There are moments when my life narrows down to just me and a focal point. It's been happening more and more in the last year or so. At first I thought it was just a side-effect of the werewolf gig, but now I realize it has nothing to do with that. It's all about Willow.

When I think about her, my head just clouds everything else out. It happened the first time I saw her in that Eskimo outfit at that dance. It happened when I saw her again, on that crazy Halloween night. It happened when I saw her sitting beside me during that computer meeting, and it most definitely happened when I saw that bullet and Willow in its path. I don't see the stuff around me, I just see her. Her beautiful, luminous eyes and cheerful smile. How could I possibly see anything else?

That bullet was the closest I've ever come to being as scared as I am now. My rational mind knows they'll try to trade Willow for whatever's in that box, but my irrational mind is currently in full panic-mode. They have Willow. I don't. I'm not sure if it's some primal wolf thing or not, but the urge to just get her back so I can touch her and make sure she's okay is pretty much shutting everything else out.

Buffy reassured me that she won't let anything happen to Will, and I know in my head that there is, in fact, no way on Earth that Buffy'd let her get hurt, but I can't stop my mind from bringing the images to me. I can see, clear as if she were right in front of me, Willow's pale skin and fluttering eyes as she woke up from her coma. At least then I could touch her. Now, I'm totally helpless. And I hate it.

Dimly I hear voices being raised in argument around me, and I struggle to concentrate on them. That idiot Wesley wants to destroy the box ... our only bargaining chip. I can understand that he sees this clinically as a chance to save thousands of lives against Willow's one. I can see that he honestly believes what he's saying. If I were a detached Watcher-guy, I might be doing the same thing. But I'm not. I'm the guy who loves Willow to the point of distraction. And the idea of a life without her in it isn't even a remote option.

I've been struggling quietly with the idea that she's going to go away to school soon and I might not be able to follow her. If anything happens to her now, with the Mayor and Faith, I definitely won't be able to follow. That's just not allowed to happen. Willow has to be okay.

I just want her back. That's the only thing in life I want. Screw that e-flat, diminished ninth thing. I'd give up everything to have her in this room with us, typing away on the computer or chanting as we destroy the almighty box.

I'm fairly certain they're all surprised when I stride over to the bowl and slam it against the wall, eliminating with one clean move any of Wesley's chances to destroy the box. There. Argument over. Null and void. Now we can get Willow back. My eyes travel around the room for a moment, settling on Buffy. I only have to wait a fraction of a second before the Slayer issues her order. "Giles, make the phone call."

I nod, satisfied once I see him move into his office to do as she's asked. Then I find myself enveloped in the Slayer's embrace. She's hugging me tightly, whether to give comfort or to take it, I can't be sure, but my arms wrap around her just the same.

She pulls back a little, still hugging me. There are tears glittering in her eyes. "We'll get her back," she promises.

I nod again, not trusting my voice.

This time, it's definitely me hugging her.

***

Tension is something that can be measured in degrees. There's the awkward tension, which is fairly low on the scale. There's nervous tension, which falls somewhere above that, and then at the top there's full-fledged panic tension. That's where I am now.

I know Giles is making me help Xander lock down the cafeteria to give me something to do -- to take my mind off what's going on around me, and I'm grateful that my hands have something to do other than throttle Wesley, who's been making sarcastic remarks on a regular basis.

We check the doors again, verifying that they're secure. "The whole place is locked down," I report, heading back towards the group in the center of the room. "Except for the front."

'Where they'll be bringing my Willow', my mind adds.

"Yeah, gives me that comforting trapped feeling," Xander complains, and I spare a glance at him. Willow's his best friend. His oldest friend. I have to remember I'm not the only one hurting here. I can't believe I ever bothered to feel hostile towards him after that whole fling thing. It all seems so irrelevant in the shadow of never being able to hold Willow again.

"One way out means one way in," Buffy notes tactically. "I want to see 'em coming."

