The next afternoon, Willow went by Oz's house. "Hey, baby," he greeted her with a hug. He pulled back to get a closer look at her. "What's wrong?"

"We need to talk."

He didn't reply, merely stepped aside to let her in--his association with the Slayer and being a Slayerette himself had conditioned him to never invite *anyone* in. She raised an eyebrow, and in answer to her unspoken question he replied, "Furniture shopping spree. All that sitting could take hours."

Satisfied they were alone, Willow turned to face him. "We have to have sex," she blurted, and thus relieved, plunked herself down on his parents sofa.

He blinked, and then sat next to her. "Have you been watching *Felicity* again?" he ventured.

"Oz, I found out that Helygen was married."

"Ah." He nodded.

Deciding that was his sarcastic tone, Willow explained, "To a werewolf."

"Ah." He nodded.

Hoping that was his non-sarcastic tone, she went on. "Well, and don't get me wrong, I *totally* don't mind, it's just, well . . . I mean, you know? But it *would* be kinda cool, if you didn't have to--and I think I could really do this, even though it's more complicated than anything I've ever tried, and it's not actually a recognized spell. Just something that she played with. But--that too! 'Cause, well, I look like her, and our names are the same, and the werewolf thing, and--and I'm not exactly a sorceress, but maybe I could be? And could make up my own spells, too, just like she did--"

"Will."

She stopped babbling, and stared at him for a full minute, holding her breath. "She found a way to perform a sort of binding spell on Owns--her husband. So he wouldn't have to be locked up during the full moon."

He took a deep breath and sat back a little. "Woah."

"That's what I said," she agreed. "Well, actually," she hedged, "I stuttered a little more, but you get the idea."

He turned to face her, and she tried desperately to read his face--which he was keeping carefully blank. His eyes, however, told her everything she needed to know, and she fancied she could hear the hopefulness in his voice. "Can you do that?"

She nodded, smiling. "I'm almost positive. And, well, in order to do it, I need to give you your graduation present a little early."

He narrowed his eyes. "Willow--"

She held up a hand. "Before you say no, I want you to hear me out. Two things: First, I love you with all my heart, and when I told you I was ready, four months ago, I meant it. I'm still ready. I want you, Oz."

To the untrained eye, she could have been telling him that she'd gotten a nice letter from her aunt. Willow, however, saw the impact her words were having upon him. His eyes darkened, and the expression on his face, though to others it would have looked as though he were listening to her recite a recipe for chicken soup, told her that she wasn't alone in her passions. She took a deep, steadying breath before continuing. "Second, I wouldn't even have brought this up until then if it weren't for one little thing. Helygen had a specific reason for working so hard to devise this spell. Owns was in danger. And you might be, too."

He waited for her to go on. "Well, don't get mad, okay? Giles never knew about it, and Angel only told Buffy just recently when it occurred to him. They swear they were gonna tell us, but it was kinda a hard subject to bring up, and I already chewed them out for it."

"Willow."

"Okay, uh, vampires can 'call' werewolves. Not the vampires here--Angel's the only one strong enough to be able to do it, and, well, he wouldn't. But if a really old vampire came around during a full moon, you'd be in serious trouble. Under the call of a vampire, you'd probably be able to break out of the cage in the library, and I don't know if a tranq would slow you down or not. And even when you're not a werewolf, once the sun went down every night, you'd be his creature to call. But Helygen's spell would protect against that. And--and--"

"Willow," began Oz, scooting a little closer to her, and taking her hand in his. "This is a big deal. I mean, sex." She opened her mouth to speak, and he gently laid two fingertips over her lips, silencing her. "I want you, too, Will. And I love you." He brought their hands up to his breast, where he trapped her palm just above his heart. "I just have a problem with our first time together being about me instead of being about us."

Her heart melted, and she fought hard to keep her tears under control. "But, Oz, if something happens to you, it *does* happen to us."

She shivered as his heart stopped for an instant, and then sped up a little as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle, tender kiss. Breathless, she pulled away after a moment to look into his eyes. "Are you okay with this?" she finally asked.

He paused. "I think so."

It was her turn to be suspicious. "Oz, no secrets," she admonished. "What is it?"

"Xander."

She sighed and pulled away from him a little. He dropped his gaze, misinterpreting her actions, and she sternly gripped his chin. "I just wanna tell you something," she explained when he met her eyes again.

"I've thought a lot about what happened, and I think I sort of understand why . . . what happened . . . happened," began Willow awkwardly, letting go of him and moving back to give herself some space, some distance. "You said once that Xander has a part of me that you can never touch. And that's true. He's been my best friend since we were in diapers. And all I ever wanted was for him to love me the way I loved him.

