow said glancing at the other cars.
"Oh." Oz said blushing. "Thanks."
"Why did you zone out there?" Willow asked. Oz held a sad look to his face.
"Remembering...what things used to be like...before..."Oz broke off, not wanting to go any further. She said she didn't want to talk about it and god damnit he wasn't going to make her talk about it anymore. He held a lump in his throat. He so badly wanted to pull over the side of the road and kiss her. Those lips. They were open. They were facing his direction. They were breathing air out of them. And he was staring. Oz broke out of his thoughts once again and concentrated on the road.
Willow, on the other hand recognized that look. Only this time it was tinged with sadness and longing. His eyes were dreamy, but sad as if he were running someones funeral, his nose was perked up, as if he had an idea that he wanted to follow through but he knew he'd have to wait, and his lips. Oh god she wanted to touch them. She wanted to feel his rough guitar calloused fingers stroking her back, her face, her stomach, and...other places. She suddenly had another gut wrenching feeling in the pit of her stomach. One she'd been holding ever since she looked into those eyes in highschool. Only this time it was stronger. Because she knew this time she couldn't have him, and it was because of her. Willow thought it was best to stop thinking those dirty, nasty, pure, loving, lusty, thoughts about Oz that she so wanted to fullfill. Instead she decided to talk about Arizona.
"So...how was Arizona?" Willow asked.
"I....didn't go." Oz said letting out a sad sigh. He winced when he heard Willow's high questioning voice.
"What!!! Why?" Willow asked. Oz hesitated at first. He was afraid Willow was going to kill him if he told her more than she needed to know.
"Uh...the transmission thing was first accepted....and then...about a week before you left...it was revoked." Oz said. He looked into her pain filled eyes as he finally approached Buffy's street. She waited until they were in Buffy's drive way before she said anything.
"Oz why didn't you tell me?" Willow asked sadly. Oz waited a moment to consider what he wanted to say. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he might say I don't know...but something in him was just beggin to let it out.
"Well...Willow. I was still kind of pissed." Oz said looking down at the floorboard. He couldn't meet willow's eyes. Not when he said something like that to her. He could sense the tension though. She wasn't pissed. She was sad. Lonely. Scared. She waited for about a minute before she decided to let herself out of the car. She held back the tears as best as she could. She really wasn't doing as well as she wanted. Oz could see a tear in her eyes as she approached the door. He got out of the car quickly to say something. Anything to let her know he was sorry.
"Listen Willow...I really didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean to sound hostile." Oz said. It was the truth though. He didn't mean to...but he said what he felt. He touched her shoulder to get her to turn around, but she flinched away. "Willow..." Oz asked deeply concerned. "I swear...I didn't mean it. Look at me...please." He held a lock of her hair in his hand and reveled in the feel of it. Hope entered his young heart when she slowly began to turn around. Than his heart burned when he saw the tears in her eyes flowing down her cheeks. Unconciously he halted a lone tear as it fell down her left cheek. She looked down and then looked back up to meet his eyes. He rushed to reassure her again. "I didn't mean it Willow." Oz said again. Willow flared slightly. He knew she was about to say something when she did that. Thats what she always did.
"Yes...you did." Willow said in a hesitant breath. She let out a deep breath.
"No Willow...I swear. It really wasn't supposed to be like that." Oz said rubbing her cheek and stepping in a little bit closer so as not to intimidate her but to let her know that he was there, next to her and he wasn't planning on leaving until they actually got it out.
"Yes.." Willow cried. "You did."
"Willow. I didn't. Just...look at me. I shouldn't have said it." Oz said in a resigned manner.
"Listen....Oz. You may...not have meant to say it...but you felt it....and I honestly need to know the way you feel when your around me. You felt it...it came out wrong...I know...but...there is just alot of stuff going on right now...and I really need to figure out how to deal before...I do anything else." Willow said looking into his eyes. Deep into his soul. For a moment, just for a moment...she thought he was going to kiss her. She quickly dismissed the thought though and ducked her head again. She sniffed to herself. "I need to go in. Shower. Sleep. I promise...I won't be this bad in the morning. I'm just really tired. I'll talk to you later. Okay." Willow said lifting her eyebrows and letting a small refreshing smile to let Oz know that she just wasn't feeling good. She turned her head so she could unlock the door but just before she stepped in Oz stopped her. She turned around. "Yaah?" Willow asked.
Oz was at a loss for words at the moment. What to say. He hated not having the last word in his conversations with Willow. He just decided to reassure her that he was around.
"You know...you can talk to me. If you want to. If you need to. I'm here." Oz said gently before turning around and heading out towards the car parked in the drive way. He started the motor and looked up to see Willow still staring at him. He smiled a sad smile and she just smiled back this time and nodded before turning around and closing the door. *Smooth Oz....really smooth* Oz chatesised himself. *Why can't I just tell her. I love you. Lisa is a slut. She's belimic. She's ugly. She smokes. I want you Willow. I love you Willow.* Oz thought to himself. *Why couldn't you just tell her you idiot.* Oz thought as he turned off of the street.**********
Willow closed the door feeling a bit more refreshed. She still wanted to cry her eyes out though. *Why can't I just tell him. I love you. You have a son. Screw NewYork. Take me with you. Kiss me. I love you. Intel can die for all I care. I love you.* Willow chatesised herself. She waited until she was in the shower before the tears really began to fall. She started having those awful flashbacks again of when she was ten. Willow scrubbed her body harder in order to rid her of the bad tingly vibes she was getting at the memory of Rose and her parents. When she was done crying and she finally decided that it was impossible to scrub her gutt away she exited the shower and dressed into a pair of purple satin pajama pants, and a white bowling shirt.
Somehow...Willow knew that the dreams would come.
************************************************next morning.
Willow reached languidly across her bed to turn off the alarm clock. Suddenly Buffy came in brushing her teeth.
"Hey sunshine. How did you sleep?" Buffy asked.
"Like I usually do as of late." Willow said.
"Good or bad?" Buffy asked.
"Bad." Willow said softly and groggily as she began to sit up.
"Care to share?" Buffy asked. "Sometimes getting things out is the only way they go away." Buffy said sympathetically.
"no thankyou Buffy. I just prefer not to think about it." Willow said.
"okay." Buffy said in a resigned sigh. "Well Willow. Get dressed and wear something loose. We are going to the bridal shop to get fitted." Buffy said happily. She loved trying on fancy dresses. Willow groaned.
"Must you be so perky at..." Willow reached over to see what time it was. "2 a clock in the afternoon?" Willow asked. Her eyes went wide. How could I sleep that late? 14 hours?
"Yaah. I tried to wake you up before but you just said to wake you up in an hour or two so I tried both. You were still asleep and we have to be at the dress fittings place by 4. So get ready and shower."
Continues
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