The lights suddenly go out.

"I guess they're shy," Xander says, nervously.

Everyone looks around the room, examining the darkness. "I can see all right," Angel says calmly. It's good to know he'll keep his head through all this. I'm not sure I will.

The doors open and I focus my gaze on them. The Mayor's vampire cronies stand aside as the Mayor comes in, followed closely by Willow and Faith.

The tunnel vision hits. I can't see anything in the room besides Willow and the knife at her throat. Her eyes are wide with fear, but I can see the underlying trust that we won't let that knife harm her. God, I love her.

The Mayor and Buffy start their negotiations, but I don't hear a word. My whole world has become Willow and that knife. I logically acknowledge that Faith is holding the knife to Willow's throat, but I can't actually see Faith. All I can see is Willow. I visually check out her condition, relieved to find her unmarked and apparently unharmed. Her chest heaves as she breathes shallowly and quickly in Faith's tight grip, and I focus on her eyes, trying to tell her with my own that it'll all be okay. It'll be over soon.

Angel says something that Faith seemingly doesn't like. She jerks Willow in her grasp, pressing the blade's edge closer to her neck. Willow makes a noise of distress. My heart stops beating. I can't let anything happen. I step forward. "Angel..." I encourage him to back down without using words. We can't afford to piss them off while Willow's still in Faith's hold.

The Mayor begins prattling on about the doomed nature of Buffy and Angel's relationship. I have to dig my nails into my palms in my clenched fists to keep from screaming at him to quit wasting time and let Willow go.

The Mayor begins advancing on Angel, lecturing him on the risks and morals of loving Buffy, but I barely hear him. Willow. Knife. Me. Willow. Knife. Me. My whole existence has come down to these three things.

They move to make the trade and I step towards Buffy, eager to have this done with. Angel goes to hand the box over to Faith as Faith pushes Willow into Buffy to free up her hands. Buffy passes Willow along behind her, where she knows I'll be waiting. I push Willow behind me with one arm, distancing her from her former captors just a little more.

Faith's self-satisfied smile as she holds the box gives the wolf in me one more reason to tear her heart out.

Snyder enters suddenly, and I watch with detached interest as it unfolds that he knows the Mayor. Interesting, but not as interesting as the feel of Willow's hands gripping my sleeve. I breathe evenly in and out, waiting for this to be over so I can take her in my arms.

One of Snyder's security guards is stupid enough to open the box. I watch as an insect-like thing attaches itself to his face. A few hideous noises later, and the man's face is pulp and the insect abandons it. Willow pulls me away from the box, further into the room. The rational part of my brain notes that this might not be the best tactical move, but I move anyway, to stay close to Will.

Quickly we all begin scanning the room for the thing. Xander starts babbling, but I tune him out, listening for the creature. I keep Willow behind me, prepared to defend her. I didn't just get her back to lose her to a bug. A sound from the ceiling brings our eyes upward, and I feel a great satisfaction as the thing drops on to the Mayor's face and does its thing. Faith's immediately there, prying the bug lose from his face and throwing it across the room, near Giles and Wesley.

The two Watchers take higher ground on chairs before the Mayor reclaims my attention. I see the wounds on his face close up as if nothing happened, and suddenly I notice that my breathing's become a little shallower. I don't like this new trick at all. Invulnerability for the bad guys cannot be a good thing. The Mayor mentions that the box is open and Buffy charges to it, slamming it shut. I wonder how many of those things got out. Suddenly one lands on Buffy's back. I make a face of disgust as she throws her body back to the floor and squashes it.

I continue to scan the floor, looking for more of them, when Wesley's girlish shriek of "Noooo!" draws my attention. I look up just in time to see Faith impale one of the creatures with her knife, inches away from Wesley's head.

The Mayor seems to have had enough of these fun and games. He strides over and reclaims his box. Still concerned, I can't help but ask, "Is that all of them?"