"And then I met you. I don't know if I can ever tell you how much having you in my life has changed me. I'm not the same person who mooned over her best friend like a puppy, Oz. I'm not the same person who yearned for a boy's approval, silently pining away after someone who saw me as a boy with long hair. And--and when I suddenly had that boy's approval, when he saw me as a woman for the first time--all of a sudden I didn't know what I wanted.

"I was afraid to let go of that person I had been, to let go of those feelings I had for Xander, because I was afraid of the person I'd become. A person who is independent, confident . . . all the things I never thought I could be. I think--I think the old Willow was safe. I knew how to be her. And the new Willow-- the person I've become . . . she's scary, Oz." She sighed, still unable to look at him, just trying desperately to get it all out before she exploded. "She's seriously considering becoming a Watcher. A year ago, I wouldn't even have entertained the notion for more than an instant. Too hard, too many *depending* on me, too much pressure . . . but the new Willow? She wants this, and a lot of other things that the old Willow would have been terrified of. And I don't know how to be her. I'm making it up as I go." She shook her head, and met his eyes once again. "But that part of me that Xander has? That's all old Willow. The *only* one who can touch the new Willow is you, Oz."

There was a muscle in his jaw ticking off the seconds before he spoke next, and Willow knew a moment of pure fear. He didn't understand, he *did* understand but just didn't believe her, he thought it was all a big rationalization, he hated her now and wasn't ever going to speak to her again--

"Will," he whispered, and she jerked her eyes away from his jaw to meet his gaze, and felt tears welling up at the emotions she saw there, swirling closer to the surface than he'd ever before allowed. She fell into his arms and began to cry, quietly, gently, as he held her close.

*****

On Wednesday night, Willow decided she couldn't take it any longer, and proceeded to track Giles down. A call to Buffy's house confirmed that the two of them would be stopping by the school library after patrol, and Willow was touched by Mrs. Summers' offer.

"Buffy told me about Mr. Giles' Watcher friends inviting you to go to school in England," began Joyce, gently.

"Oh." She sighed. "I haven't even told *my* mom," she mused.

Joyce was quiet for a moment. "Willow, why don't you go to library, and wait for them? You can come home with Buffy tonight. If it isn't too late, you could even help her with her chemistry--I know you have that test on Friday," she added.

Willow closed her eyes, and wondered just what twist of fate had brought a friend like Buffy--and now, her mother--into her life. "I'd like that, Mrs. Summers," she accepted without bothering to dissemble. "Thank you."

Two hours later, Willow was fast asleep at the library where Oz had dropped her (it wasn't safe to be out walking alone after dark in Sunnydale, especially right now). She didn't hear Giles enter the room. When he touched her shoulder, she jolted awake. "Oz?" she asked, blinking her eyes open.

"You're in the library, Willow. What are you doing here this late at night?"

Giles' voice sounded odd. Willow stretched a little, and then gasped as she looked down at the table. She'd brought along her spell book, and had left it open to Helygen's spell for Owns, and strewn across the table were several *Cosmo* articles that Buffy had clipped for her. The topics were . . . well, pertinent to one aspect of the spell. Blushing furiously, Willow shoved the bits of glossy paper into the notebook and snapped it shut. "Uh, hi, Giles. I, uh, fell asleep."

He didn't respond immediately. Taking off his wire-framed glasses, he retrieved a white handkerchief from his pocket and proceeded to clean the lenses. "Are you working on a spell?" he asked, settling himself on the table so that he looked down at her, though at the moment he was studiously avoiding her gaze.

She sighed. "Giles, you don't do casual well. Is Buffy with you?"

"She went to the restroom to clean up. We ran into a rouge demon tonight, and it got rather messy."

Then they had a few minutes. "Are you gonna lecture me?" He knew enough about magick be able to guess, even at such a brief glance, what sort of spell she was working on.

He winced at her tone. She still hadn't forgiven him for the secrets he'd kept from her. "No," he began quietly. "I can see that you aren't entering into this lightly. I--I suppose I just wanted you to know that while your parents might not approve of your choices . . ."

"Buffy told you?" Since when had Buffy gotten such a big mouth? She hadn't even told *Oz* the degree to which her parents "didn't approve" of him. Her mother might not have gone so far as to forbid her to see him, but neither were both of her parents out of town at the same time any more, either. The implication was clear: a girl who dates a musician cannot be trusted in an empty home.

