Driving as Graded Exposure

How far should I drive? What if I panic? How do I get back home quickly and safely?

When you have someone else doing the driving, it's ' vital ' that the driver understands that ' you ' must be the one in control at this stage. They need to be sensitive to the fact that you might need to avoid any red traffic lights for now, that you don't feel comfortable out in the far right lane, that you need to be able to turn back in a split second if your anxiety is getting beyond what you can cope with. When they understand this, they will know how to help you. This takes a lot of pressure off you, by knowing that your driver will not push you, but will ' support ' you while in the car.

YOU will become the person in control - and that's ok. That's important. YOU will find your own limits. YOU will be the one to set your own targets. It is your problem, and it is YOU that is trying to recover from it - not the driver. If they are not supportive of your needs while in the car - Be Assertive! It's as simple as that. Enlisting the help of a Community Health Centre counsellor is wonderful - it helps you to build up trust with a ' total stranger '. Trust is such an important issue in your recovery. You need to be able to ' trust ' the person who is driving you - trust them that they ' will ' stop, or turn around, or change lanes, avoid traffic lights, etc... when ' you ' need them to. You'll eventually be able to tackle these things, but all in good time - the first year of recovery can be frustratingly slow, and can seem like you're not getting anywhere at all - but you will - eventually the agoraphobia ' the limits ' will start to break away - you'll be able to go further and further - sometimes in big leaps and bounds, other times you'll feel like it's a slow crawl - but it will happen.

I can't emphasise how important it is though - to ' enjoy the practice ' - don't turn it into a ' self-competition ' or race....you need to practice ' kindness to yourself ' by being supportive of yourself through all of this. You are trying to face an enormous fear - a phobia - no one expects someone with a phobia of heights to overcome it in a certain time - the idea is to chip away at the problem little by little - and be proud of what you are accomplishing. One small step for you - One giant leap for confidence ! You'll know when to turn back, and you'll know when you're ready to push yourself that little bit more - listen to what your own body is teaching you now - it's going to be your best every guide.

Happy Driving!
Verity