His answer chills me to the bone. The idea that millions of those creatures will be let loose upon the world is a little much to take after all the emotional stress of the day. He leaves, and after a few tense moments, Faith finally trails out behind him.

We're left with Snyder. He seems rather spooked by the whole deal, which I'm glad for. Snyder wanders away, his defensive chair still in position, and I watch as Buffy removes Faith's knife from the wall, allowing the creature to slide to the floor. Willow moves around me, and I know she's concerned for Buffy.

"Well, that went swimmingly," Wesley says, adding to his sarcastic quota.

Willow glares at him for a moment. Buffy walks slowly towards Will, and a small smile lights up her features as she studies my girlfriend. "We did okay." Buffy smiles at me. We both know it was worth it.

Buffy and Willow hug quickly, and then I can finally do what I've been wanting to do ever since I saw Will come in, held by Faith. I turn her around and crush her to me, reassuring myself that she's here, alive, and safe.

***

After gathering up the creatures, we begin to head back to the library. Giles turns to me suddenly. "Oz. Xander. Er, Angel. Would you take these down to the boiler room and, er, dispose of them?"

I'm about to protest, but Willow squeezes my hand and gives me a little nudge forward. "We'll be okay," she murmurs quietly. "It won't take long."

I nod. I'll do whatever she wants. Xander and I take the garbage bags from Giles' hands as Angel leads us down a hallway. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can get back to my girlfriend.

***

We enter the library, where Willow and Buffy are animatedly chatting on the book counter. I allow the first smile all night to grace my face. I can tell from the tone of her voice that she's a little wound up. I think it's cute.

She catches sight of me and hops from her perch off the counter. I hang back, near the doors, as I watch her hug Xander closely. I'm not even jealous. I know I'm next. She slides into my arms and I tighten them around her, pulling her close to me and breathing in her scent. I reach up and stroke her hair, so incredibly relieved that I have her back in my arms in one piece.

We draw apart slowly, and I nuzzle her face with my nose.

"I stole some pages from the Books of Ascension!" she tells me excitedly. "You should have seen Giles' face when I handed them over!"

I grin at her exuberance. "Good for you," I murmur, right before I claim her lips with my own. I revel in the feel and taste of my Willow. I can't believe how close I came to losing this. Again.

Buffy clears her throat, not exactly tactfully, but we get the message. We look at her expectantly. "Why don't we call it a night?" the Slayer suggests. Angel nods his silent agreement with the idea.

"Okay," I agree. "You guys want a lift?"

Xander steps forward to accept, but Buffy snags his arm and pulls him to her side. "We're all going to walk. We need fresh air after all the excitement."

Xander opens his mouth to protest, but Buffy brings her heel down sharply near his sneaker. He shuts up. I grin even wider and Willow chuckles a little.

"Thanks, Buffy," she says, sliding her arm to around my waist. "We'll see you in the morning."

***

We climb into my van in relative silence, eager to close the doors and protect ourselves from the night outside. I used to love night time. The crisp air, the stars, the quiet. Now I almost see it as an enemy.

Willow turns to me after she's fastened her safety belt. "Your parents still in Washington?" she asks.

I nod dumbly. "Protesting that oil spill."

She stares straight ahead. "Then your house it is, then."

I start the van without comment, and she begins to chatter away about her captivity, still proud of herself for stealing the pages Giles needs. I chuckle when she describes staking a vamp with a floating pencil, and think about getting her to move up to real stakes. Her showdown with Faith just leaves a grim line on my face. Someday, somehow, that Slayer is going to pay.

I pull into my driveway and go over to Will's side to open the door for her. She practically bounces out of the van, re-describing her vampire kill. I lead her into the house without comment -- it's too dangerous to just stand around outside talking.

Once inside, I shrug off my jacket and take hers. "Ice cream?" she asks innocently, pausing in her monologue long enough to wait for my answer.

