Mom.. I'm sorry you are hurting and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know this is what you kept telling me you were afraid of. And I really didn't mean for it to happen. But it did and I am ok. Really ok!
I know you are hurting real bad right now and I know you miss me. But you will will see me again before ya know it.
But while you're waiting to come home to heaven (and it is your home), please keep busy doing things for Jesus (with boldness.. I am praying for you so don't be afraid) and love everybody still there with you. Nothing else on earth matters except these things. Life is really short there but it is forever here! And when Jesus finally comes down there again... I will be with Him! I can't wait... but while I am waiting... well it is awesome here.
I can't even describe this to you but you know how I always told you my dreams and nightmares and in detail? Well this is the best dream yet... and it isn't a dream! It is real!!
Hang on to my love for you and the appreciation I told you I felt for you...
Granny said you'll understand it all by and by.... and she says she loves you and knows how bad you are hurting. She prays for all of you all the time. She was waiting for me when I got here.
You will all be ok just don't let what happened destroy you, please! I would never do anything to hurt you... not on purpose. And what happened to me was something that seems terrible for all of you I know, but.... I am so happy and it is so beautiful here!
I just wanted to say I love you and I am alright. Tell Jodi and Jimmy I love them. And grandma and grandpa too. (she is naming the baby after me huh? Cool!!) I love everybody I left there but I wouldn't want to come back now.
I have seen and learned a lot already and there is so much more!
Remember the love I have for you... and will see ya soon!
I love you even more than ever ~ Josh
(10/28/2000)
Dear Mom..
I keep looking through the portals to see how you are doing... I know how you are hurting.
I don't want you to loose it and I know how you are. I am fine, really great as a matter of fact! It is a very busy place here... and I want you to be happy not sad.
Jodi needs you so please don't fall apart on me.
I know you want to be there for her like Granny was for you so you have to be strong. And I know you are a very strong person. You were for me, I told you more than once ya know.
And I know you wish you had told me how proud you are of me and I know you wish you had told me more how much you love me. I told you I wish I had told Les how much I enjoyed him taking us to Arizona before he died and you told me he knew. He did. I have told him since I got here and he knew.
Well, I know how much you love me and you will get to tell me face to face again.
I love you guys... I love you mom... getting close to little Josh's b-day :-)... can't wait!... Love Josh
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