What can be better than having pet peeves? Complaining about them, of course! Here you'll find a list of the pet peeves of myself and others who have submitted their own in an attempt to give the world a HUGE wake up call! Or just to vent our frustrations. All pet peeves listed without an identifying name at the end are my own. Please spread the word of this page so that those that can't take a hint finally will! And don't feel limited to the categories already in existence; I'll create new ones as needed! All you have to do is tell me your peeves and what name (if any) you wish to be listed under! Also, please note that this page is only for common annoyances that happen on a regular basis to you. One-time annoyances have no home here, but if enough are submitted, I'll create a new page and give them a nice place to stay.
Send me your pet peeves!
DRIVING
1. People who change lanes or hit the brakes to turn onto a non-intersection street without using their turn signals. Thanks for the heads up you fuckers! Especially when it’s raining!
2. People who ride their turn signals without acting upon them. Not only is this annoying, I almost got into a car crash because I thought the person was going to turn onto my street, so I began to pull out onto theirs. Luckily, I hit the brakes in time!
3. People who leave their turn signals on while stopped at a red light. You’re not going anywhere, so stop that!
4. People who use their hazard lights as an excuse to get a good parking spot right in front of the building. Not only are you not fooling anyone, but for those buildings who have parking lots in front of them, you’re blocking people whose parking spots are across from you from pulling out.
5. Slow drivers, to include: fat, old, Oriental, short, and smoking people as well as cell phone users (Heaven forbid a combination of all of those!). Slow vehicles, to include: big rigs, buses, and dump trucks. I take off fast and do 10 above the speed limit; help me out or get out of my way!
6. People who don’t go when the light turns green. Enough said.
7. Having to slow down for pedestrians who don’t know how to use a crosswalk. I should run you over just to teach you a lesson!
8. People who jog in the middle of the road despite the many sidewalks available. Roads were made for cars, not people; you are begging to be run over!
9. Bicyclers on the road. You can’t go as fast as a car and you slow down traffic since we have to swerve into the next lane just to avoid you, which really sucks when there’s a car already there. Get out of the way!
10. People who crank up the bass so their car rumbles. Your music sucks and I don’t care if you can see me flipping you off! Fuck you, too, you deaf mother fucker! Oh, and way to prevent yourself from hearing outside noise so you can never hear the world around you. I mean, really, why would you ever need to do that anyway? It’s not like the police, fire trucks, or ambulances need to let you know to get out of their way or anything.
11. Trying to read someone’s bumper sticker or window sticker only to rear end them. This hasn’t happened yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
12. It’s great that huge vehicles make noise when they back up, but I don’t need to hear it 10 blocks away!
13. Hitting a school zone when the lights are flashing. Move the school so it’s off my route!
14. People who, when stopping at a red light, leave a huge gap between them and the car in front of them. Seriously, what’s up with that?
15. People who are in front of the line at a red light that inch forward, inch forward, inch forward, inch, inch, inch, inch, inch...then just sit there when the light turns green. What the hell is your problem?
COOKING/FOOD
1. Having to clean dishes after dirtying them when I can think of better things to do with my time.
COMPUTERS
1. I hate it when a computer does things I don’t like. For example: taking a long time to perform a function like opening a folder or file, freezing during start up, or not reading a disc. You are my bitch; you were specifically made to obey me, not do your own thing, so fix yourself immediately and stop pissing me off!
2. Highlighting a file and meaning to hit F2 to rename it only to hit F3 instead, which means I have to wait for the Search Assistant to pop up just so I can close it just so I can rehighlight the file and hit F2 to rename it. Man my life sucks!
ELECTRONICS
1. ATMs that are temporarily unable to dispense cash. Why can’t they say that before I go through the motions?
LAUNDRY
1. Where’d that damn missing sock go? And why does it finally show up when I throw away the other one?
2. Lint filters that don’t clean themselves.
HOME
1. People who like the temperature to be something I don’t. I once had a roommate that absolutely had to have the room constantly be at 60° all year round.
2. People who don’t leave things the way I put them, to include my toiletries and the shower curtain. You don’t even use my toiletries; why are you touching them? If they’re in your way, put them back when you’re done; I placed them there for a reason! This is exactly why I took the shower curtain with me when I left and replaced it with a transparent, flower-printed curtain. Another good example: my roommate kept leaving the toilet lid down despite not having any pets. Lifting the lid and seat to take a piss is just absolutely stupid and requires more time and effort than I’m willing to give it (I piss in the tub and run the bath water to flush it out instead). Not to mention that leaving the lid down makes emergency shitting all the more delayed.
3. Having the toilets and the showers connected by the same plumbing. You know why.
4. People who hang the toilet paper or paper towels so they fall from the back instead of the front. Sure, I’d love to go through the trouble of having to reach around instead of having the free end right there in front of me! And I certainly don’t mind the free end being behind the roll so I can’t even see it to grab it! How considerate of you!
5. Roommates who play their music too loud—especially late at night when I’m trying to sleep. Your music sucks! Headphones exist for a reason!
INTERNET
1. Websites that are unavailable or can’t be found when I go to them. What’s the point of going there, then?
2. Internet users who type at the kindergarten level. I tried typing like they do once just to mock them, and I realized I had to think harder to type so badly. Why would you ever do that to yourself?
3. Pictures in web search results that lead to dead links. What are the pictures doing on the results page, then?
MALLS
1. Vendors who try to grab my attention so they can talk me into buying their product. I’m ignoring you for a reason; if I want your damn business, I’ll acknowledge your existence!
MOVIES/THEATERS
1. People who spot inaccuracies and state that the movie has been ruined for them instead of having fun finding them. When Clark Kent is in Kansas in Superman Returns, if his white T-shirt’s flip flopping between being old and new kills the fantasy for you, it deserves to die since you think the inconsequential, minute stuff is more important than, say, the storyline!