Giles shifted uncomfortably. "No. But it isn't hard to see if one knows you well. But Willow, I've always considered you as something of a protégé, even if I didn't admit it to myself most of the time." He put his glasses back on, and met her eyes. She swallowed hard. "I simply wanted to tell you that . . . well, you haven't asked for, nor do you require my approval, but . . ." He broke off, and gave her a small smile. "Oz is a good man, and I do believe you could do far worse."

She didn't know what to say. It meant a great deal to her that he'd thought of her in those terms, because she'd always looked up to him as a mentor. If she were perfectly honest with herself, she'd always been a little jealous of Buffy in that respect. But while he loved Buffy as a man loves his daughter, he loved Willow as a man loves his . . . ward? "Why do I suddenly feel like the Boy Wonder?" Giles stared blankly at her. "Never mind. Thank you, Giles. It means a lot to me that you feel that way.

"But that isn't why I came here tonight. I was hoping we could talk about the Council."

He nodded, straightening. "Of course. Though, uh, it is rather late . . ."

"And everyone has school tomorrow, I know. I just wanted to get some things off my chest. First of all, I'm still really angry with you for keeping the invitation from me. You had no right, and--" She stopped herself. "Okay, we don't need to do this again. Uhm, I'm still mad, okay? But aside from that, I'm interested. I just wanted some basic facts so I can make an informed decision."

Giles kept himself carefully impassive, though Willow knew he had to be upset about this whole thing. She steeled her self for his efforts to talk her out of it all. "Yes. Well. First of all, you should probably know that if you accept, you are making the decision for the rest of your life. And not only your life, but also the lives of your descendents. Your children, and your children's children, will all be condemned to serve the Council."

Willow nodded. She'd gathered as much, from Giles' own troubled past. Would her children rebel against their duty the way Giles had as a teenager? The thought was unsettling. "What else?"

"The second thing you should realize is that, with your experience in the field, so to speak, you will likely be the Watcher of the next Slayer, if your training is complete by the time she is called."

Willow felt like she'd been punched in the stomach, hard. "Oh, God." She knew that what Buffy did was dangerous, and that she *had* died once . . . Even though she'd been revived, another Slayer had been called, and when she'd been killed, Faith had been called. For the first time since the First Slayer, there were two. "But--but probably Faith's replacement, right?"

The look Giles gave her was filled with pity, sympathy, and, yes, empathy. He knew *exactly* how she was feeling, because he must feel the same way, himself. "We can only hope, Willow. In truth," he glanced behind him for a moment, reassuring himself that the subject of their conversation had not sneaked in behind him, "Buffy has lived far longer than most Slayers. Many never reach their eighteenth birthdays. I accredit that, in no small part, to the involvement of her friends."

Willow nodded, several instances picking themselves out: When the Master had left her, insensate, facedown in a pool of water. When she'd been wracked with fever and Angelus had tried to take advantage of her weakness. When she'd battled Angelus to keep the portal to Hell closed, and the only thing that had saved her had been his soul returning to him. "Then--then maybe I shouldn't leave at all . . ."

Giles stood abruptly as Buffy came into the library. "I gotta start bringing a change of clothes," the Slayer said, frowning down at her bloodied blouse.

"Hi, Buffy."

"Hey, Will. Something up?"

"Not really . . ." she looked up at Giles. "I just wanted to talk with Giles, and then your mom invited me to spend the night, if that's okay with you . . ."

"'Course." Buffy was waiting for an explanation, though.

"Buffy, could you give us a few minutes? We'll be done shortly, and then I'll give the both of your a ride home."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, but the look on Giles' face brooked no arguing. "Sure. I'll, uh, just get myself a snack from the lounge." She turned on her heel and left.

Giles was quiet for a moment, and Willow chewed on her lip nervously. He finally pulled a chair forward to face her, and sat down, taking off his glasses to look her firmly in the eye. "Willow, I realize that you feel a loyalty and protectiveness toward Buffy, but you must also respect what she is fighting for. In all likelihood, Xander will remain here in Sunnydale, even if he does choose to attend community college. Angel is also a valued ally. If we require magical expertise, both telephone and electronic mail lines are always open, as well as Michael, who will not graduate for another year. We've been preparing for you to leave for quite some time. No one was under any illusions that you would stay very close to home. Your temporary absence would be well worth the contribution you could make with training as a Watcher."

"Temporary?"

