Dear Granny,
I know you were surprised when Josh arrived so soon. But I bet you were glad to see him. And I know you are praying for me knowing how hard this is on me and it helps a lot.
I miss you and wish I could see right into Heaven and see all of you there. But I have to wait. I can only imagine how wonderful it is there and the great time you are having. And that is a feeble attempt at best for no matter how great I imagine it, it is much more wonderful by a ga-zillionth!
I miss you all and love you more than I can even express!.... Rita Kay
October 21, 2000
Hi Granny,
It has been a beautiful last couple days here.. I didn't go out though. Stayed in. Trying to get ready for Jodi's baby and thought about cleaning Josh's room. It is hard. I don't want to accept the fact he isn't gonna be in his room anymore. I know he has a much better place there but it is still so hard. I want to save everything.. even trash he accumulated. Isn't that stupid? I can't help it. Jimmy is trying to help me. He said he really misses talking to Josh so I know it is hard on him too. Give Josh a big hug and kiss for me. I love you both so much. I dreamed of Josh last night. Thank him for visiting me in my dreams and I will thank Jesus too. Going to bed now.. will write more later. Tell Josh I love him and will write him later...
10/28/2000
Dear Josh,
We do not need a special day to bring you to our minds. The days we do not think of you are very hard to find. Each morning when we awake we know that you are gone. And no one knows the heartache as I try to go on. My heart aches with sadness and the tears still flow. What it meant to lose you no one will ever know.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN read somewhere in my grief
My thoughts are constantly with you, and nothing can fill this void. I love you, my son and will never stop thinking of you and wishing I had told you more while you were here.
I read on a stone "If tears would make a staircase, and heartaches make a lane, we would walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again".
But you wouldn't come back with us, you would ask when we were coming there to stay.
We will always hold you close within our hearts throughout our lives until we see you again.
Our family chain is broken and nothing is the same here.
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again and soon we will have a family reunion. I pray the chain is unbroken when we all meet up there. I daily listen for the trumpet blast but I want all loved ones to be saved so I hope He waits a little longer. I know I am saved so I am not afraid to die and leave this old world but I know it is all in God's timing so I will try to make you proud and try to live a life for Christ. He is the reason for life. You are really the lucky one to be there. No more pain or sorrow for you now and everyday is so joyous for you.
I have to remember this and try not to be so selfish.
But I miss your sweet face so much.
I hope God allows you to see Jodi's baby when he is born. I will be looking for you.
I love and miss you... mom
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