2. People who talk during the movie. Not only that, but asking stupid questions on top of that! I took a relative to see a movie she wanted to see, and when each preview came on, she kept asking me, “Is this the movie?” (I guess she couldn’t see the screen turning green.) And when the movie finally did start, knowing I probably wouldn’t like it since it wasn’t in my taste, she kept asking me every 10 minutes, “Do you like it, yet?” Not only did I hate it, I’m quite sure the people around us didn’t care for our conversation too much, either.
3. People who praise House of 1,000 Corpses. Who do you thing you’re kidding? That’s the kind of garbage you make to pay the rent on your cardboard box!
4. Having movie times listed only in minutes. How am I suppose to know how long 115 minutes is? Just tell me in the hour/minute format so I don't have to waste time doing the math! Inconsiderate assholes!
NEIGHBORHOOD
1. People who use their car horns as doorbells. The rest of the neighborhood doesn’t need—and doesn’t want—to know that you’re there! Get your lazy ass out of your car and knock on the damn door!
2. Other people’s trash finding a home in my yard. I’m not your maid; I will not clean up your mess for you!
3. People who use my outdoor trashcan (you know, the kind on wheels and holds multiple bags of trash) without asking first.
4. Ding dong ditchers. I have a peephole; you will not have the satisfaction of seeing me fall for your bullshit prank, you fucking morons!
5. Unsolicited salespeople and religious word-spreaders who feel they just have to knock on my door or ring my doorbell. I didn’t ask for your services; I don’t require your services, or else I’d come to you! You are the only people who have my permission to use my outdoor trashcan without asking.
PEOPLE
1. People who grab my attention with their hellos without having a conversation to follow it up with. If you have nothing to say to me, don’t acknowledge my existence!
2. People who complain about being stereotyped. Stereotypes exist for a reason; we don’t pull these things out of our asses! If you don’t like it then quit fitting the mold…or change it. And don’t tell me one person can’t make a difference; Rosa Parks did. So did Hitler.
3. Toddlers that don’t come with their own mute button. Nobody cares that you’re not getting the toy/piece of candy/video game you want, so get over it and shut the fuck up!
4. People who are arrogant, egotistical assholes. Need I say more?
5. People who don’t listen to me even though I know better. I was in a car with someone telling him exactly where he needed to go to reach our destination, but he called the destination anyway to get directions.
6. People who think celebrity gossip is news. Oh! A celebrity bought groceries? Went to the beach? Drove a car? Drank coffee? And you felt that was worth interrupting my 5 minute break for?
7. Foreigners who think the only cuss word in the English language is, “fuck.” We have more than that! Learn them! Use them!
8. People who are drunks. Drunken people don’t obey me and you have to take fucking forever to convince them to do something, so I have no tolerance for them.
9. When the person in front of me takes 10 minutes at an ATM to do whatever it is they’re doing when all I want to do is grab $20 and go. The only consolation I get from this is knowing that the people behind us love me more than they do you.
10. People who give their kids retarded names that will guarantee them being made fun of and beaten up for their entire existence in the name of originality. Preferably, these names will be unpronounceable by reading them and thus won’t reveal their gender, be an existing word that’s pronounced differently so we can constantly say it wrong, or be an existing name with what would normally constitute a typographical error.
11. People with retarded names that don’t legally change them. You’re just begging to be bullied now!
PHONES
1. Receiving unsolicited calls from organizations that use machines to dial my number so I can’t tell them to fuck off (were I to answer). (The Do Not Call registry is only for telemarketers; nonprofit organizations and scam debt collection agencies can still call you).
2. Receiving calls meant for Ruby Youngblood. I don’t know who this person is, but if I ever find her, I’ll kill her for intentionally giving out my number instead of hers.
3. People who talk on their cell phones while driving. Thanks for being slow drivers who don’t use turn signals, assholes! Hands free sets exist for a reason!
4. People who have ear attachments to their cell phones but look directly at me while they’re using them.
SMOKERS
1. People who stand outside in front of a high traffic door to smoke. Let’s face it, smokers are the only people who work anyway; nonsmokers have no reason to enter a place of employment or business unless we have a death wish.
2. People who try to get me to buy their cigarettes for them. No! You need to suffer some more by supporting your own damn habit!
TV
1. Rick Berman and Brannon Braga need to retire from the Star Trek franchise. It gets worse because they’re still affecting it.
2. People who say that Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is gay (this includes Willow herself). She swooned after Xander for however many seasons and had a boyfriend named Ox before landing Tara. Therefore, Willow is bisexual. Jesus! Am I the only one who realizes this?
3. Having 500 channels and nothing to watch. I know you feel my pain on this one!
4. ALF’s name was Gordon Schumway, yet he was never called by his name. What’s up with that?
5. Maury Povich’s redundant show themes with clearly scripted scenes and the worst possible actors for guests. I think it’s time he went off the air.
6. Commercials that play before the show is over.
7. Have you seen how many commercial breaks Montel Williams has? You just came back from a commercial break! Why are you taking another one two minutes later?
VIDEO GAMES
1. Games that don’t have cheat codes for invincibility, race clock freezing, and infinite amounts of any necessary items. I play to win damn it! That’s my idea of fun!
2. I hate it when I scream at a video game and it doesn’t hear me; that pisses me off even more.
WOMEN
1. Your outfit gives me a boner. Can we go now?
2. If sexy celebrities want to wear skimpy and revealing outfits all the time without wearing undergarments of any kind, then that is not a problem. Stop saying it is.
3. Why can’t you have your period when I’m not around?
4. How did you come up with all that stuff? Nobody thinks like that!