"Er, yes. I--If all goes well, you will join me in the field here. The Council also has the funds to send you here on a moments notice, in the meantime, in case of extreme emergency." He sighed. "There is another reason, aside from the fact that you will make an excellent Watcher, that you've been asked to join the Council. They rather hope that your computer expertise will be of value to the Council."

Willow blinked. "Huh?"

Giles replaced his glasses on his nose, and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "With the advent of such 'businessvamps,' as Xander so aptly coined, as Mr. Trick, it is becoming clear that the tried and true ways of the Slayer and her Watcher are simply not enough to wage war against the demons. Your computer savvy has benefited our cause more times than I can accurately count, and the Council feels that it would be a great asset."

Willow swallowed. "They want me to bring the Council on-line?" she reiterated.

"Er, well, yes," Giles confirmed.

She closed her eyes, slumping in her chair, rubbing her temples. Giles backed off a little. "I realize this will require some thought. I--I am aware that you are angry with me, Willow, but I do hope you know that you can use me as a--a sounding board at any time, if you feel the need." He glanced at her now-closed spell book. "On any subject," he added.

She nodded, but still didn't feel ready to forgive him; that would take some time. But it didn't hurt that he'd given her a fairly unbiased account of the facts about the Council; he'd respected that it was her decision, and not his to influence either way. "You've probably already run across the spell in Helygen's notes," she began. As guilty as he'd felt about hiding things from her, he still hadn't allowed her to take the ancient text out of the library.

Giles shook his head. "No. I--I didn't want to invade your privacy any further. I felt that if I needed to be made aware of any of the information in the *Chronicles,* you would see that I was."

She softened just the smallest bit. "Well, it's a binding spell. It serves two purposes. First and foremost, it would protect Oz against a vampire binding him to itself." She explained the phenomenon quickly. "Also, as his master, he'd obey me during the full moon. We wouldn't have to lock him up anymore."

Giles stared at her. "What does separation do to the terms of this spell?"

Willow smiled. "We've already discussed it. We're obviously not ready for marriage or anything, but we know that what we have is forever. And--and if, at some point, we do--well, we'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it. But, honestly, it isn't--" she broke off suddenly. "Oh, God."

She'd been thinking about both things for days now, but hadn't put them into the same category at all. If she left for England in the fall . . . "I didn't even--"

"Would Oz be willing to journey to England with you?" He frowned, considering. "His grades and test scores are adequate to ensure him entrance to Oxford, if not a scholarship. I could speak with the Council--special dispensation might be granted, given your extenuating circumstances," he mused, almost to himself.

She blinked, in complete shock. If she hadn't talked with Giles about this, and gone ahead and done this spell without . . . "I can't believe I'm this stupid!"

Giles sighed. "You've had a great deal on your mind, Willow. I'm fairly sure either you or Oz would have realized the implications before following through."

"I--I don't know if he'd come with me or not. We've always talked about me going away to college in terms of a long-distance relationship. Weekends, if I chose a school here in California or holidays if I chose an East Coast school. 'Cause he was thinking community college, and he and Devon were gonna get an apartment . . . I don't know if he'd leave the Dingoes behind!"

"Willow, before you become upset, I do believe you should speak with Oz."

She nodded, a little shell-shocked. "Right. Talk with Oz. Uh- huh."

*****

"So, what did Oz say?"

"Uh . . . he wants some time to think."

Buffy put her arm around her friend's shoulders. "That's not necessarily a bad thing, Will. Personally, I'd be more nervous if he agreed to it *without* taking time to consider it. Snap decisions lead to regrets."

Willow nodded, but she still looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment. "I know. It's just . . ."

"Hey, gals!" The two girls looked up to see Xander heading up the stairs to the lounge area. He plunked himself down next to Buffy. "What's up?" He got a good look at Willow's face, and his attitude changed immediately. "What happened?"

Willow shook her head, and Buffy answered. "Watcher stuff," she hedged.

Xander frowned. "Is this really a out-in-the-open-where-anyone- could-hear topic? Shouldn't we go to the library?"

Buffy lowered her voice. "Still not too happy with Giles. Avoidance is the current theme," she explained.

Willow protested. "I'm not avoiding him! I'm just . . . not actively seeking him out."

Xander nodded, then looked longingly at the snack machines. "I'm up," he announced, suiting actions to words. "Who wants?"

"Diet cola," Buffy answered. Willow demurred. As soon as Xander left, Buffy, her voice almost a whisper, said, "Maybe we should keep this whole Oz thing kinda hushed, around Xander."

"Why?" Willow was surprised.

