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ТОП 10


The Top Ten Reasons why the Truth has to be "Out There"
  1. The Fox Network would have to rely even more on Aaron Spelling for their new shows.
  2. The Convention companies would go out of business.
  3. Mulder's nickname would be "Insane" instead of "Spooky."
  4. The "paranormal" would have no one to play with.
  5. Mulder and Scully would finally have to get together if it wasn't.
  6. Cancerman!
  7. Mulder and Skinner would have to get together if it wasn't.
  8. I've seen it..... Honest!
  9. It wouldn't be much fun to say: "The Falsity is Out There."
  10. The little green man told me so.

 
 
The Top Ten reasons why the CSM doesn't want to disclose the Truth
  1. He couldn't handle Scully's beauty mark. 
  2. The truth is that cigarettes are harmful to your health. 
  3. Having a good heart wouldn't quite match his black lungs. 
  4. Tobacco companies would go out of business because they'd have no one to sell their cigarettes to. 
  5. He doesn't want to wear a red shirt to work. 
  6. He doesn't like happy endings. 
  7. Who would the X-philes hate without him? 
  8. Somehow, "Nicemanwhotoldusthetruth" just isn't the same as "Cancerman." 
  9. He's an alien in disguise who is very self-conscious about his true self. 
  10. He's a control freak. 

 
 
The Top Ten reasons why Mulder and Scully will never get together
  1. What about Bambi? 
  2. "Dana Mulder" just doesn't sound right.
  3. Both of them can't be the man of the relationship.
  4. Scully is secretly in love with Skinner. 
  5. "Fox Scully" just doesn't sound right.
  6. Tag-team X-Files are just not fair.
  7. Mulder is secretly in love with Cancerman. 
  8. Scully would have to tell Mulder the truth about her "abduction."
  9. Mulder couldn't stand it when Scully has a "headache."
  10. One word: "Schmoopy."

 
 
The Top Ten X-Phile certified chat-up lines
  1. Have you ever been abducted before?
  2. You play Scully, and I'll be Mulder.
  3. Spooks like you turn me on.
  4. Why don't you and I go off in search of the Truth together?
  5. I'm a genetic mutant, and you're my next victim....
  6. Being with me is like an out-of-body experience.
  7. I'm a psychic. I can sense that we'll still be together in a few hours....
  8. Let's make our own X-File.
  9. How about a close encounter?
  10. I'm an X-Phile. Let's get busy.

 
 
The Top Ten X-File crossovers we'd most like to see ...or not
  1. Twin Peaks.

    2. The only time Mulder would actually get spooked.
  2. Anything with Jim Carrey.
  3. Star Trek: Voyager.

    4. Anything for Scully in a Trek uniform.
  4. Seinfeld.

    5. Mulder and Jerry Seinfeld talk about nothing while Kramer puts the moves on Scully.
  5. Dark Skies.

    6. Mulder and Scully mistake Eric Close for Ratboy.
  6. Friends.

    7. Mulder and Scully discussing relationships over enlarged cups of coffee.
  7. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

    8. Scully would make the perfect Bajoran.
  8. Dark Skies, Part 2.

    9. The counterpart faceoff.
  9. Any Aaron Spelling production.

    10. Mulder and Scully try to figure out why the show is so popular, and get frustrated by the airheads and soapy plotlines.
  10. A soap opera.

    11. Mulder discovers his long lost biological mother, and his twin brother tries to kill him while Scully dies, returns from the dead, and gets in a love triangle....

 
The Top Ten lines you'll probably never hear on The X-Files
  1. "The alien is speaking, Agent Mulder....I think it wants to phone home."
  2. "Sure, we could have these people killed to protect what they know...but isn't that a little harsh?"
  3. "I've seen this one before, Scully. His name is Casper, and he's what we call a 'friendly' ghost."
  4. "Look under the mask...this is no swamp monster.....it's Mr. Handy, the owner of the old country store!"
  5. "My Lord! This conspiracy involves all three of the Gabor sisters!"
  6. "Well, Agent Mulder...you caught us. We'll cooperate fully, of course. What would you like to know?"
  7. "You'll be happy to hear, Assistant Director Skinner, that I've switched over to the nicotine patch."
  8. "The president wants to see you two immediately. His cheeseburger is possessed."
  9. "And it would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for you meddlin' FBI agents!"
  10. "Gosh, I guess we were wrong...the government did have our best interests at heart, after all!" 

 
 
The Top ten things Scully will never say
  1. Just a minute, Mulder. Days of Our Lives is on.
  2. Wait a sec. That *is* a real extraterrestrial.
  3. Autopsy number 1013CC. Let's slice this baby open.
  4. No, sir. Agent Mulder was mistaken. I believe it was bigfoot.
  5. Sure Frohike, Saturday night's fine.
  6. You know, sir, it would be really cool if you waxed your head.
  7. What happened to my copy of "Playgirl?"
  8. Turn the radio back on! I was listening to Howard Stern.
  9. Die alien scum! (Playing Doom on her laptop.)
  10. Don't get your panties in a knot, Mulder. 

 
 
The Top ten things Mulder will never say
  1. Cancer Man is one hell of a cool guy not to kill us.
  2. Do you think Krycek would be a good squash partner?
  3. Aliens are kid's stuff, right?!
  4. Does U.F.O. stand for Unusually Flat Orange?
  5. How do you think I would look as a blonde?
  6. I'm so glad that you had a scientific explanation Scully.
  7. Vampires are scary things.
  8. Who cares about Samantha? Her brain has been warped too much!
  9. Mom's amnesia is driving me crazy.
  10. Government conspiracies are just paranoia.
  ©1996-9 Neil Grant
The X-Files TM and ©1998 Twentieth Century Fox