I nod, heading for the kitchen. We settle on some stools at the counter after I grab the ice cream and two spoons. She resumes describing the Mayor's office and the altar, and then stops mid-sentence. "Have you said anything since the library?"

"I told you my parents were in Washington."

She cocks her head as she examines her memory to verify the data. Then she narrows her eyes at me. I think it's adorable when she tries to look angry. "You're supposed to *stop* me when I do that!"

I shake my head and swallow some ice cream. "I like when you do that."

She sighs and reaches for her spoon. We eat in silence for a minute before she breaks the quiet. "Did you guys know what was in the box?"

"No."

She nods, digesting the info. "Do you think -- ?" She stops and blushes, as if she's embarrassed to ask me.

"What?"

"Do you think... that... it was worth it?"

My mind reels that she even asks the question. "Absolutely, Baby," I answer, reaching out and covering her free hand with mine. "Worth it and then some."

She nods, but still appears troubled.

"What?" I ask.

"I saw, w-what he's going to be able to do, Oz. With the Ascension. I tried to look at it clinically, y'know, not emotionally. But if he can do half the things that book says to my friends and family, well, yeeecchh."

"What does that have to do with the bugs in the box?"

She raises her head and her eyes are filled with unshed tears. "Did I do the right thing? By stealing the pages and coming back? I mean, even if we *can* stop the Ascension, he's still got that box. Which would have been better? Demons eating our flesh, or bugs?"

I think about it for a minute. "It's not over," I point out, "Not by a long shot. And now we not only have the pages, we know what's in the box. We're not doing too badly, as far as I can tell."

She shakes her head, still preoccupied. "But did Buffy do the right thing? I'm sure she could have gotten to the books sooner or later. Instead, she gave up that box for me. Am I worth the rest of the world?"

"You are to me," I answer. "As far as I'm concerned, you're worth waaay more than 50 billion angry bugs."

She tries to smile, but doesn't quite get there. "I'm not so sure. The idea of those, bug things on everyone I care about makes me wonder... Wouldn't it have been easier to fight one demon Mayor instead of 50 billion monsters? Doesn't one for one add up better?"

I take her spoon away and plunk my own spoon down on the counter. I gather her into my arms and make sure she's looking at me before I say anything. "Listen, baby. Without you, there is no rest of the world." Her nose crinkles and I know she doesn't get it. I try another tactic. "Will, you're everything good and kind and wonderful. *You* are everything that Buffy, and Giles and everyone fight to protect every night. If we can't save that good part of the world that means so much to us -- that we all love, how do you expect us to save the rest of it? If anything happened to you, we all would have failed. We had to save you. You're the first step in saving the rest of the world." Her eyes are shining and a lone tear escapes and trails down her cheek. It's happening again. I can't see anything but her face. Hear anything but her breathing, smell anything but her. I sigh, and lower my head to drop a kiss on her lips. She kisses me back, urgently, as if she's finally releasing all the fear she must have held all night. We draw apart slowly, still searching each other's faces with our eyes. I can see she gets it now.

"A world without you isn't worth saving," I murmur.

She sniffles a little and offers me a wobbly smile.

"Wanna stay here tonight?" I offer.

She nods and brushes the stray tears away with her hand. I put the ice cream away and lead her upstairs. We've done this a few times now, so we both know the drill. I hand her one of my oversize T-shirts and wait until she's changed and in bed to turn around. I peel off my shirt and slip into bed beside her. She snuggles into me and I listen to the quiet, appreciating all that I have.

"Oz?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think we'll get to do this much more? That we'll still be able to do this after the Ascension? Do you think we'll win?"

I gather her close to me, kissing her forehead. "Baby, we already saved the best part of the world tonight. We're way ahead."

Her head settles and her eyelids droop as I watch her in the darkness. I won't be getting much sleep tonight. Her breathing becomes even and regular, and I hold her just a little closer to me. I've got Willow back in my arms. The way I see it, we've already won.

---

The End.

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