"Well, remember how you felt when you found out about him and Faith?" Willow started to protest, but Buffy cut her off, keeping a careful eye on Xander the whole time. "Don't even try to tell me you didn't go lock yourself in the bathroom and cry your eyes out. I know you too well."

Willow blushed. She took a moment to gather her response. "Okay, I did. But not for the reasons you think. Really, I'm over him. I was upset--I'm *still* upset--because he lost something so--so *precious* to someone who couldn't see it for what it was. That's the part that hurt--I hurt *for* him, not because of him," she concluded.

"You've really changed, Will." Buffy's observation finally succeeded in winning a small smile from her friend.

"I have," she agreed simply.

Xander returned, handing Buffy her soda and unwrapping his chocolate bar. "So," he began, mumbling around a mouthful of chocolate. "Pros and cons?"

Willow grinned openly. "Okay. Uh . . ." Buffy took out a pen and notepad as Willow thought.

Xander shrugged. "Well, Watchering is kinda like teaching, right? And you love to teach, Will."

Buffy nodded. "Definite 'pro.'" Willow nodded, and the Slayer wrote it down.

"I--I'd be doing a needed service, I guess. And--and I think I'd be pretty good at it. It would be challenging, and I don't think I'd ever be bored."

"Teacher-like, all-important, challenging, low boredom factor," Buffy recited, scribbling. "Cons?"

Willow ducked her head. "I don't know if I can stand to be away from all of you for three quarters of the year. Being over-seas, I doubt even Winter Break is gonna be feasible, visit-wise. And my parents might take issue with that, too."

"Distance factors, parental discord," Buffy agreed. "What else?"

"Hang on," Xander interrupted. "You weren't really planning on staying in Sunnydale, were you? I know it'll be tough, but we've all got e-mail accounts. I'll bet Giles could even be persuaded to learn how to use one. Phone bills can get expensive, but that's what Sundays were made for, right? Or are you worried about Oz? 'Cause I gotta tell you, he'll wait. And we'll take good care of him 'round that time of the month. Scouts' honor."

She gave him a mock scowl. "You were never a Scout, Xander." She looked at Buffy for a second, and then came to a decision. "Uh, actually, I've invited Oz to come with me."

Buffy shot to her feet, looking at her wrist as if she were wearing a watch--which she wasn't. "Wow, would you look at the time? I need--uh--to be--somewhere that's else." She fled.

"What?" asked Xander, blinking.

"Uh, I invited Oz to come with me."

Xander's mouth worked for a minute. "Uh, I thought you were sorta in the stages of negotiating a long-distance trade agreement?"

She nodded. "Well, that was before. He's thinking about it."

"He'd go to Oxford, too, then?" Xander clarified.

"Uh, maybe. But the expense . . . we're not sure." She shrugged. "I'd have a full ride, but Oz wouldn't. Probably." Giles had suggested that the Council might pay, but she wasn't overly optimistic about that--or about Oz's willingness to accept that sort of a scholarship.

"Would, uh, you save, uh, money by, uh, living together?"

Willow flushed. She'd been hoping that wouldn't come up. "Probably. But it wouldn't be just to save money, Xander," she said, as gently as she could.

She watched about sixteen different emotions flick across his face in the space of about two minutes. Finally, he closed his eyes, and swallowed hard. "How long?" he managed to get out, his voice hoarse.

"Ho--how long?"

"How. Long." When she still didn't answer, Xander opened his eyes, and they were blazing with an anger that frightened her. "How long have you been parkin' him, Will?"

She felt like she'd been slapped. "Xander," she whispered, shocked.

"Huh? How does he like it, Will? How do you like it? Last week, did you slip into his cage and make him howl?" He was cut short by a stinging slap across the face. When his vision cleared again, he looked up to see Willow standing above him, her own eyes blazing with an anger that frightened *him*.

"I wanted to talk with you about this, Xander, because I didn't want you to find out from someone else and be hurt. Now I really wish I hadn't bothered." She turned on her heel, and stalked off, not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her tears.

A few minutes later, Buffy came tearing down the hall, looking for him. "What the hell did you say to her?" she demanded. Then she got a good look at his face. "Well, good for her. You're lucky she only hit you. Who the hell do you think you are?"

He sighed. "I found out she and Oz are sleeping together. I . . . got upset."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "How hard did she hit you, anyway? She and Oz aren't sleeping together. Well, not yet, anyway."

Xander looked up into her eyes. "Oh, even better." He gingerly touched the side of his face.

Buffy sighed, and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, let's get you an ice pack. Not that you deserve my help," she added.

---

Continues