V sat on the bench, a flurry of activity around her, but she didn't notice. Nurses and doctors scurried around her while she sat and stared at the wall in front of her. The paint was chipped, barely noticeable, but she noticed it. She stared at it to keep her head from spinning, to keep herself from losing control all together. The paint below the white walls at GH was brown. She wondered why the walls of a hospital would be brown or maybe the walls were always white and the building where GH stood before had brown walls. "Why are you thinking of this now!" she mentally reprimanded herself. But she had to think of something to get her mind off of what was happening. Alexis, Ned, Felicia, and Mac all stood around her watching her like she was some science experiment. They were waiting for her to finally lose control, to finally break down and cry, but she didn't. She just sat in the chair staring at the wall. She didn't hear Felicia ask her if she could bring her a cup of water or Alexis offer to bring her some food. It didn't matter anyway; they just wanted to hear her voice. They hadn't heard her murmur a thing for hours and it terrified them.
Alexis and Felicia went to get her some food while Ned sat next to her. She didn't feel him take off his coat to cover her blood soaked dress. He kept whispering to her that it was going to be okay, but he was saying it mostly for himself. . V was going to be okay. She had to be. Somewhere deep down inside everyone knew there was no need to sit in the lobby of the hospital. He wasn't going to make it; he was too far-gone. It was written on V's face and every time a nurse came out of his room, they'd have a sorrowful look on their face when they saw the gleam of hope in their eyes. Ned's heart broke for her. He watched her closely, caressing her cold hands. She was so cold. He couldn't think of a way to make her warm so he just held her tightly, wishing she'd say something or move, even if the movement was pushing him away. Her eyes were dead and her breathing was shallow and short. He counted the seconds between each breath making sure she was breathing. if she was breathing she was alive, right? He kept telling himself that. The seconds between each breath became longer until he feared she'd stop breathing sitting right there next to him. He was so frightened by her appearance. This wasn't the V he knew. There was no light in her eyes; there wasn't an air of coolness that seemingly accompanied her into a room. She'd be okay he told himself. They'd all be there for her, help her though this and one day she'd is fine.
V continued staring at the brown spot on the wall, flooded by memories of their time together…the first dance, the first fight, the first "I love you", the first time. All the memories came at once, blurring together until they began choking her and spot on the wall became blurry.
"I love you", she heard him whispering and she abruptly lifted her head and looked at Ned for the first time, hopeful. Ned looked at her with a confused look on his face and after blinking several times, she realized it wasn't him. She heard him again, over and over saying the same thing until she couldn't take it anymore. She stood up quickly clutching her head. Ned stood up grabbing her hand, trying to remove them from her head.
"What, what is it?"
"Make it stop! Please, make it stop", she yelled. He tried to gather V in his arms, but she pushed him away, shaking her head. "He's dead…he's dead!" She finally began to cry backing up against the wall as Ned watched her, tears of his own falling freely.
"Ned?" Ned turned to find Bobbie looking at him.
"Bobbie, did he…I mean is he", he whispered, stuttering, walking closer to her making sure V couldn't hear him.
"Yes. Do you want me to tell V?"
"No" Ned shook his head slowly "she already knows" he finished, looking at the floor as Bobbie looked at him confused.
****
to be continued…